Redemption
by Sui Causa
Summary: As the planet faces the verge of it's death, in a last effort to save itself it sends Cloud back to where it all began. Angst, Yaoi. Zack/Cloud, Angeal/Zack, Angeal/Cloud, Angeal/Cloud/Zack.
1. Chapter 1  A Sense of Finality

**Authors Notes:** This is not a new story. This story has been in progress for a couple of years, as my ability to write it has been hindered over the course of that time. Although my writing style has changed over this time, and is visible in the chapters following, the direction of this story has remained the same. I'm back to writing it and have been updating it consistently as of late. To celebrate that this story is no longer dead, I've decided to upload it here as well as my writing livejournal, (available in my profile), so that more people can read it, and hopefully enjoy it. Thank you for your interest and I hope you enjoy the story. :)

**Title: **Redemption**  
Fandom:** Final Fantasy VII  
**Pairings:** ZackxCloud, AngealxZack, AngealxCloud, AngealxZackxCloud  
**Warnings:** ANGST. Slight AU. Gay things.  
**Rating:** Hard R - NC-17 in future.  
**Summary:** The Planet faces the verge of death, in the last effort to save itself, it sends Cloud back to when it all began.

**Chapter 1 - A Sense of Finality**  
A sense of finality had spread through the hearts of everyone watching Edge's final struggle. The fighting spirit of Midgar lived on in Edge. The first attack had been a severe setback, but life went on. People used their strong will to continue and rebuilt what was lost. No one had expected the attacks to continue.

And as Edge sunk into the ground, joining the ruins of Midgar in the desolate waste that was left, everyone knew what it meant. The Planet could no longer heal where Midgar had fallen.

There weren't enough people left to rebuild a new town. There were not enough mothers, not enough children or intact families for the legacy to continue. Nobody knew a whole lot about what started the attacks, but they knew one thing.

The Darkness was strongest where The Planet was polluted. It was not safe to live in the shadow of Midgar's desolation.

It had been a year and a half since Edge had been abandoned, and there was no life at all in Midgar. Even the slum rats were gone, any natural life too unnerved to live anywhere where the lifestream was not present.

As Cloud stood on the cliffs overlooking Midgar's plane, he knew it had not been long enough since his last visit. Edge had at one time been his home, the hope of everyone trying to rebuild. Now it was impossible to see where the wreckage of Midgar ended, and the ruins of Edge began. This was not home to anything but The Darkness and its children.

The land was scarred and dry, blackened where The Darkness had pushed through the earth during the attacks. The air was stagnant and heavy, with the sun beating down as hard as it was, the climate was almost unbearable.

'So it's true, The Planet has given up on this place.'

The only shelter from the suns scorching rays was the amount of grime that coated Cloud's skin. They had been on the move for too long, fighting every step of the way in an attempt to make it to safety, and they were looking worse for wear. Sweat, dirt and blood caked into his skin, choking and suffocating. Residue from The Darkness, much resembling what geostigma had looked like, was caked on all of them as well, leftovers from the monsters that they had slain. It was hard to keep open wounds from becoming infected by The Darkness in these conditions.

Buster Sword still stood proud in the ground, a silent testament to what had once been. It seemed like forever ago when Cloud first put it here, even though only nine years had come and gone. He was sure that the sword would deteriorate first, eventually sinking into The Planet, returning to it's original owner. But at this rate, there wouldn't be much of a planet to return to.

The world had witnessed The Planets power to defend itself when it had aided Holy, effectively destroying Meteor and most of Midgar as well. But this area was proof that The Planet was nearing the end of it's power. Midgar was not the only place that had become too desolate to support human existence. It was a scary thought, but it was widely accepted now.

The Darkness was a combined force of everything contaminated in The Planet. Much as geostigma had once corrupted and choked off a body's natural function, this Darkness, horridly strong, had worked it's way deep into the lifestream.

It gathered at one place, empowered by the horrors of science and technology in the wrong hands. The Planet could no longer take the pain of this corruption, and tried to fight it. But it would overcompensate, and end up destroying everything, hurting itself more and giving The Darkness a new wound to sink itself into. Each of these attacks had the devastating effects of another Calamity. And there were too many of them happening too often, The Planet was doomed.

They had tried, god they had tried hard to stop the attacks from happening, tried to rid the world of The Darkness. But somewhere along the lines their fighting turned from trying to save the world, to just trying to stay alive.

Cloud closed his eyes tightly, resting his hand atop the hilt of Buster Sword, allowing himself a moment to let down his guard. The voices were quiet for now, and had been for a few days. Perhaps it was because they had come too close to the wreckage of Midgar. Or perhaps it was because The Planet wished to leave him alone after the last news that it had delivered.

There were so many people in the lifestream, so many dead calling out to those still living that it had become a common occurrence for Cloud to hear the whispers of voices when no one was around. Everyone did, to a degree, but it seemed that The Planet only spoke to Cloud directly.

Sometimes Cloud wanted to peg it all as nerves and declare himself insane. Other days he was sure he was already around the bend. For so long now he had been putting a lot of effort into steering is thoughts away from what had happened, never allowing himself a chance to reflect. There was no place for weakness anymore, and his emotional state was far too delicate to be exposed.

_'Friends found their peace in the lifestream today.' Cloud had given everything to gain nothing for The Planet, it was only appropriate that it would speak to him itself when something happened. It also caused Cloud to dread hearing the planets voice._

_It was also the announcement that Cloud feared the worst. There were only two people left that he'd shed tears over. Despite the constant reports of new dead, there was not much that could be done for those who had fallen. There was too much riding on Cloud and his men for them to pause fighting for anything, and that included grieving. They were all building up a lot of grief inside, they were all looking forward to the peace when they joined their dead loved ones in the lifestream. That's when they would grieve._

_Yuffie had been the last one that Cloud had heard of. She had been with Vincent and Tifa's forces, probably the largest of their forces in one place. She had died from poisoning, too stubborn to use restore materia that could be used to keep someone else alive, she had refused to heal the small flesh wound. But The Darkness had gotten into the wound, it was one of the more painful deaths that could be suffered._

_That left only..._

_'Vincent says, he'll save a spot for you in the lifestream.' Cloud hung his head and shut his eyes tight to hold back the surge of emotion that washed over him. Vincent had always just wanted to be left alone, he hadn't wanted to get involved. When the war had reached it's peak, there hadn't been much of a choice, though. Yet Cloud felt guilty, he had been the one to convince Vincent to join the struggle._

_'Tifa has much to tell you, but she wishes to tell you herself when she finds her voice.'_

_And that was the breaking point. No matter how tight Cloud shut his eyes, he couldn't stop the tears from falling._

Vincent and Tifa were to meet him in Kalm with what was left of their forces. There they would regroup and be better prepared to face the next wave. Yuffie had died on the way, but nobody had been expecting the onslaught of monsters and enemies that had been waiting for them in Kalm. The Darkness overwhelmed what was left of their dwindling forces, there were no survivors.

And that army of enemies was now sweeping over the plane to meet them and the few remaining soldiers left alive under his command. They had worn themselves to the bone and ran out of supplies making the hard run to Kalm from where they had been stationed in Mideel. They could no longer run away, they would have to make their final stand.

The mood when they had broke camp in the morning had been bleak, but these soldiers were worn to the bone, they were ready to face their end and receive their well deserved peace.

'_Just a little longer, buy us a little more time._' Cloud wasn't sure what The Planet meant by that. They could have all the time in the world and it wouldn't do them any good. There were not enough new recruits, the WRO was nearly wiped out, there wasn't anything organized enough to train new fighters. The last pockets of resistance had been wiped out recently. As far as Cloud was aware, they were effectively the last ones standing.

There was nothing left to fight for. The WRO was in shambles, everyone he loved was dead, and The Planet was dying as well. There was no optimism left, just the hard reality that they were about to face death with no method of survival.

He heard footsteps in the distance, alerting him that the rest of his troops had caught up with him. All that was left out of hundreds of healthy, determined soldiers, was perhaps a dozen men and women, battle worn and callous to the world around them. Tired, wounded and underfed, it was out of pure spite that they would refuse to go down without a fight.

No words were spoken between him and his men as they started to set up a camp where he had stopped. They could see what was coming here, and it was better that way. The set up what was left of their tents, crawling into the shade and living out the last of their lives in silence.

There wasn't enough food to go around, only a few blankets and only three tents were still functional. The only thing everyone had their own of was a weapon and materia, but that wasn't enough to keep an army going.

What was left of the food was passed around. Cloud refused his, reaching into his diminishing supply of potions and finding the last hyper he had. Downing it, Cloud felt some of the sadness slip away, some energy returning to him. He'd been living off hypers for quite a while though, the effect was not as strong as it used to be.

He joined his men, sitting under the flap of a tent with the empty hyper bottle in his hand. His side was sore, and he noted dully that there might be something broken or bleeding. He didn't make any effort to take care of it though. Open wounds took priority, it was better to die of internal bleeding then let someone die of poisoning. He was still probably the healthiest out of the group, the cells that he had at one time cursed keeping him going. Whatever it was in his side would probably have mended itself before their final battle.

"I wonder what the promised land will be like." It was the first thing that had been said in a while. The soldier who said it was looking a little worse for wear, somehow the top part of his uniform had been ripped away, and the sun had been burning his skin for a while. Restore materias were in short enough supply that he didn't do anything about it, though.

"After all we've done for The Planet, it'd better be good." The woman who spoke was kneeling next to a stretcher with what was left of their medical supplies. The man had been jumped with his pants down when he had wandered away from the group to piss. An embarrassing situation as it was, but some of The Darkness had made it's way into an open wound. Alvio, the woman and their remaining medic, was doing her best to cleanse the wound and kill the pain that the poisoning was causing. It wasn't severe enough to kill the man, but it was enough to cause a lot of discomfort.

"Kinda seems like The Planet doesn't like us much, though. Keeps on rejecting us over and over." Cloud wasn't sure who spoke that time, and couldn't find it in himself to care. "These lives of ours have been a cursed existence. All this fighting with no hope of..."

The man trailed off and they all grew quiet and grim. They were looking forward to the peace that death would bring, but what would happen after that was anyone's guess. When they were gone there would be no one left to defend The Planet.

The remaining members of the cult who had started this whole mess would have free reign. They would strengthen and nurture The Darkness until it overpowered the lifestream. What would become of their peace? Would they even have a lifestream to return to?

Cloud ached to grieve for his friends properly, to say goodbye to all that he had lost and sort through his thoughts, his emotions, and his memories at least once before his end. Yet to remove that ache, he'd have to go through a pain far too intense. He wasn't sure his body could handle that pain anymore, so he'd deal with that ache. He'd wait until he reached the lifestream before he'd start to work things out.

In the lifestream, he wouldn't be alone anymore. Everything would be easier to handle with his friends beside him.

And that's what hurt the worst. Despite the fact that he tried hard not to get attached, Cloud depended on his friends for his strength. There were no friendships in this army, everyone knew better than to get attached to someone who might not be there the next day. They didn't plan futures with each other, because a future was unlikely.

But the friendships of his past had offered those things. The war had drawn them closer together before it had ripped them apart irreparably.

It was several hours later when the first howl was heard. It drew most of his men from their light slumber. The sun was at the highest point in the sky, and in the distance they could see the black streak that was their attackers moving across the plane. It was an agonizing howl that promised everything they expected and feared that woke them all up.

Their battle was fast approaching, and as Cloud stood and drew his sword, his men followed suit. They were looking forward to their last stand. The heat of battle dissolved all thoughts and pain.

And death just promised so much.

The sun was glaringly bright, so it didn't make sense that when Cloud's eyes opened he could barely see anything through the blackness in his vision. He couldn't focus on anything, and while not being able to see was worrisome, it was nothing compared to pain that his body was wracked with as soon as he tried to move.

As was per usual he tried to catalogue his injuries, but there were too many fatal wounds for him to tell one from the other. He didn't have the air in his lungs to curse, but he would have if he could. Just his luck that he would come to before he died, his body determined to cling to life, even though it's grip was loosening fast.

His chest was ripped open, that would explain why his gasps for breath were wet, why there was so much blood in his mouth. He was choking, but he wasn't able to even cough. He was drowning in his own blood and it was a horrible feeling.

They were outnumbered and easily overwhelmed. He had been the last to fall, fighting to his last despite the fact that his body was falling apart from the abuse. He had finally been knocked down, swallowed up by monsters that finally swarmed him. He was dragged to his death, greeted with claws, teeth, and the stagnant smell of death and darkness.

'End it...'

'_We need you alive for a few minutes more_.' Clouds eyes fluttered closed, still struggling to breathe though he was only succeeding in sucking more blood into what was left of his lungs. The only reason he was alive, was because of The Planet's intervention. He could feel the lifestream wrapping around him, even though he couldn't see it. What could they need him for in this state?

Suddenly he felt something cold and chilled circle his hands and arms. Weakly he opened his eyes, but this time the light was so bright that it blinded him. He could only make out bright colors, and then the green shimmer that was the lifestream as it started to envelope him.

When it forced itself into the wounds in his chest, he let out an agonized scream. It was choking him, smothering him and tightening around his body, choking it. He could hear The Planet speaking to him, telling him something about preservation, but he couldn't hear it over the sound of his own screams.

Finally the lifestream hit his organs. It didn't take much pressure for his flooded lungs to collapse, and his heart froze as the mako started to solidify in his body. Death was reaching for him, and Cloud knew he wasn't screaming any longer, that his life was finally being pulled away from him.

They said that when you died your entire life flashed before your eyes, but the only thing Cloud saw was the haunting image of friends who had met their end this way.

'I'm sorry.'

There was nothing left living in Midgar.

'_This is the last thing we will ever ask of you, Cloud. I promise_.' Cloud heard the voice echo through his mind. He tried to open his eyes to see where it was coming from, but when nothing happened he sluggishly realized he didn't have eyes to open.

'_You'll wake up soon. Please listen Cloud, remember as much of this conversation as you can_.' The voice seemed familiar, but when he tried to think to place it a pain wracked through his entire existence. '_Don't think. You're separated from the rest of yourself right now, but I needed to speak with you before you left. I needed...I needed to say goodbye_.'

Cloud knew something was wrong, knew that something wasn't as it should be, but he couldn't think to figure out just what it was.

'_The lifestream is in danger. The Darkness is going to reach it soon and destroy it. The memories, the lives, the souls of everyone here will be lost. There will be no resting place for anyone soon, we can't let that happen. But we can't fight against The Darkness, not now, it's just too strong. We have to...back when it's...before...'_

_The voice was breaking up, losing touch with his mind and Cloud wasn't able to process what was running through his head, unable to put together the words to understand what the voice was trying to communicate._

_'Running out of time...don't forget...goodbye_.'

He wanted to ask the voice to stay, wanted to ask for, no, demand an explanation. But he was being dragged away, deeper into the chasm he was in. And soon he couldn't hear the voice at all anymore.

The unexpected ringing of a bell awoke Cloud suddenly. "SOLDIER candidates group C and B please proceed to training center #29. Your exams will start shortly. Group A is to proceed to the #4 loading dock for departure in 30 minutes."

Cloud heard someone yell "Shit I'm late!" faintly as he sat up, dazed and unsteady.

'SOLDIER?'

Cloud was somewhat stunned by what he had just heard, and the room he was greeted with when he gathered his bearings. He wasn't sure how to react when he looked around and saw the regulation style dorm that he had lived in when he had been a Shinra cadet. He wasn't sure how to react to the class bell or the voice over the PA system.

It seemed to take far too long for his brain to start working and process the situation. But the more he thought about it, the more confused he became. This wasn't right. Memories were starting to flicker in his mind.

He had fought his last battle. He had fallen next to the last of his troops to an enemy that they knew they couldn't defeat. He had died his painful death, and he was taken into the lifestream. He should be waking up next to his friends, he should be in the promised land. He most definitely shouldn't be waking up to the sound of everyday Shinra announcements as if he was still a cadet, as if nothing had happened. Or had that all been a dream? Had none of it really happened?

'_Stay calm, Cloud. There's a lot to explain, but we have some time now_.'

The planets voice creeping into his thoughts was the last thing Cloud needed. No, it wasn't a dream. Somehow he was in his past.

Stumbling out of bed, he untangled himself from sheets. His body was smaller, he noticed that immediately, and he knew he was shaking as he stumbled into the bathroom and flipped on the lights, staring at himself in the mirror.

Sheer blue eyes untouched by mako stared back at him. He looked bewildered, afraid, and most importantly, _fifteen_.

"Oh...Shiva, please no."

'_Don't panic. Calm down Cloud._'

The Planet was trying to soothe him, trying to urge him to stay calm so that the transition could be explained.

But it didn't work. With a whimper Cloud's eyes crossed and he fainted dead away.


	2. Chapter 2  To Find Oneself

**Chapter 2 - To Find Oneself**  
Three days later and Cloud was still unable to fully grasp what exactly had transpired. The sudden change from violent front lines to Shinra classrooms and training centers left him off balance and unable to adjust smoothly. The worst part was he did not fully understand why he was suddenly fifteen again.

To make the transition as graceful as possible, only some of his memories had reached him. They were just enough to give him an understanding of who he was and where he was from, but not enough that he could think back to put together what exactly had happened. Though judging by the general theme that his memories took, they wouldn't paint a scene of fields of flowers and rainbows.

He remembered his final battle and the death he had endured. He recalled a voice speaking to him as he drifted mindlessly through the lifestream. That voice had promised an explanation, though one had not yet come. Whenever he tried to press further into his past, to remember how things had ended that way, a strong feeling of guilt and pain washed over him, and the headache that followed was enough to discourage further attempts to push his memories.

Despite his confusion, the quiet voices that drifted into his head when he was alone made it clear that his new existence was an important one. No higher power had graced him with a loving second chance to find peace of mind; this was an assignment to stop history from repeating itself. Cloud knew that the gravity of the situation would sink in better if all his memories were in place.

At night he would dream of what had once been, his memories returning in bits and pieces. Perhaps it was better that everything wasn't dumped on him all at once; he wasn't sure how close to insanity he was, but he was certain he wouldn't need much of a push to send him there.

He was still in the Shinra building, and he knew he wouldn't be leaving any time soon. Despite everything that had happened, he was now a 15 year old boy, he needed a place to provide shelter and food for him. He also needed a home base, and so he endured the classes full of things he already knew, and the training that was far more taxing than it should have been.

Shinra was too big of a player in what had befallen The Planet to let it go unsupervised. There were memories here too. He remembered Sephiroth and Zack. He knew that there were things here he'd have to do.

He only remembered some things about Zack, but he knew full well that the SOLDIER would be his strongest connection. It was high on his priorities to find him and secure a friendship, as it seemed that he had popped into the picture before he had met Zack. It bothered him that so much about Zack was along with the memories he had not yet received, but there was nothing he could do about that right now. He remembered Zack as being a valuable comrade and a good mentor, he wouldn't risk losing that alliance.

In all, the hardest thing to adjust to was his sudden weakness. His jumbled memories and thoughts weren't enough to distract him from the fact that he was suddenly fifteen again, and that this new body had not yet seen a real battle. It was a hard thing to accept, and he found himself constantly mulling over it.

'_Find yourself to find your strength_' ran through his head enough times that he knew The Planet was trying to give him some instruction, but the answer was cryptic and left Cloud puzzled as to what they meant by that.

He finally received a day off from classes, and grateful for that Cloud took advantage of the chance to be left alone. He locked himself in the small dorm, ignoring the fact that he was being horridly anti-social when most of the new recruits were out and about trying to make friends. It was better off this way though, he didn't want to take the chance of passing out in public if he was suddenly bombarded with memories he couldn't handle.

Pacing around the small room and thinking on The Planets words was frustrating him. Needing to do _something_, he opened the bedroom window to let in some fresh air. The view wasn't exactly inspiring. Looking out over Midgar's plates there was nothing but dirty buildings and polluted landscape in the distance, the desert planes stretching out into cliffs that overlooked the city.

And that's when it hit him. '_Find yourself_.'

The Planet wasn't giving him a complex riddle or a big puzzle, they were literally telling him to find himself. He had died on the cliffs overlooking Midgar, The Planet had preserved his body in mako from the lifestream when he had died.

'So you were planning this even before I died.' The thought was bitter, but he couldn't find it in himself to be overly upset. The Planet was just as desperate as the rest of them had been, this had probably been a last ditch effort to stop the inevitable.

'_You bought us enough time to make these arrangements_.'

His plans for relaxing during his day off effectively quashed, Cloud planned his trip to the Midgar cliffs. There was not going to be a problem leaving the Shinra building, and even getting through a bustling Midgar wouldn't be too much of a hassle despite the fact he hadn't been in an inhabited Midgar for years. It was going to be a long walk to the cliffs though; he wasn't used to moving around without Fenrir.

After leaving the Shinra building without so much as a glance in his direction, Cloud took a train down to the sector seven slums. A strong feeling of recognition washed over him as he walked through a small playground, but he was unable to place the memory that felt painfully important to him. For now, he decided he'd be better off not knowing.

He followed the small road out of the Midgar gate, and as he looked across the polluted plane, he knew that it would be a while before he made it back to Shinra. Without hesitating too long, Cloud started walking down the dusty road headed towards the cliffs. He'd been walking for a good stretch of time when he heard the roar of an engine behind him, turning his head to see a truck coming up behind him. It was a civilian truck, the back of it planked up with wood to make the bed deeper, and he decided not to pay too much attention to it.

The driver slowed down when he saw him, pulling up parallel to him as he walked. When he was sure he'd gotten Cloud's attention, he stuck his head out the window.

"Hey, kid!" Cloud appreciated the fact he'd remembered to switch to civilian clothes before he came out, the only thing relating him to Shinra would be the regulation sword strapped to his back, but that didn't seem to strike any recognition into the man. "There are monsters on this road, ya know!"

Cloud nodded, having already encountered one on his journey. It had been a small scuffle, which was still shameful as Cloud knew he should have been able to cut down the wolf in one hit. "I'm not going far."

"Well," The man raised a hand to rub at his chin, "We're on our way to Junon, if you're going the same direction I can give you a lift." The man jabbed a thumb in the direction of the back of the truck. Peeking through the gap between wood planks, he saw a chocobo riding in the back of the truck.

"That'd be great, sir. I'm just going to the cliffs." He pointed to the plateau overlooking Midgar.

"I can take you that far, but you're on your own for the way back." The man said with a grin.

Nodding his thanks, Cloud climbed into the back of the truck. The chocobo paused to examine him, peering with a black beady eye until it decided Cloud was not a threat. Giving a happy wark, the bird went back to peering over the wooden planks, watching what lay beyond.

"Don't mind Scooter, he's a good bird." The man started driving again, though he seemed to be the kind that liked to talk whenever given an opportunity. Cloud absently wondered how much time this man spent talking to his chocobo travel partner.

"The names Pete, what's yours kid?"

"Cloud."

"So uh, Cloud. What's a young kid like you doing wandering around out here? Trying to get yourself killed?"

"Something important to me is out here." Cloud said, leaning against the back of the cab. Occasionally the chocobo would lower his head to nudge Cloud's chest, expecting a pat which Cloud was sure to give. "An old friend left me something in those hills. I've got to find it."

"Oh, so a treasure hunt?" The man sounded somewhat intrigued. "Well I sure hope you find what you're looking for." The man went on, for what reason Cloud wasn't sure. "A lot of people in this place don't find what they're searching for."

"What do you mean by that?" Cloud asked, not sure why he was antagonizing the man to continue the conversation, but figuring there wasn't much else to do in the back of a loud truck with a chocobo that didn't seem to understand personal space.

"A lot of people come to Midgar from all over the countryside. A lot of small town folk, hoping to make their life in the big city of mako." The man snorted. "Never make it to the plates, most of them get stuck in the slums. Lookin' at you I don't see a slum kid though."

Cloud frowned, wondering just what the man meant by that. "Too clean, too slight. Damn a kid like you wouldn't last a minute. Be happy up on the plates kid, there aint nothing worth losing everything for down here."

"I'm not from the plates." Cloud said after a while. "I'm one of those kids that came from a small town. Came to the big city of mako to make something of myself." The driver let out a laugh.

"You made it with Shinra, didn't you? Aye I recognize the sword on your back, used to carry one around myself. You do right by them and they'll take care of you. I should know."

It was odd listening to someone else's story when his own was in such turmoil, but Cloud was curious. "What happened?"

"The war with Wutai, that's what. I did my bit for Shinra, but when I came back I'd seen too much. I asked to be released from the military. They gave me my wad of money and I moved to Costa Del Sol. Got myself a nice place for my family, got a bird for my kid. Figured she'd do better on a solid chocobo then on some flashy vehicle. Got a good pen for it, and then another couple came from the wild and moved into it as well. Figured I'd start breeding the blasted things to make some money off them. I'll be damned, but renting them out to tourists turned out to be a pretty sharp idea."

The conversation was starting to deteriorate, and Cloud lost interest when the man started talking about the politics behind breeding chocobos. By the time they made it to the cliffs, Cloud was relieved to be free of the talkative man. When they stopped Cloud jumped from the back of the truck, but Pete grinned and waved him over.

"Hey Cloud, if you're ever in Costa, make sure you give me a call. An' if you ever need a chocobo I got a whole flock of them." The man reached through the window to hand Cloud a slick white card, which he dutifully accepted.

"I'll remember, thank you." Cloud said, and waved as the man and his chocobo drove off.

Cloud blinked down at the card for a moment. There was a picture of a chocobo on the background, with the man's address and phone number on it. Tucking it into a pocket, Cloud shrugged it off. It had been a long time since he had just talked to someone he didn't know. During the war conversation of any sort was minimal, and now in Shinra nobody noticed him enough to talk.

Shaking his head Cloud walked the last remaining distance to the top of the cliff. When he reached the top he just stood there for a moment, absorbing the view. It was familiar to him, already many memories of this place had returned. The landscape was different though, he remembered looking over a ruined Midgar. He remembered a rusted buster sword stabbed deeply into the ground, a memorial to something currently forgotten.

Turning away from memories and to the issue at hand, Cloud surveyed the area, unsure of where to look. He knew that his final battle had taken place in this area, but there was nothing to testify to that fact now. He also knew that when he had died, these cliffs had been worn away and eroded greatly. Whatever he was looking for now was probably underneath the surface of the ground.

The voices were quiet, not giving him directions which frustrated Cloud. He didn't have a clue what he was visually looking for, so he gave up on pinpointing an exact location and started to walk around the area, hoping that whatever higher power was out there would guide him to what he was looking for.

He spent a good half hour searching in such a matter, wandering back and forth across the top of the cliff, feeling quite foolish. He was almost ready to give up, but he suddenly wandered across just the right spot a ways away from the edge of the cliff. There was no question it was the right spot, either.

The ground burst around his feet, lifestream shooting upward and winding around his legs to pin him in place. The ground just seemed to melt away as the lifestream pushed upward with its load, and Cloud shuddered at what it revealed.

It was like a block of mako had been buried inside the ground, and encased inside was Cloud's body as it had been when he had died. Wounds were half healed from the pure energy that the mako had smothered his body in, but the body did not heal well after its life had deserted it.

It was an extremely eerie feeling as Cloud kneeled next to his body, examining what he had once been. He had at one time been an attractive young man, but the war had beaten him down to a gaunt, desperate looking thing. Skin was dirty and stained with dirt and blood, but not enough to disguise how terribly pale he was. His lips, chin and neck were coated in blood that had been choked up during his last, desperate breaths. Clouded blue eyes were closed but the dark circles under them were still painfully obvious. He looked...exhausted, tired. Even asleep in death he looked unable to rest.

Which was a bitterly true statement.

The mako shimmered under his hand as he reached out to skim his fingertips against it, hissing in surprise at it melted away as ice to an open flame, sinking deeper into the body that it had protected. Without mako pulsing and swirling around him, the body looked even paler, even more haggard and desperate.

It was curiosity that caused him to reach out again, lightly brushing away sandy hair from a dirty forehead. He regretted the soft action though, as soon as the soft skin of his fingertips came into contact with his body of old, a sharp electric shock froze him into place as mako crackled around his hand and arm.

The next thing Cloud saw was a bright light flashing from the body, and then there was nothing but pain beyond what his young body had ever felt. His senses overloaded and he felt himself collapsing, falling onto the body underneath and creating even more of the agonizing contact.

The pain drove his consciousness from his body, but instead of passing out, he only remembered.

_He really hadn't wanted to involve Tifa in this. She said that she knew what she was getting in to when she joined, but Cloud knew she probably regretted those words now. Nobody knew what they were getting in to when this had started. The problem was, there was no way to get out of it anymore, either._

She had been sent to quell a small uprising in the Northern Crater. One of the earliest of attacks had occurred there, but people were too busy trying to preserve what was left of towns that had been attacked at the same time. The energies that were in the crater had been tainted strongly from Sephiroth's presence there so many years ago. The energy had started to eat at The Planet, and when The Planets screams became loud enough, people reacted.

The monsters that were crawling out of the Northern Crater were stronger then they had expected, and contact had been lost with Tifa's group. The days Cloud had spent in Mideel area had been agony. So far away and unable to do anything, yet knowing that the lost contact meant that Tifa wouldn't be able to get help even if she needed it. He dreaded the words from The Planet, saying that she had joined the lifestream. He dreaded that those words would ever be spoken.

Tifa meant so much to him. Their small family, Tifa, Marlene, and Denzel was what had taught him how to live a normal life for almost a decade. Tifa was always there for him, no, they were there for each other. Leaning on each other and supporting each other through thick and thin. He knew he loved her greatly, perhaps in more ways than he was really capable of dealing with, but just the thought of losing her made his chest ache.

It would have been so much better if she hadn't put herself in danger. He wouldn't have to worry so much about her, he'd be able to concentrate on other things. But the WRO needed all the experienced fighters that they could get, and Tifa was a great asset.

Her group had come back into contact with them a week later, when Cloud had almost gone mad with frustration. She had met up with Vincent and Yuffie's group in Bone Village, and their forces had banded together to fight the mobs that were beating them down.

The three commanders would end up staying in the northern continent right to the end, just as Cloud and his group were holed up in Mideel. At that time, Northern Crater and the hole in Mideel were the two biggest entrances that The Darkness had into the lifestream. They put everything they could into defending it, into stopping The Darkness from seeping down into it, but...

Monsters started pouring out of the Northern Crater suddenly several months later, overwhelming the area and wiping out most of their forces. Yuffie had been injured and poisoned heavily by The Darkness, which ended up killing her slowly during their retreat.

Vincent and Tifa both died in Kalm. By that time they had lost so much, Cloud had become so numb to everything going on around him, that he never properly mourned her death. Never had a chance to grieve or say goodbye. And now he never would.

Nanaki, son of Seto. He had fought alongside Cloud and his dwindling forces for months. The sheer power in his body outmatching any soldier that the WRO could send them made him a valuable fighter, and his pride and sensibility kept all those around him from going mad. At night, Cloud would lay awake mulling over all that had happened, sometimes depressed, sometimes feeling too sorry for himself. Nanaki would sneak into Cloud's tent during those nights, and curl up on the bed at Cloud's feet.

The two would talk for hours. It was always positive, up building talk. What would happen when the war was over, what they were going to do with their lives. How they would make the dead looking down on them from the lifestream proud.

Somewhere along the lines, their talks started changing. Reality started to sink in and they both knew that there probably wasn't going to be an end to the war. Or if there was, there would be no life worth living afterwards. There would be nothing but rebuilding, rebuilding with the constant fear that everything would be destroyed once more.

The last night they talked like that, Nanaki and Cloud spoke of their places in the lifestream, what it would be like in the promised land when they would be free of the pain and the suffering of this world. What it would be like to join those who had fallen beside them in battle.

The next day there was an attack on what was left of the village of Mideel. The ground opened up, exposing the tainted lifestream as it reached out towards them, promising a painful death. A building teetered on the edge of the abyss, a small child trapped inside. Nanaki jumped towards it to save her, shoving her out of it, saving her life, but falling off the edge of the hole himself.

Cloud remembered hearing Nanaki's strangled howl of pain as he died.

The little girl died two nights later from mako poisoning, and Cloud could never stop feeling that Nanaki's death had been in vain. After that, Cloud would lay awake mulling over what was happening, feeling depressed and sorry for himself, but nobody was there to talk to anymore.

The only thing they found of Barret was the twisted metal of his gun arm, resting in a pool of blood, Darkness, and gargled human remains. Cloud was fighting too hard trying not to end up the same way to say goodbye.

Cid Highwind took off from Junon with his airship, transporting Reeve and several high-power WRO associates, aimed for Costa Del Sol on a routine stop. They were never heard from afterwards.

Cloud was a little older than his body was now, though not by much compared to the other memories. He was in a reactor in Nibelheim, holding an injured Tifa. The man that aspiring SOLDIER's looked up to the most, Sephiroth, had been the one to hurt her. He heard a voice telling him to kill Sephiroth, and he couldn't find it in him to refuse.

More time had passed. His eyes were burning with mako and he couldn't see straight, but he was doing much better than the man, no, the boy laying beside him. Zack and Cloud had escaped, Zack had fought with everything he had to give them freedom. He had gained freedom for Cloud, but the price had been excruciatingly high.

"On my behalf, live...You are the proof that I existed."

Zack died in front of him, as the rain beat down on his blood soaked body. He died the same place Cloud had nearly a decade later. He died with only one person to know, with only one person to acknowledge that he had once been an amazing, living being.

Hojo peered down at him as he was stretched out on an operating table. Cloud quietly begging for it to end. No more tests, no more experiments. No more.

Cloud watching from a distance as Barret screamed in agony, running forward to beat at the remains of Sector 7, knowing that their friends and comrades were caught inside, killed by the falling plate.

The Planet screamed as its lifestream was tainted by Darkness, eaten alive, feeling the same pain Cloud had felt as the geostigma had crawled through his veins.

'Don't forget Cloud.'

The swarm of images stopped making sense, blurring into oblivion as they bombarded his mind with memories he wished he could put behind him. The pain of losing all his friends, of knowing he hadn't been able to stop it. He remembered how he had only been able to stand by and watch everything he cared for spiral out of control, and that crushed what was left of his ability to hold on.

The emotions and the pain became too much, and his mind gave out as well, finally letting him fall blissfully unconscious against what he had once been.


	3. Chapter 3  Forgotten SOLDIER

**Chapter 3 - Forgotten SOLDIER**  
Cloud awoke weakened and disoriented, unsure of where he was or how long he had been there. It was dark out now, but he didn't know how long he'd been unconscious for. His head was nearly splitting with pain, and when he lifted a hand to cradle it, his arms were heavy and weak, and his hands were shaking uncontrollably. His breath was ragged and fast, his heart was beating a mile a minute and his mind was practically swimming around all the thoughts racing through it.

Things...could have been better.

On top of everything, he had in no way been magically teleported back to a place where he could collapse and sleep whatever this was off. Instead he was on a cliff in the outskirts of Midgar. Groggily the reality of the situation beyond just his physical pain started to sink in. The lifestream, the lifestream had rejected him when he had finally reached it, when he would finally be able to stand next to his friends, when he'd finally be able to apologize he had been cast away.

Now he was alone. That lifestream didn't even exist anymore, his friends were lost forever, he'd never be able to even feel their words run through his mind. Only the cool voice of the planet would speak to him, never the warm voice of those who cared for him. A new sharp pain erupted in his chest, but Cloud was sure it wasn't a physical pain.

He wasn't capable of standing yet, crouched on the ground struggling to maintain consciousness, to deal with the mess his body was in. He would have to get to his feet soon, he'd have to bury his body and then walk back to Midgar. It took a good five minutes of preparing before he finally pulled himself to his feet, feeling weak and dizzy, but some of the pain in his head had eased, and his chest wasn't burning as hard as it had been.

Looking around, he frowned. He had passed out on top of his body, so why wasn't it there? He was tired and frustrated, and things like disappearing corpses were not striking him as amusing. Turning slowly, Cloud scanned the area. What he saw made him pause completely.

The small pit that his body had been in was still there, but there was no trace of either the body or any of the mako that had encased it. Instead, First Sword lay across the pit, fully assembled and pressed into its sheath. On top of it were many colourful spheres of materia, along with Mystile.

It looked so carefully placed, and Cloud was confused as to where his body had gone to.

Cloud decided he wouldn't try to understand it, in no state to sit and puzzle over it. Instead he braced himself and walked over to where everything was. While he felt weak as a kitten, his steps were surprisingly sure. How much of his pain was real physical ailments and how much of it was generated by his mind was undeterminable.

'_The mako has poisoned you._' A voice that was different than The Planet's ran through his mind, but he was too tired to distinguish it even if it did sound painfully familiar. '_Your body is struggling, but your mind is familiar with it. The mako will make things better as soon as your body absorbs it properly. For now, your body is putting everything into fighting it off and losing. Cloud you always were too stubborn._'

Cloud finally shook his head. 'I...I know you. I recognize your voice, but I just can't place it.' He thought tiredly, not even sure if he had gotten through or not.

'_Don't think too much on it Cloud, just save your strength. I'll help you as much as I can. Now, equip yourself for the walk back._'

Shakily Cloud reached out for Mystile, strapping it to his arm. Despite the burning of his eyes or the fogginess of his vision, he slipped restore and comet into the sockets, too tired to sort through the rest. He opened the storage pocket on the side of his sheath, stacking the rest of the materia into that before he got back to his feet again.

He was still shaking, but he realized it wasn't from the weakness most of his body felt, but from an underlying surge of energy, almost like the sugar rushes he used to get when Yuffie was the one who prepared his coffee. It was horrible how his body was reacting to this, half of it ready to face it like the Cloud from past would have handled it, half of it ready to cave under the pressure it created on his too young body. And then a smaller part, desperate to suck up as much as the energy it could, feeding off of it to gain more strength.

The voice's advice to stop thinking too much on it seemed smart, so Cloud did stop. Lifting up First Sword he slipped himself into the sheath, having to adjust the straps to his smaller frame.

Walking slowly, Cloud made it to the edge of the cliff, and for a moment his eyes blurred and he saw a double vision. He saw Midgar as it had been the last time he stood at this spot. The bustling town before him destroyed, levelled into rubble. The land around it equally desolate, a barren wasteland shunned by The Planet. He had to stop that from happening, somehow he had to stop it from reoccurring; with only a sword and a broken heart he would protect The Planet.

He turned his back to the view and the vision with a promise to The Planet and to everyone who had sacrificed something to save it. He would stop it before things spiralled so far.

Cloud let his mind fill with nothingness on his trip back to Midgar, refusing to think any more on what had occurred on the cliff.

The first clock that Cloud saw when he stumbled into the Shinra building informed him that it was two in the morning. By that point his nerves had settled, his thoughts had stopped swirling and his chest had stopped aching. He was still shaking, his eyes were burning more than before and his skin felt cold and clammy, but he could feel the symptoms starting to lighten if only just a little. He just had to give his body time to cope, he just had to sleep it off and he was so close to finally being able to do that.

The halls were mercifully empty as Cloud drearily made his way back to his dorm room. Somehow the walk back to Midgar, through the slums, and the train ride up to the plate didn't take as long as it did for him to walk the last distance, the final stretch by far the longest.

When he finally made it, he went straight for the bed, not removing a thing as he collapsed into the mattress.

Sleep came almost instantly, but it brought with it haunting memories that Cloud had hoped wouldn't return.

'_Cloud, you aren't as alone as you think._'

His alarm clock went off way too early, waking him up with its cheery ring, informing him that it was 7:30 and it was time for him to get up. Groggily Cloud lifted his head to glare at it before reaching out and hitting the button to shut it off. Cloud was surprised by the heavy weight on his back, belatedly realizing that he had fallen asleep as soon as he had hit the mattress, First Sword still strapped to him. With a groan he pushed himself up, sliding off the bed and onto his feet, rubbing his forehead.

He felt dazed. He could recall what he felt like when he had stumbled in here earlier in the morning, and it was odd how the symptoms had cleared up. He was feeling weak, but not shaky, and there was no pain in his body anymore. In fact, instead of pain he felt an odd sense of strength curled inside of him, which was a feeling he was quite familiar with.

Slipping the sheath off his back, he dumped everything on his bed before he stumbled to the bathroom. Flicking on the light and glancing at the mirror, his thoughts were silence by what he was greeted with. Bright, shining mako eyes stared back at him, looking quite shocked. Somehow they stood out far more then Cloud ever remembered them doing so. He looked young and naive, yet his eyes reflected a side of him that most definitely didn't fit in. A side that had seen far too many things and held far too much knowledge to be a fifteen year old cadet.

His eyes strayed to the rest of his body, unsurprised at the amount of dirt that covered him. Something did catch his attention though; the sheen of glimmering sweat that coated his skin was too outlandish to be just sweat. Not sweat then, perhaps mako? He wasn't sure how much had been absorbed into his body, but apparently it expelled the excess quite easily.

He was positive that The Planet and that voice was the reason he was still standing, certainly this body was not strong enough to handle all the stress on its own. Opening the bathroom drawers he found some medical supplies without too much difficulty. He quickly downed a high potion, and followed it with a tranquilizer to calm his nerves. To be safe he used one of the few remedies he had as well, not wanting to take any chances with a stray status ailment.

As the magic did his job, Cloud wandered back into the main room to locate his newly cleaned uniform. He was reminded that there was a special training event today, and judging by the clock he only had an hour before it went under way. This event was first in numerous screening missions, cadets who impressed enough people had a chance of being nominated for SOLDIER. Not to mention the challenge it offered, Cloud was itching to become reacquainted with First Sword.

Bringing the uniform back into the bathroom with him he hung it on the hook at the back of the bathroom door, arranging the towels. As he started the hot water for the shower, he frowned at the lack of planning he had to deal with a much bigger problem than his SOLDIER career.

As far as he remembered, the planets contamination itself had not been the problem. Research had been done on the planets self-defence mechanisms, what triggered them and how to pinpoint contamination in the lifestream. These documents had fallen into the wrong hands, and a small, bloodthirsty cult had brutally exposed it.

No doubt this research had been done by Shinra. Cloud smirked lightly to himself as he showered, scrubbing his body down with soap. It seemed that most of The Planets problems originated with Shinra. Dirt, mako, and dried blood ran down his body in rivulets as he washed, perhaps scrubbing a little too hard to remove all the traces of the past day as possible. Mentally and emotionally the events lingered, but physically was something he had control over.

If his plan was to destroy the research done by Shinra before it became a threat, then he would have to gain access to the information. Somehow, being a SOLDIER seemed to open a lot of doors to the inside of Shinra. It would probably be for the best that he listened to The Planet, and stay with the power company.

He shampooed his hair quickly, wiping suds out of his eyes and climbing out of the shower in record time. He towel dried quickly while brushing his teeth at the same time, finishing with trying to wring as much water out of his hair as possible.

The final result was a healthy looking fifteen year old boy that looked breathless and just a little tired. Other than his eyes, Cloud was confident that there was nothing odd about him.

Pulling on his uniform as he walked back into the main room, he started contemplating what he would take with him for training. Most of the cadets participating in this training exercise would have spent a good part of the day before stressing over this, which made Cloud thankful he knew what he was doing.

Opening his sheath's pocket, he dragged out all its contents along with the pitiful medical supply he already had been provided with by Shinra. Dumping everything on the bed along with the materia in the pocket, he unsheathed First Sword carefully. As much as he longed to take it all with him, he knew he would be pushing his endurance to overburden himself.

He split apart the pieces, the short sword at the base, and the two blades along the sides were all lain out on the bed, leaving Cloud with only the base sword. Frowning he grabbed one of the side blades, unable to go with just one piece. Snapping them together he returned First Sword to its sheath, turning his attention to the rest.

He popped a package of hi-potions and ethers into the sheath pocket, a hyper, a tranquilizer, and his last two remedies just in case. Satisfied with that he turned to his materia, starting to sort through it for the first time.

He was happy to see it was his old materia, his summons and his most powerful magics all there. But it was far too advanced for any cadet to own. He was ready to grab everyone's attention, but he was likely to be accused of being a thief if he showed up with anything too elaborate.

He settled on the basics, lightning, all, and restore. Snapping lightning and all together, he added restore into his armband as well, before he strapped it on.

Looking down he had left quite a mess on the bed, First Swords other two blades, scattered materia and potions lying everywhere. Running out of time he refused to clean it up, instead he grabbed a blanket and threw it all overtop hiding the mess from view. Content with that he headed for the door knowing he'd probably be a little late.

His hunger drew him to the cafeteria to grab a muffin and a protein drink, taking it with him as he ran through the halls to get to the Shinra loading dock. By the time he got there most of the cadets were already loaded into the trucks or in the process of getting on, making Cloud curse quietly.

"Strife, you're late!" His commanding officer shouted when he caught sight of Cloud, waving him over.

"Sorry I'm late sir, I was held up by someone."

The man grunted unhappily. "There are no more spots left." When he saw Cloud's disappointed expression he grumbled, flipping through the papers pinned to his clipboard. "I guess there's a spot in Group A, but you aren't supposed to be there. Get in before I change my mind." The man said, pointing to the truck.

"Thank you sir, I won't let you down." Cloud promised before he ran towards the truck.

Group A would be reserved for cadets who showed the most potential, and Cloud knew that he was definitely not an outstanding student by any far stretch, though he was intent to change that now. Pure luck had given him this opportunity and he wasn't going to blow it.

Without any hesitation Cloud climbed into the back of the transport truck, shifting his sheath to the side and sitting down at the end of the bench. Three other cadets were seated in the truck. The black uniform signified a first class SOLDIER that Cloud didn't recognize, and the light blue uniform of third class belonged to...

Cloud sent a quiet thanks to The Planet when he realized that it was Zack sitting next to the first class at the head of the truck, talking politely to one of the cadets. This type of exceptional luck didn't come naturally; The Planet must have been looking out for him.

"This is awesome that we got to work together." Zack was saying happily to the SOLDIER next to him. "It's been forever since I remember doing any missions together."

"That's because you're only third class." The man said matter-o-factly. "Training recruits is one of the few things where all ranking SOLDIER's help out."

"Yeah, well. I bet that they don't bug Sephiroth to babysit cadets."

The man shrugged. "I don't mind, this is how we met, after all."

Cloud found himself hanging on every word despite the fact he was looking the other way. Zack looked different than Cloud remembered, younger, perhaps even more energetic then he had been then, his hair a little messier if that was somehow possible. The first class beside him was completely different. Instead of the boyish nativity that Zack radiated, this man seemed to have it together, calm and mature. He looked older then all of them, somewhere in his mid-twenties with sleek black hair that fell to his shoulders and a little bit of stubble on his chin. Cloud couldn't place him anywhere in his memories, which he didn't consider too odd as Zack had been his only real contact within SOLDIER.

"The pickings sure are slim this time around huh? Not many made it into Group A." Zack said, motioning to the cadets. "You guys must have worked hard to be here."

One of the cadets, an older boy with short red hair smirked. "Only three of us, sir. He wasn't selected for this group." This was said with a leer in Cloud's direction. Meeting the redheads gaze, Cloud gave him a glare that caused the boy to choke on the snicker that caught in his throat.

"Huh?" Zack asked, totally missing the silent exchange. "You're not Group A?"

"I was late." Cloud said quietly, well aware that everyone's attention was on him all of a sudden. "This was the only spot left."

After a short silence, the first class waved a hand in dismissal. "Well, don't fall behind." Cloud nodded, deciding he'd be able to prove himself well enough later. He knew he didn't look very promising, it would be a waste of breath to try to convince anyone with mere words instead of action.

Intense blue eyes were still focused entirely on him though, Zack's attention still fixed. When Cloud looked up, Zack smiled brightly, something Cloud did his best to return. Zack's eyes then flickered away from Cloud's for a moment, and Cloud realized belatedly that he was looking at First Sword.

"Hey, that's a pretty fancy blade you got there." Zack said, pointing. And once again, all eyes were on him, or more importantly, the sword that was a little awkward to explain away. Most cadets still used night sticks or practice swords that were divvied out amongst new recruits. If a cadet wished to use a different weapon provided by Shinra they had to receive training for it first, and there was nothing like First Sword provided by Shinra.

The remarkable blade even seemed to have caught the first classes attention.

"Do you even know how to use that thing?" The man inquired flatly.

"Hey, that's rude!" Zack chastised with an elbow to the man's arm. Cloud was silently thankful that Zack seemed just as protective of the little people as ever. "Of course he knows how to use it, he wouldn't be carrying it if he didn't." Cloud nodded his agreement.

"It's bigger than he is." The second cadet that said this was a boy with black hair with a white streak down the middle, reminding Cloud instantly of a skunk. That didn't stop him from glaring the boy into silence. His eerie eyes seemed to be quite effective at shutting people up.

"Enough, let's get down to business." The first classes commanding voice also seemed to be good at silencing everyone. "I am Angeal, first class SOLDIER, and this is Zack, third class. Today we are to be your instructors for this training exercise." He stopped to pull out a folder with the mission details, yet continued to hold everyone's attention, including Zacks.

"This was to be regular simulated training, however a mission popped up and it was decided that it would be used as cadet training. This will be the first real battle for you, but rest assured that there will be enough SOLDIER around to succeed wherever you fail."

Zack looked unnecessarily proud as he continued where Angeal had left off, going through a short speech that seemed to be rehearsed. "A small cave was located outside of Midgar, containing a vein of peculiarly strong mako. A research team went down to investigate, but it was infested with strong monsters that drove them out. Our mission is to clear the monsters and obtain a sample of the mako, perhaps even materia inside the cave, and bring it back to headquarters. You will be graded on your performance."

Zack took a deep breath, and Cloud almost smirked at how pleased the SOLDIER seemed to have not stuttered once. Zack may have been SOLDIER, but he was so innocently open he looked very much like a boy instead of a man.

Angeal pulled out a few copies of a map, passing a copy to each of the cadets. "Group A is in charge of the areas marked in red. Group B through D will be clearing the zones that the research department mapped out, removing monsters and setting up stations. Our group will be venturing further into the cave, where the research group was driven out. We will follow the mako vein to its source, and map out the area as we go. Any questions?"

The third cadet, a lanky, ordinary looking boy with cropped brown hair raised his hand. "So uh, what if there is a big monster deep inside or something?"

"Then it will be your mission to remove it." Angeal said easily, shaking his head slightly when the cadet paled at the thought. "There is a reason why two SOLDIER have been dispatched at your side."

"Yes sir!" The cadet said hastily, obviously comforted by the fact that there would be someone capable tagging along. There were, after all only four cadets, and one wasn't even properly qualified for the mission assigned.

Cloud looked down at his copy of the map, glancing at it from different angles. He didn't remember this cave, so there couldn't have been anything too important inside. This narrowed it down to being just a simple mission that would go as planned. Pleased, he leaned back and relaxed.

The rest of the ride was uneventful; Zack and Angeal seemed content to talk to each other, though Zack sometimes made an effort to include the cadets in it as well. But the three young men were concentrating on preparing for their missions. Angeal made Cloud feel uneasy, so he decided not to draw any more attention to himself and stayed quiet as well.

When they arrived at the drop off zone, the driver threw the doors to the back open, releasing them out into the sun. They were far enough out from Midgar that grass sprouted up from the ground, something Cloud hadn't remembered seeing in quite a long time. Hopping out of the truck he rolled his shoulders and adjusted his sheath to let it ride more comfortably on his back. He was still not used to the smaller size of his body.

He turned around to see Angeal and Zack stepping out of the truck and suddenly the first classes doubt of his ability to use First Sword was explained. On his back was the Buster Sword. Cloud immediately recognized it as the one he had used for most of his life, the sword that he had inherited from Zack. Zack was still only wearing a regulation Shinra hand out on his back, which meant...

Cloud sighed and turned to the rest of the cadets, realizing his history had just gotten a tad more complicated.

"So guys, what are your names? We aren't even properly introduced yet!" Zack said with enthusiasm, leading the two cadets as they wandered deep into the cave.

Early in their adventuring they had come to a fork in the path. Due to time constraints Angeal had split them into two teams, and Cloud had been quite pleased when he was assigned to Zack's team.

"I'm Ivan."

The quiet, third cadet had been assigned to their group as well. He showed great potential with magic, standing behind Zack and Cloud as they beat the monsters down, firing off deadly magic attacks. Between the three of them nothing lasted for more than a few seconds.

There had been some raised eyebrows and snickers when Cloud had first drawn his sword for battle, but after he sliced down multiple monsters before the other three cadets had finished with theirs, he had made it clear he wouldn't just be tagging along.

"Nice to meat you Ivan!" Zack said, before he glanced to Cloud. The blond was just about to speak, when a darkly coloured bat dropped from the ceiling of the cave on to Cloud's shoulder. Cloud was a little high strung, he would admit. Jumping in surprise he had casted a lightning spell on the unlucky creature before he even registered what it was. The brisk execution of the harmless monster earned him an odd look from both Zack and Ivan.

"I uh, don't like bats." He offered sheepishly, which earned him a laugh from Zack. "And my name is Cloud."

"Cloud? That's a nice name." Zack said with a heartfelt smile. Cloud had regained many more memories of Zack, of how protective and honourable he was. But somewhere along the lines, Cloud had forgotten what it was like to have someone be nice to him. Zack's smile left him with a warm feeling that had otherwise been lost in translation.

"That was a pretty powerful spell for an impulse cast." Ivan said quietly, drawing Zack's attention back to what had happened.

"Hey, yeah." Zack said, examining Cloud for a moment. "That was at least bolt2, how strong is your materia?"

When Cloud hesitated, Zack grinned and snatched up Cloud's wrist, examining the materia set into his arm band.

"Wow, this stuff is mastered." The brunet said with unabashed envy. "I just got cure2 a couple days ago and you've already got these mastered! Where'd you get stuff this powerful?"

Cloud had made a point to pick the most basic materia, but he had forgotten the minor problem that all the materia he had to choose from was mastered.

"It was passed down to me." Cloud said quietly, the most valid reason he could think of, and it was technically true. "I didn't have to train it much."

"And I bet your sword was given to you as well?" Ivan muttered, sighing when Cloud nodded. "If I could afford to get equipment like that I would be breezing through this too."

Cloud was about to say something his defence, but Zack cut in. "Nah, it takes a lot of training to use mastered spells and elite weapons. I'll be damned if the big spells don't drain everything I got, and weapons take a lot of skill and practice to use."

"He should have been in Group A to begin with." Ivan said sulkily. "It would be far less embarrassing."

Zack chuckled, but whipped around when he heard a growling from behind him. The three of them fell into battle stances as a wolf that seemed to blend with the shadows prowled towards them, bearing fearsome teeth and glowing red eyes. The three of them tore through it easily enough, the beast falling quickly to their combined assault.

"Haven't seen one of those before." Zack commented, and Cloud hummed his agreement.

They continued deeper into the cave, but every encounter after that seemed to get more and more difficult. The oddly shaped wolves where everywhere, becoming more powerful the further in they went. Cloud decided they were nearing the source of these monsters' power, probably the massive amounts of mako deep in this cave were mutating them and making them stronger.

Cloud's damage was very effective thanks to First Sword, but despite its newest enhancements his body was still not used to the abuse that it was taking from the fearsome wolves. He couldn't take much abuse without having to reach for a potion or cast cure.

They reached the end of a particularly cramped tunnel, suddenly spat out in a small cavern. They walked towards the middle of it, where mako had made the ground itself shimmer, but as they drew closer to the center they started to hear the scratching of claws against stone.

Wolves started to collect at the caverns entrance, seeming to appear right out of the shadows from every direction. When the large amount of wolves started their assault, the three of them started hacking through, beating them back. But for every wolf they killed, another one seemed to pop up.

Cloud's body was pushed hard as he faced four of the wolves himself, reaching for yet another hi-potion as he hacked through them. There were at least a dozen wolves running around them, driving them together and dodging attacks as they snapped and clawed at the three young men.

They suddenly broke out into a howl when a much larger, much meaner looking monster came forth from the shadows, obviously the alpha of this damned pack of wolves.

"I'm out of ethers." Ivan said unhappily as he swallowed the last one of his stash. He was draining his mana constantly firing off spells trying to keep the monsters at bay. Cloud paused after beheading a wolf that had been a little slow at dodging his sword, studying the cadet. Ivan was effective with magic, and it would reflect well in his grades. However without his spells he'd be reduced to beating melee on the wolves, which obviously wasn't his forte. Nobody had expected to encounter this many beasts at once, so Ivan's lack of preparation should not allow his grade to suffer so horribly.

It helped that Ivan hadn't mouthed off at him, either.

Reaching into his sheath's pocket Cloud broke off half his pack of ethers, handing them to the other cadet.

"Wow, thanks man." Ivan whispered, quickly pocketing them.

Zack was studying the scene, deciding their course of action. "I'll try to distract to distract the big one while you guys clear off these grunts, okay?" As he spoke, the alpha howled and more wolves materialized from the shadows around it, causing the SOLDIER to curse. Nothing like a monster with the ability to summon more of its kind.

Frowning, Zack shook his head. "Uh...Maybe we should call for backup then." He reached for the radio attached to his belt, but Cloud cut him off.

It would look horrible on their scores, and cast Zack in a bad light if they had to call in backup for a simple assignment. Cloud fumbled for the release on First Sword, sliding the separated blade into his other hand. "Just go for the alpha, it's the one spawning all these monsters anyways so if we kill it then we're home free."

Before anyone could argue, Cloud had picked his target. The all materia that he had junctioned flared to life as he cast. Ivan had been shocked at the medium grade magic cast at a single target, but his eyes had widened the size of saucers when Cloud's bolt3 struck every wolf in the large group.

A simultaneous yelp, followed by the reek of burnt fur and meat sounded as the wolves all died from the fatal shock. Perhaps a bolt2 would have sufficed...

"Well, that plan works too!" Zack said enthusiastically as he jumped into action, charging for the boss. The alpha howled to summon a helper, but the freshly spawned wolf was dispatched almost instantly by a fire spell from Ivan. Angry the beast snarled and attacked, but Zack and Cloud were both on it with drawn swords by that time.

Zack was taking most of the hits, enraging the beast enough with his sharp attacks that most of its attention was on him. Ivan casted repeated heal spells when the SOLDIER needed it, and Cloud put everything he had into beating down the boss.

With First Sword split he wasn't hitting as hard, but his attack speed had doubled with a blade in either hand. Being beat down fast, the wolf seemed to become more and more frustrated, the barrage of magic from the cadet that was out of reach only seeming to anger it more.

Snarling it suddenly switched targets, attacking Cloud fiercely and causing the blond to yelp as sharp teeth tore into his gut. He cast a cure3 quickly as the monster recharged for a second attack, stemming the blood flow substantially. The wolf was ready to attack again, but Cloud was prepared for it. Meeting it half way, the blond drew on his limit break, charging with omnislash but a breath away.

The impossibly fast barrage of attacks halted the monsters attack and drove it back into the ground, and when Cloud finally collapsed in an exhausted pile, there wasn't much of the beast left. Spluttering an angry howl it tried to make a clumsy retreat, but Ivan caught it with an ice spell that finished the creature off.

Panting Cloud drew himself from his crouched position, casting another cure3 to seal off the last of his wound. He was shaking slightly, but when Zack examined him everything seemed to be in order. "Well, that worked out well." Zack said, patting Cloud on the shoulder and giving Ivan a thumbs up, which the cadet returned after swallowing another ether.

Zack reached for his radio again, but this time there was a blissful look on his face as he did so. "Hey, Angeal. We cleared the source of the monsters on our end. How are you guys doing?"

Angeal's voice fed back through the radio, loud enough that they could all hear. "Nothing exciting. We've located the mako's source, and secured a materia sample to bring back to headquarters. Mission successful, head back to the entrance."

Ivan looked gleeful at that, a successful mission like this would look outstanding on his record, things were looking up.

"That was awesome!" Zack said triumphantly as he bounded towards the entrance. "You guys did great!"

Ivan made a note to smile at Cloud as well. "The others were wrong about you, Cloud. You're really something." He said with a respectful tone. The praise made Cloud uncomfortable for some reason, so he only nodded, looking away from the boy's honest expression as he muttered out a "Thanks."

There were no other incidents as they walked back to the entrance. Zack and Ivan walked side by side, talking cheerfully about nothing in particular as Cloud brought up the rear, trailing behind. His body wasn't used to the exertion, especially not after such a tiring night. Frustrated with his weakness he knew he had a lot of training ahead of him, yet he was somewhat satisfied that he had managed to make it through the entire mission despite it all.

When they reached the surface, everyone else was already there waiting. Groups of wide-eyed cadets talked amongst themselves, excitedly babbling about their first mission. There was a slight commotion near the Group A truck that caught Cloud's eye, though.

The first smartass cadet from the truck was laid out on a stretcher, a medic wrapping his leg in a splint while it seemed his head had already received similar treatment, judging from the bandages.

"Woah, what happened?" Zack exclaimed as he got close, seeing Angeal standing next to the cadet with a grim look on his face. "You said there hadn't been any problems!"

Angeal growled. "There hadn't been." The annoyance was clear in his voice and the cadet on the stretcher winced. "Until the kid decided to show off with a quake spell. I'll be damned if it didn't cause a small cave in right on top of us. I threw up barrier but the stupid..." He trailed off with a sigh. "How did your show offs fair?"

Zack grinned, punching the air energetically. "Not a problem! Both these guys show a shitload of potential."

Angeal nodded, glancing back to the cadet on the stretcher as he was carried away by the medics, his skunk-haired friend trailing behind with a concerned expression. After a pause his attention drew back to Cloud. "So I suppose there's more to him than meets the eye." He said flatly.

The blond didn't falter, despite the fact that he wanted to shrug off those prying eyes and ease away from the scene. Zack grinned as he turned to face Cloud, reaching out and ruffling the blond's hair good naturedly. "Awh, but that wouldn't take much." Cloud was ready to protest when Zack continued. "He'll bulk up, just you wait. I got a good feeling about this one!" Unsure of how to react, Cloud remained silent.

"I guess we'll see." Angeal said with a light grin and Zack's behaviour, turning to the truck. "Alright then, let's get these kids home."

"Hey Spike, wake up we're back at Shinra, sleepyhead." Cloud snapped to attention, blushing slightly when he realized that he had dozed off on the ride back. It was only Ivan and Cloud that rode back with the two SOLDIER, as the two other cadets had been taken back in the medics truck. The other three seemed to be content speaking with each other and somewhere along the lines Cloud had leaned back and relaxed, perhaps a little too much.

Zack was hovering over him, waiting for him to get out of the truck. Cloud stood hastily, sliding out of the back easily. Zack seemed to have boundless energy, hopping down and rolling his shoulders easily. Angeal had already run off for something that seemed official, and Ivan had gone to celebrate. "Was just resting a bit."

"Ha, you slept in, didn't you?" Zack's grin softened the playful accusation. "That's why you were late! But don't worry, I would have never woken up if Angeal hadn't dragged me out of bed."

Cloud shook his head, finding himself smiling lightly anyways. "No, I just didn't sleep very well last night." Zack's curiosity seemed peaked so Cloud continued. "I think I had a bit of a bug yesterday, I wasn't feeling very good."

Shrugging it off, Cloud started walking towards the loading bay's exit. "I heard something was going around, thought you looked a little pale but you're pretty damn fair to begin with I think." Cloud nodded lightly in agreement, deciding he'd rather not list the symptoms of mako poisoning that he had experienced.

"So uh, Cloud. Want to go out for drinks?" Zack inquired out of the blue, which made the blond pause.

"Eh?"

"Drinks! And maybe some food too, I'm starving and I hate eating alone." Cloud tilted his head.

"What kind of drinks?" The question itself just seemed so odd.

Zack stopped his light swaying, seeming to be thinking very hard on his answer. "You know, I never thought about it. Nobody's ever said yes when I ask." It wasn't the idea of going out to eat with him, but the odd way he sometimes phrased his invites that made people raise an eyebrow.

Cloud shook his head, not quite sure what to think. "You're buying." He muttered, but that didn't seem to faze Zack at all.

"Kay then, let's go get those drinks."


	4. Chapter 4  Just a Kid

**Chapter 4 - Just a Kid**  
_I present this chapter in shame that it took so long to write...this._

Out for drinks wasn't what Cloud had expected. He wasn't particularly sure what he had in mind, but a crowded cafeteria filled to the brink was not it. Hungry cadets had poured in from training, along with unassigned SOLDIER and Shinra staff. People were crowded throughout the room, eating, chatting, and generally raising a ruckus. It was easily the most people Cloud had been exposed to since he had appeared, and that set him on edge.

Cloud followed Zack to the counter, wary not to bump into anyone as he did so. Those who ran into him despite his efforts drew away quickly after muttering apologies. Despite his diminutive size and gentle appearance, there was an aura around him that set people on edge. His eyes made people even less apt to stick around.

Except Zack, of course.

There wasn't room for both of them at the crowded till, so Zack ordered for both of them after grilling Cloud on what he wanted. The dark haired SOLDIER seemed totally unbothered by the chaos around him, instead seeming to thrive there. People stopped to greet him, smiled at him or even waved at him from across the room. His ease seemed to offset some of Cloud's utter jumpiness.

He knew this was going to happen, that he would have problems in large crowds of people. He had become accustomed to very few civilians living around him, only battle hardened soldiers that were ready to face their deaths. There was much guilt flowing through him knowing that the SOLDIER next to him had died due to his incompetence, but knowing that these large packs of people were eventually wiped out caused the guilt to become overpowering.

"You okay Cloud? You're looking kind of queasy." Zack said as he pressed the blond's tray into his hands. Cloud nodded.

"I'm fine. Just need some air."

"Come on, we'll go eat in the courtyard, there's less people there." Cloud knew that Zack had no problem with the people around them, which meant he was purposefully going to where Cloud would feel most comfortable. The thoughtfulness was not something Cloud was used to.

Though a lot of people had moved outside to enjoy the pleasant weather while they ate, it was far less packed. Still, Zack led them to the edge of the courtyard, settling at one of the most out of the way tables.

The courtyard was really just an oversized balcony off the side of the Shinra building. Grass had been put down along with several trees, the view overlooking Midgar. It wasn't exactly picnic material, but it was a pleasant change from the Shinra standard.

As they sat down, Cloud's eyes were drawn to the cliffs he had been at only the night before. Dragging his train of thought from the painful direction it was headed, Cloud let his mind focus on Zack. While watching the man brought back memories just as painful as the others, there was a warmth that radiated from the other man that kept the pain at bay. Zack was still alive, and Cloud would do his damndest to keep it that way.

"So Cloud," Zack said, breaking Cloud out of his thoughts after a respectable silence. "I haven't seen you around before. You must be new, 'cos someone as skilled as you, well, I would have heard of you before." Zack laughed as he attacked his burger hungrily. Cloud was still quietly drinking the lemonade he had ordered.

Cloud nodded. "I haven't been here long. Today was my first training mission."

Zack grinned, setting down his burger to optimize the amount of gestures he used as he spoke. "I remember cadet training being a pain in the ass. Lots of boring classes and not much action, but I guess a little important stuff." Zack grinned and tapped his temple. "And they drill as much of that into your head as possible." Cloud nodded quietly, picking at his fries. "You're in training the entire time you're in Shinra. Until you hit first class SOLDIER, then you're pretty much at the top and then _you_ start teaching _others_ stuff, but only if you feel like it." Zack's talkativeness balanced Clouds silence.

"So where are you from?"

"Nibelheim." Cloud answered, unsurprised at the totally blank expression Zack had in return. "It's a small town in the country."

Zack grinned, "Ah, a country boy! Well that'd explain it, you don't get the skill you have beating up training robots or slum rats. Though you don't really look that rural either." Cloud caught on to what Zack meant, remembering what the chocobo-man who had given him a ride said. '_Too clean, too slight. Damn a kid like you wouldn't last a minute_.' Zack knew that there was more to him then met the eye, so Cloud didn't feel compelled to defend himself.

"Where are you from?" He already knew, but it seemed the polite thing to ask.

"Gongaga. Another small town, in a forest though, always loved it there." Zack shared the information happily as he ate.

"So why did you come to Midgar?" Zack was too naïve, too innocent for Midgar and Shinra, he would have been safer staying in the small town that he loved. It had been by chance that Zack had become so wrapped up with everything that had happened, if he had stayed away from it all to begin with...

"To live out my dream! This is the best way to become a hero!" Zack had passed that dream onto him when he had died, leaving a legacy for Cloud had tried, and eventually failed, to continue.

"And you Cloud? Why do you want to be in SOLDIER?" Cloud's answers were too complicated, so he fell back to the reasons of his past, his first reasons for coming to the city of mako.

"Because of some special people in my life." Zack tilted his head to the side, curious for Cloud to continue. "My mother, and, a girl that I like." Cloud nearly winced at the thought of Tifa, but he forced himself not to dwell on it. "I want to be someone they can take pride in."

They fell into silence for a little longer, and Cloud glanced up to see that Zack was still watching him intently.

"You have the most awesome eyes, Cloud." Zack finally breathed, leaning up to reach for his soda. "They're like SOLDIER eyes, only brighter almost." Zack seemed to think on this for a moment, and Cloud _did_ wince when he asked. "But, you haven't had any mako treatments?" The brunet trailed off, obviously wanting Cloud to fill in the blanks.

"I don't remember how, exactly." Cloud muttered, nervously playing with the straw in his lemonade. "I went exploring in the mountains and came across a pool of mako, a by-product of the reactor. I got too close and ended up passing out. When I woke up it was a couple weeks later, everyone was sure I'd die from mako poisoning." Cloud shrugged, the lie was the best he could come up with and it left him too much of a victim for someone to press the issue. "My eyes were like this ever since."

"Mako poisoning huh? That's pretty dangerous. But you know, Shinra has a lot of scientists and stuff, you could see them, find out what happened and all that." Zack suggested proudly, taking another bite out of the bare remains of his burger.

"I...could." Even the fleeting thought of a Shinra laboratory studying him made Cloud feel panicky. "But some things are better left unknown."

Zack was examining a discoloured patch on his hamburger bun before he tore into it anyways. "Well, that's your choice, right?" He said cheerfully as he swallowed. "You still were really something on that mission though. You were so together. Battle doesn't come so easily for most cadets."

Cloud ducked his head modestly, finishing off his drink. "Well, I still need a lot more training." That was the truth, his body was so far behind his state of mind it would take a lot of dedication and training to get it caught up again.

"Yeah, that can be hard, especially with the cadet training program being so unwilling to throw you guys out there where you can get some real experience." Zack thought for a moment. "You know, there's always the training center. Anyone SOLDIER class and up has access to it, it's really the best way to train."

Cloud tilted his head to the side, having a clue where Zack was going with this but not wanting to interrupt and possibly ruin it.

"If you think you could handle it, which you probably could, I'm going to be training there tomorrow night. You could tag along and try it out yourself, see how it works for you?"

Cloud's eyes widened slightly and he nodded. "That would be amazing." Being able to kick back and just kill things for extended periods of time, whenever he wanted, sounded like a blessing. When he dropped into battle stance, everything in his mind cleared, and for a while he was free of memories and stress. He wanted more of that. "You don't have to if you'll get in trouble, but...wow. Thanks a lot."

"Nah, it won't be a problem. We're friends right?" Cloud's stunned expression made Zack grin more. "Hey! It's not like I couldn't be friends with someone who looks so adorable in an MP uniform, right?"

The rest of their lunch was finished with meaningless chat that made Cloud feel lighter somehow. When they finished and Zack had to leave, Cloud found himself eagerly awaiting the morrow, when he could spend more time with Zack

It had been a long time since Cloud had looked forward to anything.

The day's events had drained Cloud's energy miserably, which proved that he hadn't fully recovered from anything yet. He returned to his dorm earlier then he had originally wanted, but was pleased to find that he didn't feel near as trapped, near as isolated as he usually did in the small room.

The whispers of the lifestream were hushed, pressed into the background for a while, leaving Cloud with only his own thoughts. After a shower he pulled on a pair of pants and crawled into bed, feeling contemplative.

He was becoming utterly pliant, simply rolling with everything that came his way. It was better to bend than to break, yet Cloud had bent so much he wasn't sure if he could right himself again. There was too much pain and fear regarding what was lost, but the future was becoming clearer as he focused on it.

Zack Fair was only a third class SOLDIER, which gave Cloud a clue to the time line he had been given. There was a moderate amount of time to stop the shit from hitting the proverbial fan, but he couldn't afford to lose focus. There was no room for the insanity threatening to creep into his mind. He had been given a wonderful opportunity to train his body for what was to come, and he would have to take full advantage of it. He had to be ready for anything in a very short period of time.

Just what he was going to do, and how he was going to do it escaped him. But he knew that he needed to be stronger in order to deal with everything that he would face.

How much would it take? How much damage would have to be prevented for The Planet to be safe, for his final mission to be completed? What had ultimately killed the planet was what swirled in the lifestream, burning it like poison. Were Shinra's Mako reactors killing the planet? Surely he wouldn't be necessary to stop those. It struck Cloud as kind of funny, how they had fought against Shinra for destroying the planet, in comparison to what had been the real threat.

AVALANCHE could be used by The Planet if need be. A sinking feeling washed over Cloud as he thought about the blown reactors, sector seven being crushed by the plate. Would that future be changed? Would he have to end the Shinra regime? As he felt madness slowly creeping into his mind he steeled himself, closing his eyes tightly as he curled himself into a ball beneath the shelter of the bed covers.

No, there wasn't enough of him left to relive everything. He could only do so much, so the world and his former friends would have to deal with their problems themselves.

He would meet Zack the next night, he would become stronger, and he would remove the biggest threats to The Planets survival. It was easier to focus on those things, easier to concentrate on the bigger picture than sweat the details. Thinking about the meeting with Zack calmed his nerves. The older boy had such a cheerful energy that it wasn't possible to remain unaffected. He was so naïve, so trusting and willing to help.

So willing to give everything, to save someone else.

Cloud forced his emotions to stay neutral as a feeling of guilt threatened to consume him. Zack never would have died if he had not known Cloud. If he had not been so willing to give everything to save the blond, surely _something_ would be different, surely the brunet wouldn't have ended up dead. If nothing else, he could have died a respectable death, a death more fitting to the amazing creature he was. Would it be safer to stay away from Zack? If he kept himself out of the picture, Zack would be able to live his life happily, follow his dreams and become the hero he always wanted to be.

But already, Cloud had become attached. He felt lighter when he was with Zack. Perhaps it was selfish of him, but Cloud wasn't willing to give up that feeling. If Cloud did well enough, everything would go smoothly, and Zack would continue to live out his life happily. Cloud was sure he could touch this part of his old life without contaminating it with what he had become. When the time came, he would leave – and Zack would remain as clueless and innocent as a SOLDIER could possibly be, never knowing what had once happened, or what could have been.

Cloud didn't feel like thinking any longer, so he finally gave in to his physical exhaustion, and let sleep take over his thoughts.

Several things had gone wrong throughout the next day, yet Cloud had retained a positive outlook by the time he was to meet with Zack. His body had been sorely unforgiving for what Cloud had put it through recently, and because of such he had slept in and missed his first two classes.

Following that, there were two exams that Cloud had completely forgotten about. Despite the fact he knew the material, he was agitated that yet another thing had crept up on him.

There was just enough time to dump his books in his room before he had to run to the training center. Haphazardly he had thrown some basic materia into a fully assembled First Sword. There was no time to consider, but he was confident that whatever graced him during training would be within his ability.

Zack was standing outside of the entrance when Cloud arrived, the sword strapped to his back the only sign he wasn't loitering there like the teenage hellion he appeared to be. It was hard to think of Zack as his elder when the older boy was so open with his emotions.

Zack waved Cloud over as soon as he caught sight of him, promptly ignoring Cloud's apologies for keeping him waiting. "Glad you made it, I wasn't waiting long at all." He greeted while sliding his card into the training center's lock.

"Man that thing is even more impressive then the last time I remember seeing it." Zack said as they entered the training room, causing Cloud to glance back at the sword he had sheathed. "It's different."

"All the pieces..." Cloud said quietly, pulling it from its sheath and holding it loosely at his side. "It's fully assembled with all the pieces together."

Zack, despite his age and rank, was too curious to resist. He stopped sorting through the VR equipment and scooted over to Cloud to examine the sword closer. Cloud decided he'd probably be just as curious in Zack's shoes, just more subtle about it.

"Damn you've got even more mastered materia in it too." Zack said with slight awe as he spotted the colourful spheres in the hilt of First Sword. "That's impressive for a cadet."

Cloud shrugged it off, deciding not to draw much more attention to it. "So what do you have planned for us?"

Zack caught the gentle call for a subject change, rolling with it. "Basic training will be best to test you out on. Some of these courses are pretty intense, they'd make what we faced in the cave look like the teddy bear picnic." He laughed. Sensing Cloud's unworried confidence, he grinned and grabbed two of the VR visors, handing one to Cloud and taking one for himself. Pulling out his PHS, he allowed it to connect to the network, flipping through the VR training options that appeared after he logged on.

"I only have access to a few of the courses anyways, for the more advanced ones..." Zack trailed off and never bothered to continue after he started the training session. He pulled on the visor, and Cloud promptly followed suit.

"At your level this will be good experience, if nothing else."

The experience he gained throughout normal cadet classes was pitiful at best, so he was glad to take advantage of this opportunity to grind some quick levels. It was far more convenient than sneaking out into Midgar's outskirts to hunt monsters. The slim pickings there was nothing compared to the large range of monsters the VR training provided.

Cloud tightened his grip on First Sword, slipping into a battle stance as their training session began.

It was late into the evening by the time Zack pulled off the VR visor with a heavy breath. Cloud followed suit shortly after, panting as heavily as Zack was, if not more. Their bodies had been pushed to their limits during the intense training spree, having run far more than just the simple missions Zack had originally planned. Zack's strength combined with Cloud's speed and magic ability made them a very capable team, accomplishing every mission they ran.

Zack flopped onto the floor with an exaggerated groan, setting his visor down next to him. "Well, that was harder than anything Angeal's ever put me through." He said with a light laugh, though it cut into a wince when he disrupted something very tender in his side.

Absently Cloud cast a cure spell as soon as he noticed the wince, superficially wiping away the other boys aches and pains.

"Thanks." Zack said, rolling his shoulders, blissfully acknowledging the thoroughness of Cloud's magic. After training beside it, he was a little more used to Cloud's uncanny ability with the materia he possessed.

Cloud set his visor down next to Zack, before he straightened and stretched his exhausted muscles. "No Zack, thank you. I really needed this."

Zack laughed and nodded, waving his hand in dismissal. "You must have popped up at least four levels. I told you the experience would be better."

"Close to five." Cloud said, deciding not to clarify that he needed more than just the experience.

"Well make sure you get a lot of rest tonight, and take a hot bath or something. Don't strain yourself too much, alright?" Cloud nodded and Zack beamed his approval. "You were amazing, though." Zack said, suddenly scrambling to his feet to stand in front of Cloud. "You can handle yourself fine, and I know you'll want to do this again but I'm not sure I could take it. So I'll give you my code, then you can use your handset to access the training center any time you want."

Cloud dumbly nodded, handing his PHS to Zack when the brunet demanded it, watching as Zack transferred the information. "You're serious?" Zack nodded, and Cloud couldn't even find the words to express what he wanted to say. Instead he just smiled. It was an ill-used smile, yet heartbreakingly honest. "Thank you Zack, you have no idea how much it means."

Zack returned the smile, and was about to say something when his pager went off. He glanced down, and when he saw _Hewley_ printed across the miniature devices screen, he winced. "Dammit, I'm way late."

Cloud accepted his phone back, watching Zack. "Go, I'll clean up here."

Zack bowed his thanks quickly, before he darted to the door.

Cloud broke out of his daze a few minutes after Zack had left, glancing at his phone which was now logged in with Zack's information. He glanced down at the VR visors on the floor, and after a quick debate he picked one up, thumbing through the new options available to him.

One more run wouldn't hurt.

Angeal's words of greeting when Zack entered the apartment were "You're late."

Slipping past the larger man, Zack shook his head as the door was closed. "Sorry about that." Zack apologized, kicking off his shoes and setting down his sword. Angeal nodded at the apology, moving into the apartment's kitchen.

"I figured you wanted to skip your weekly helping of real food, so I didn't save anything for you." The main informed, looking back to meet Zack's gaze evenly. When the young man wilted at the news, he grinned. "But there are some leftovers in the microwave for you."

"Awesome, thanks!" Zack perked up, scooting to the microwave to set the food to reheat. "I'm starving. I didn't mean to run overtime, I was just training and got kind of caught up in it."

Angeal laughed as he opened the fridge to find something to drink. "Surely you can come up with a better excuse than that." The alternatives were low, and Angeal made a mental note to do some grocery shopping soon. Picking out one of the few bottles of beer left, Angeal took one out for Zack as well, setting it on the counter beside the microwave.

"No, I'm serious. I was training." Zack argued, accepting the beer as he pulled his food from the microwave, also taking the cutlery that Angeal set out next to it.

Zack had learned early in his training that Angeal was an excellent cook. The frugal man didn't like spending money on take out or restaurants, even though he could afford it with a Shinra salary. Instead, he would make his own meals from scratch. Zack dubbed this 'real food', unlike anything he had found in Midgar, and even better than his mother's cooking although he would never tell her that.

After enough whining, Angeal had caved into letting Zack come over every week for supper, something that Zack looked forward to for more reasons than just the food.

After the meal, Zack would stick around. They would talk about various things, play cards, and drink a little before Zack would go home, recharged for the hell that was Angeal's training program throughout the week.

One such night they did a little more than drink a little, and in their alcoholic haze they had done something that seriously changed the nature of these dinner nights to come, along with their entire relationship in general.

At first Angeal had wanted to cancel these nights all together, draw them back on track to a strictly professional relationship. Zack wouldn't hear of it, and now, well... Their weekly supper was pretty much expected to be less than professional.

Still, it was Zack who stressed the importance of these suppers, he felt bad for showing up late. Angeal seemed to pick up on this, yet couldn't help the curiosity that made him want to know what his puppy had been up to.

"It's not like you to stay focused so long." Angeal commented lightly, as he led the two of them to the living room. Zack set his food down on the coffee table before slumping into the couch, pleased when Angeal sat down far more gracefully beside him.

"I know, I know." Zack rolled his eyes, digging into his meal with feverish hunger. "But it _is_ like my training partner."

"Kunsel?"

"No, Cloud." Zack answered. He had grabbed his bottle of beer and twisted off the cap, yet when he took a small drink of it he winced. It was an acquired taste that Zack was still in the process of acquiring.

"Training with Cloud?" When Zack nodded, Angeal sighed. He moved to the far end of the couch, lifting up his feet so he was stretched out comfortably next to Zack. "So let me get this straight," He was unable to hold back his smirk at Zack's guilty look. "You were late because you were training, no doubt using the VR simulator, with an unauthorized cadet that has barely began his formal training?"

Zack attempted to explain around a forkful of mashed potatoes, but when it came out illegible he swallowed and tried again. "We weren't doing anything horrible, we were just training! We figured if he couldn't handle it we wouldn't do anything advanced. He was more than capable." He tried to sound determined, yet it ended sheepish.

Angeal didn't say anything for a short period of time. Zack tensed when he felt magic being cast on him, but immediately relaxed when he realized it was just Scan. "Congrats on level 40." Angeal said, before he groaned. "I suppose you ran that mission as well?"

Zack didn't even consider lying. "As soon as we unlocked it." Angeal remained silent and Zack finally set down his plate, already nearly devoid of food. "I swear, Cloud jumped a bunch of levels. I really think he just needs to train, and I can help him with that, right?"

Angeal understood Zack's will to help someone grow, as Zack was much the same with him. But Zack's sudden interest in the odd cadet was worrisome. It was obvious there was something off about Cloud, and Zack's openness and naivety made him very exploitable, he couldn't help but feel protective.

"Why the sudden will to help?" Angeal asked, watching Zack as the brunet tried to come up with an answer.

"Dunno, he showed a lot of potential I guess. But there's just something about him."

"Something about him, huh? Funny, I was thinking the same thing." Angeal repeated cryptically, as he relaxed deeper into the sofa.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Zack asked, attempting to take another, feeble, drink of his beer.

"It means he's odd. He stands apart from the rest of his class, yet things don't explain themselves and his file doesn't add up."

Zack paused, before he made a move. Angeal's comfortable sprawl across the couch was far too inviting to pass up. Sliding up Angeal's body lightly, Zack made himself comfortable by wedging himself between the couch and Angeal's side. If the older man noticed the bony elbow jabbing into his side a few times, he didn't say anything. Instead he just leaned over to make more room, letting an arm slide underneath the brunet to lock around his waist.

"So why were you snooping through his file?" Zack asked coyly, resting his head against Angeal's shoulder.

"I wasn't snooping. I had to turn in a report, remember? I needed to check his statistics to fill it out. I was just curious when I glanced through his record."

Zack sighed. "Well, I know there's something strange about him. But I don't think he's threatening, I think he's just an amazing student and we're just over speculating."

"He's an amazing student that's fifteen years old. He wields a sword that's nearly twice his size, not to mention completely independent of any Shinra distribution or training. You've seen his skill in battle, yet he's only been in Shinra for a few months, and he didn't report any formal training before he came here."

"Well, he's from the country?"

"You don't get those stats from beating up malboros."

Zack hadn't thought to Scan cloud, but Angeal thought ahead. He had probably scanned all the cadets in the truck before he had even started. Perhaps that's why Angeal hadn't been worried about Cloud's presence in Group A.

"Well, maybe he's hiding something. But does it matter? He's on our side, and it's not like you to be so suspicious."

Angeal stopped, and after a long silence he sighed. Lifting a hand to his forehead he gently massaged a temple. He knew he was being paranoid, but Cloud set off alarm bells. He was an unknown threat and he didn't want to take any chances with Zack's safety. Strife could be nothing unusual, but he highly doubted it.

"I guess I've just been on edge the past few days. There have been some things bothering me."

Zack squirmed around so that he was able to look at Angeal, suddenly all concern. "Things?" Zack asked, before he lowered his head to brush his lips against the older man's throat.

"Nothing serious." Angeal shook his head, knowing that Zack was imagining worst case scenarios already. "Just, haven't been sleeping well." Zack relaxed visibly, but didn't stop caressing the tendons in Angeal's neck with his lips.

"Maybe you're just not tired enough when you're going to bed." Zack offered with a sly grin.

Angeal knew why he wasn't sleeping well, but it seemed strange to talk about something as silly as dreams. Instead, he allowed his mind to fall to the gutter and follow Zack's train of thought.

"I bet I could help with that." Zack said with a wink.

"I was hoping you would." Angeal grinned. Zack took that as an invitation, and with some awkward movements, slid himself up from Angeal's side, to lightly straddling the other man's waist. Angeal's hands moved of their own accord, running across Zack's waist, before tucking themselves under the younger man's shirt, running across the smooth skin below.

That earned a small hiss from Zack, ticklish muscles rippling as he squirmed under those light, teasing hands. Zack's skin was so sensitive to touch, Angeal gained immense pleasure through teasing touches, watching the boys squirm until he couldn't take it anymore.

Zack knew well of Angeal's love to tease him as well. With a smile he lowered himself down, letting his hands slide across the fabric of Angeal's shirt to rub at a strong chest. Lips found Angeal's chin, brushing across the stubble line on Angeal's jaw, before finally lifting and ensnaring Angeal's lips in a kiss.

When they separated, thoughts of teasing were replaced with those of want and need. Both men were panting, and pants were tighter than usual. The light touches evolved to a flurry of movement. Clothing was dragged away, thrown away from the bodies that were both needy for more contact. When pants were tugged down enough to free aching arousals, Zack was quick to slide his need against Angeal's, moaning at the pleasure it sparked.

Angeal let Zack act on his own, the boy rubbing eagerly until skin became slick, his weeping member a testament to his furious arousal.

With a moan at the sight, Angeal's hands found Zack's hips. Still there was something nagging at him as he pressed himself harder against Zack, and suddenly those hands tightened their grip, preventing Zack from thrusting.

"Zack, I want you to be careful around Cloud."

Zack's noise was one of frustration and need, pressing hard into Angeal's hands to try and regain friction. "_Angeal_." He finally hissed, his voice betraying the same fierce desire that Angeal was holding on to. "Now is_ not_ the time to be worrying about that." He whined, leaning down to press his lips against Angeal's chest.

It didn't earn him release, instead Angeal squeezed Zack's hips hard enough to attract the boy's attention. "I'm serious Zack." When the younger SOLDIER got the point and stilled his needy movements, Angeal's hands slid from hips to cheeks, cupping Zack's face in his hands carefully. Zack responded by leaning forward to rest his sweaty forehead against Angeal's. "Don't let your guard down. Even if he isn't a threat, there's more to him than he's letting on, and you don't want to risk getting caught up in something until you know what it is he's hiding."

Zack sighed, closing the bare gap between their lips to press a kiss to Angeal's. "If it's so important, then I'll be careful." Angeal hummed his approval, and Zack pressed another kiss to those lips. "But he's a nice kid, polite and sensible. He's also a _great_ training partner and you're always bitching about how I don't train enough."

Angeal smirked, knowing that the gentle accusation was quite true, and he was completely unapologetic for it. "You don't have to ignore him, just keep an eye on him."

When he was sure Zack had gotten the message, Angeal moved. It was a quick switch in position, and before Zack was entirely sure what was going on he had been flipped underneath the older SOLDIER. Reacting, Zack's legs spread to allow Angeal a more comfortable position over top of him, sliding one up around the other man's waist to make himself more accessible for oncoming activities.

"Now, pup. Do your job. I want to sleep well tonight."


	5. Chapter 5  Dreams of Ghosts

**Chapter 5 - Dreams of Ghosts**  
The tent wasn't completely waterproof. Cloud had discovered this during the first rain storm, and unfortunately for him, it seemed to rain a lot in this area. His nights were spent moving his cot around to dodge the various leaks as they popped up, and finally giving up to attempt uncomfortable sleep as the cot's fabrics soaked with water.

He had been assigned to a mission south of Junon, along with a small group of other worthy SOLDIER candidates. It didn't come as much of a surprise, even though Cloud hadn't been training half the time the other's had been. A small group of Wutaian insurgence had invaded Junon and retained some delicate Shinra information. They were sent to track this group down and reclaim the documents. It hadn't been as easy as they would have liked. Instead of leaving through the harbour, they had set out south of Junon, leading Cloud's squad on a wild goose chase.

The days were tiring and mostly uneventful. Incompetence of others had made the few run-ins a series of near misses, and their group just wasn't moving fast enough to keep up.

However during the entire mission Cloud had found his mind elsewhere. One could blame the lack of sleep, brought on by leaky equipment, but Cloud was sure that lack of sleep was more of a symptom for something else entirely.

His dreams were haunted, to the point where he was somewhat afraid to sleep. Afraid of what, he was not sure, but the pain he experienced during these dreams was so unexplainable, and so absolute, that he would wake up holding back screams.

Lack of sleep, brought on by fear of sleep, was an intelligent diagnosis.

Despite the fact that the leader of the small group had almost gotten them all horribly lost, they could still hear the crash of underbrush that signalled that the Wutaian group was ahead. They had skipped a night of sleep to gain some extra ground, and had nearly tripped across their quarry when they stumbled across their encampment. In the confusion the scuffle had caused, a couple of Wutian soldiers had slipped away, taking the needed documents with them.

Cloud and three others were sent after them. They followed them into a the woods, and were now playing a serious game of hide and seek. It was more than frustrating for the blond, following someone who was clearly incompetent but unable to do anything about it in the name of following orders. Failure to detain their targets would probably lead to the failure of the mission in general, which would not look good on any of their records.

They came to the bank of a shallow, fast moving river. They had been lagging behind bad enough that they were out of earshot, and wouldn't have been able to hear anything over the rush of water anyways. There was, however, a lot of blood scattered over the bank. One of the soldiers they were chasing had been wounded, the trail of blood he was leaving testifying that they had been in this area.

"Uh, I think they went this way." He said, pointing up the riverbank. Cloud was almost positive that a fear of water had more of an influence on the man's decision then the obvious clues that the Wutai soldiers had gone across the river. Especially since there were obvious marks gracing the far river bank, where running men had scrambled out of the water.

"No, across." He finally snapped, stepping ahead of the group to move to the edge of the river. "It's shallow, we can wade across no problem." And with that, he hopped off the short ledge into the water. His uniform was still damp from his tent leaking on it, so the additional moisture wasn't a problem.

"Hey, wait! I'm the leader!" The man was really more of a boy, barely eighteen, but determined to prove himself. Cloud's very presence in the entire exercise cast a stark shadow on them all. On top of his attitude, well, the blonds' efforts to make the mission a success were not taken the right way.

"And it's your leadership that will cost us the mission if you fail to make the right decisions. And I just told you the right decision." It was a carefully worded reply, as Cloud knew that insubordination would cost him. It also made his point, and the man nodded, singling the other member of their troop to jump in as well.

The river was extremely fast flowing in the middle, knocking Cloud around as it pleased as the blond forced his way through. Behind him, Cloud heard loud curses as the fast moving water swept the leader of their troop off his feet. Cloud was soaked through to his waist by the time he pulled himself up onto the bank, weighed down by all the water.

A series of curses in front of him, instead of behind, brought Cloud's attention back to the task assigned. The targets could get away, and as he looked back he saw the other two cadets he was with stumble and trip through the water, one supporting the leader who had apparently hurt his ankle when he had fallen. Practically growling to himself, Cloud weighed his options before he made his decision. Unwilling to risk the mission, he gave up on waiting and went ahead, creeping through the trees to find the soldier's who couldn't be far away.

He found the two Wutaians in a small clearing. One man was leaning, only half conscious, against a tree, bleeding from several places and apparently his trip across the river had left him in a far worse condition, several scrapes from where he had fallen and been pushed around by the water visible. The other man was attempting to revive him, when Cloud stepped forward into the clearing, First Sword drawn.

Attention was pulled to him almost immediately, as the Wutian spat his distaste and immediately drew a hand gun from his hip. Cloud barely pulled First Sword in front of him fast enough to deflect the bullets as the soldier emptied a clip on him, and he quickly decided that fatigue was slowing his reflexes badly.

Lunging he didn't give the man to reload, a rough collision of First Sword and the man's arm disarming him and probably breaking a couple bones. Recovering from impact, Cloud drew back into a defensive stance. "I'll be taking the documents back." Cloud announced. "If you value your life, I suggest you give them willingly."

Whether or not the man fully understood him, he was unwilling to comply so easily. Drawing a knife he lunged towards Cloud, meeting First Sword's blade in a small scuffle.

Cloud was unwilling to pitch his strength against another at this time, so drawing from the power of equipped materia, he cast Ultima. His hand made contact with the man's ribs as he pushed the spell towards him, and the scream satisfied Cloud that the man was no longer a threat.

The soon-to-be-corpse fell to the ground, panting heavily as Cloud easily disarmed him of remaining weapons, searching the man until he turned up the small bundle of discs that contained the needed data. Straightening up, he barely caught the gleam in the man's eye, before he felt something sharp stinging into the back of his neck.

Whirling around, he saw the other heavily injured Wutain lower an oddly shaped gun, and Cloud jerked his hand to his neck to pull out a colourful dart. He cursed as he felt poison start to burn into his skin where the dart had connected, and slight confusion overwhelmed him as he heard a crashing in the trees.

With a snarl, he forced his body to move towards the injured man, and First Sword took care of any further threat.

The poison was moving fast, but the pain was far more worrisome. As he heard his troop stumble into the clearing to witness the scene, Cloud struggled to make his hands work enough to drag an antidote from his sheath pocket.

"Woah man, your neck is like, purple." The other cadet, (Ryan, was it?) said, ignoring the newly made cadavers as he let go of the troop leader to go to Cloud's side. "Holy hell, it's spreading too."

Cloud groaned a curse as the antidote seemed ineffective. "Wutia always has weird poisons." His voice was cutting out and Cloud realized that too much more movement was going to cause the poison to spread. He was almost unable to accept the remedy that Ryan handed to him, and taking it didn't make the movement worthwhile as the results were the same as with the antidote.

He vaguely heard the troop leader radioing in for backup as he shuddered. "The poison is moving too fast, have to shut it down. Hit me with stop, and paralyze." Cloud groaned, shaking as the pain intensified and his vision started to get foggy.

"Just wait, backup is on its way."

"There's no time! Look at the veins in his hands! They're turning purple too! The stuff is turning his blood to sludge."

Everything went black when Ryan cast the status magic.

While the mission had been assigned to SOLDIER recruits, due to the delicacy of the situation, they had not been solely responsible. In case the mission failed, Turks had been assigned to hang back and keep an eye on the situation. This was probably for the better, as when one of the cadets had ended up infected by a strange poison, they were able to take him back to Shinra by helicopter, and most likely save his life.

Mako had been injected on the way there. The cadet had showed a keenness for it during light testing prior to being dispatched on the mission. However the mako wasn't clearing up the poison. The status effects that had been cast on him had been the step that separated him from life or death. Had his body continue to function, his heart would have continued to have beat the poison throughout his body, infecting his entire bloodstream and turning all his blood to sludge. After prolonged exposure to the poison, other tissues such as those found in his heart and lungs would have also been infected.

Instead, they kept him under stop and paralyze as he was rushed back to Shinra and admitted to the hospital there. With everything short of a miracle at their disposal, the cadet was well taken care of. His blood was fed through a machine to cleanse it, and completely remove the destroyed blood and poison from his system. There the poison was taken to labs to start working on an antidote, while the undamaged blood was put back into his system.

Due to the way mako reacted with the boy, and his uncanny abilities to heal as it was, his blood regenerated fast, and would soon replace the blood that they had to remove.

So when the doctors were sure that they had done all they could, they removed the status effects, and waited.

Cloud didn't wake up.

_He was dying. It was ridiculous to be able to diagnose his condition so easily, but when you had already experienced it once, you could never forget what it was like. He was trying to breathe but all he was doing was doing was coughing and choking but never inhaling the sweet air he needed so desperately. His eyes were burning and blurred, the darkness around the edges of his vision moving further and further in, until all he could see was blackness._

And then he was running. He didn't know where he was, but everything was white. There were flowers. They were_** her**__ flowers and he knew it, but he couldn't even remember who __**she**__ was._

Then he saw her up ahead, tending to the flowers looking so peaceful and happy. He wanted to join her, he knew this was where he belonged. This was his place and god he had given_** everything**__, he deserved to be right there next to her._

But then she looked up what he saw wasn't inviting or comforting at all. She didn't have to say a word, those gorgeous green eyes of hers were telling him everything. Telling him 'no' and 'it's not your place' all at once, all at the same time.

"What are you doing here?" It was almost an accusation, and as she stood she was defensive, as if she didn't trust him, as someone would treat an outsider who had intruded on their property.

"I belong here. Don't I? It feels like I do."

And then she looked sad. Her shoulders sunk and those eyes melted from anger to pity. He didn't like being pitied, he didn't like her expression at all. She looked so sorry for him like he was a lost little puppy and damn it all he wasn't a puppy and he wasn't lost. He was a man and he knew he belonged_** right there,**__ there was no doubt and he knew he was right._

"Oh, Cloud." She sighed, walking towards him. She was right in front of him, reaching out for him and just about to touch him before she stopped her hand. She froze in midair and closed her eyes tightly. "I know this is breaking you. But there's nothing I can do. You have to leave."

He didn't want to leave, he wanted to stay there because that's where he belonged. He told her that, but she just looked away and shook her head. She turned to leave, but he called out to her, reached out and moved to follow her.

She suddenly turned, and light just seemed to shift and suddenly there was a staff in her hand. She held it in front of her in a defensive pose, as if he was about to attack her, as if he was about to destroy everything he desired so much.

"You have to leave."

Her tone was pleading and begging, and he knew this was hurting her as much as it hurt him. He knew that despite her pain, she would attack him if he pressed on, that she would make sure he left no matter what it took, no matter how much it hurt her.

And despite the fact he could feel himself breaking as he walked away, he grit his teeth and bore the pain, because he was used to pain and it was far better than letting her feel this way.

He didn't know why, but he knew that he owed her this much. So as he walked he never looked back. He never saw tears slip from her eyes nor seen her lips mouth the words 'goodbye, my love.' He would never know, but it would hurt them all no matter what he did.

"We've done all we can do. We'll keep him on the haemodialysis for another hour or so, but all the tests are coming back clean. His brain was shut down for an extended period of time, but tests showed no damage done to it by the poison. It might just be slow starting back up again."

"How do you think this will reflect on his mission grade?"

"That's not really my call, Mr. Fair." The doctor said with a laugh. "I'm not involved in that department. However from the medical report I received, he did everything he could to treat himself, and his actions probably saved his life. I don't think it will look too bad, as long as he pulls through."

It took Cloud a few moments to realize what was going on, and where the voice he was hearing was coming from. He opened his eyes to be immediately blinded by the harsh florescent light of the medical room, the flicker of eyelids attracting the attention of the other denizens in the room.

"Cloud, you're awake!" He recognized Zack's voice quickly, and turned his head to see him better. While there was stiff resistance from his muscles, there was no pain. Cloud considered that as a good sign.

"What are you doing here?" He asked the SOLDIER bluntly as his eyes focused. It was surprising, yet awkward that the other man was in his room when he was in this condition.

"You missed our training meet, so I snooped around to find out what had happened during your mission and found out you'd been hurt. You almost died, Cloud. Why wouldn't I be here?"

"It's no big deal." Cloud muttered, reaching for the switches of the machine he was hooked to, then scowled when he realized it was more complex to unhook his body from haemodialysis then a couple flicks of a switch. The doctor then returned the scowl from the other side of the room, visually chastising Cloud for even trying.

"No big deal? Are you.." He was cut off.

"It was a new poison, that's all. The updated antidotes will cover it and it will be just another poison that everyone brushes off. I was just stupid enough to get hit with it first."

"It wasn't your fault you got it, it was.."

Once again Cloud didn't let Zack finish his sentence. "It was my fault, but it doesn't matter. I think you have to get out of the way so the doctor can work."

Zack snapped his head up to see the doctor waiting patiently behind him. "And here I thought you would be comforted by a familiar face when you woke up." He said with a slight laugh that earned a raised eyebrow from Cloud.

"It's really no big deal, but thank you for coming, just the same." There was no reason to be impolite, especially not to Zack. "I missed it but could we reschedule the training? It would be nice," he took a moment to find the right words, "We haven't trained in a while."

"Of course!" Zack said as he moved to the foot of the bed to let the doctor through. Though you should probably rest a while before you do anything more. Just in case there are any complications. You didn't wake up for a while so maybe something else could be wrong."

Cloud knew what was wrong, but there was no doctors cure for that problem. "I'll be fine. Tomorrow night?"

Zack shook his head in an almost regretful manner, but didn't put up a further struggle. "You're crazy, but fine. If you think you can handle it then tomorrow it is."

Zack stuck around to hover over the doctors shoulder for a little while longer, before the man finally asked him to leave so he could finish the necessary preparations to release Cloud. With an additional promise to meet Cloud tomorrow, he left.

It was just before the doctor signed Cloud's release form when he spoke up again. "Mr. Strife, there was something I wanted to ask you." He reached into a folder that Cloud recognized as his file, and pulled out a few sheets that looked like various test results. Cloud stiffened when he realized what that meant. This was where things would get complicated.

"I monitored mako levels in your blood when you didn't respond to some of the treatments. But all of the mako levels came back unnaturally high, even for someone within SOLDIER. There were various components also, that were unidentifiable to everything in our database. I dug a little further, and found some mutations within your base DNA strands." The man was watching Cloud very carefully, noting how the cadet got stiffer and stiffer as he looked over the test results. Many of them came back 'EXTREME', 'UNKNOWN', and 'ERROR'. There was obvious reason for the doctor to be concerned. "I am judging by your lack of surprise, that you already know what this is from."

Cloud tried not to display any nervousness, but he couldn't help shifting his weight from foot to foot. He was just recovering from being in a coma-like state for over a day, his mind wasn't working fast enough to come up with a suitable lie. "There was an accident..."

"There were no records of such an accident, and your initial physical exam did not display these things, which means that this has occurred since the last time you took your physical exam tests." When Cloud remained silent in his defensive stance, the doctor sighed, taking the test results back from Cloud and tucking them into their folder. "Let me put it this way, Mr. Strife. If this is side effect from the poisons, it is my business to know, as in future, some of our soldiers may become infected in such a way. If it is from something else, it is not related, and I can simply forget ever running these tests."

Cloud froze, snapping his gaze to the man and examining him closely. He seemed to be honest, not displaying any malicious intent. "Are you serious?"

"I work for Shinra, Strife. It is in my job description to forget some of the oddities concerning my patients. You are no exception." When Cloud nodded, looking visibly relieved, the man continued. "Though I must warn you, if you are self-treating yourself I must advise you to stop. You are very close to pushing your body past the limit."

"It's not self-treatment, and it shouldn't' get any worse than this."

"Then I bid you good luck." The doctor said, while signing the release forms.

Cloud was given a week to recover fully from his hospitalization before he was called to receive his grade for the mission. Despite the fact he had continued training, Shinra claimed that it was necessary for him to have this time to get back into a routine. Cloud's sleep habits hadn't improved much, but not being sent on missions or having to attend classes gave him more time to work on more important things.

But one week wasn't enough to find out everything he needed, and even with his access to Shinra's library database, he could only glance off the tip of the iceberg of information he needed to plan his method of attack. It was almost annoying to be holed up in the small board room he was in, but he didn't let it show. Good behaviour meant that this meeting would be over with quickly and he could get back to his research, and his training, regardless of what the results of the mission were.

"Well Mr. Strife, I have to admit. When I first received your recommendation, I was sceptical." The woman's voice was as trim as her appearance, yet held enough authority that Cloud forced himself to sit up a little straighter as he was addressed. "Perhaps some of the doubt remained after reviewing your files. And the report of your hospitalization after the assigned task was even more exasperating."

While most cadets would have been feeling more than a little disappointed at that, Cloud's expression remained neutral. Whether or not he was penalized for it, his mistakes had been impatience, and underestimating an enemy he had thought to be neutralized. Yet his hospitalization had been the cause of a poison that antidotes had not covered: Shinra's failing, not his.

"However the details of your hospitalization were explained, and I see it was simply circumstance that caused this. You did all you could to rectify the situation in the field, and when such measures failed, you made sure that the problem could be solved when you returned yourself to Shinra's care. Because of this, we have a new antidote about to be released, and our forces in Wutai will be safe from this new poison. You have serviced Shinra in more ways than one during this mission, and for this I thank you."

Cloud nodded. "However you haven't yet completed your standard training, and as useless as you might think it, it is required for all of SOLDIER and its candidates. This training will make you more disciplined, prepare you for the missions you will face, and strengthen your bonds with your fellow cadets."

It would also prove his loyalty to Shinra. As he had not been around long enough to do this already, continuing his training would give them ample time to answer any questions they had about him, and his loyalty towards the company he was offering to serve. They may be eager to have him in the field, but protocol had to be followed.

"I understand."

"Good." The woman said brightly, before she straightened the papers of his file and folded her hands over top of them. "As you continue your training, however, we will start work on your SOLDIER application portfolio. This will eliminate the waiting period and ensure that you remain, shall we say, challenged, as you train." Cloud almost smirked, but held back, instead nodding his head again.

"You will be receiving details of upcoming missions and other tasks in your daily mail. With that, you are dismissed." She said, returning papers to their folders. "I'm sure you wish continue your strict training regime." She almost sounded amused, but it was well hidden.

Cloud didn't need to respond. Getting up he straightened his uniform and moved towards the door. Just past the threshold, he paused. Curiosity got the better of him and he turned back to the woman.

"Who recommended me?" He knew his recommendation came from higher places, yet he did not know anyone who was a higher rank within Shinra.

"I'm sorry Mr. Strife, such information is confidential." After a small pause the woman tilted her head with a smile. "Though I can tell you that it came from within the ranks of SOLDIER itself."

Zack.

Cloud was surprised at the realization that it had to be Zack, as Cloud didn't know anyone else in SOLDIER. The older boy had done so much for him already, befriending him and helping him with his training. Yet here he was pushing to have him accepted into SOLDIER faster as well. He almost felt guilty for accepting so much help from Zack, especially when he had done nothing to deserve it.

"Thank you." Cloud said quietly before he stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him.

Cloud knew there were more important things to be doing, yet exhaustion was tugging at him and he couldn't refuse. So when he made it back to his dorm, he stripped out of his clothes, tossed his gear in the corner, and climbed into bed without any further preparation.

Cloud was selecting a VR mission when the training center door opened, and though it was hard to turn his back on the EXP that was to be had there, he pulled off the helmet anyway. Looking up he saw Zack hanging on to the edge of the door.

"I thought you'd be here." The brunet said with a grin. "My training log has been going off the hook recently, Angeal's been rewarding me for all the training I've been doing." Zack said with a devilish laugh, walking up to Cloud. "Hope I'm not interrupting."

"It's fine, I was only selecting a new mission." Cloud said, looking down at the helmet in his hands. "Angeal doesn't know it's not you?"

"Oh, I think he does. He's just rewarding me to guilt trip me into doing the same level of training myself. But it won't work, I'm not as insane as you are."

"I'm not insane." Cloud said with a frown, finally setting the helmet down on the counter they were standing near. "I just have a lot of missions coming up soon."

"Ugh, that's right. Even though the last mission almost killed you they're already preparing to send you on another within two weeks time. I'd say you've impressed all the right people."

"Looks like." Cloud said with a bit of a sigh. "Not giving me much of a chance to catch my breath though."

"How are you doing? If they are pushing you too hard you can just tell them to ease off a bit. They just need good SOLDIER in Wutai is all."

"It's not the work, or the training, I can handle that fine." Cloud said, before he frowned. "There are just other things I have to do too. It's hard to find a balance between that and Shinra. It's easy to get sidetracked by one or the other."

"What kind of other things? Maybe I can help you out."

Cloud shook his head. "It's personal matters, nothing you can really help with. Thank you for the offer though."

Zack brightened, punching Cloud lightly on the shoulder. "Hey, any time I can help out, you just let me know okay?" When Cloud nodded he smiled. "So with all these personal issues and training, have you had any time to do things like, eat? Sleep? Socialize?"

"I'm talking to you right now." Cloud said, tilting his head to the side. "Does that count as socializing?"

"Oh, hell no." Zack said with a scoff. "Why don't you come and have supper with me tonight? We could do things that normal people do for a night."

Cloud's response was a blink. "And what would those things be?"

"I don't know, have dinner, watch TV, talk about things like politics and religion?"

"Sounds dull." Cloud said with a snort.

"But still," Zack countered, "I'd like to talk to you, get to know you a bit more. We haven't really had time to do any of that since we met."

And while getting reacquainted with a ghost of his past was something Cloud would have preferred to continue putting off, with Zack helping him like he was, it wasn't really fair to say no. Besides, it would give Cloud a chance to mention the recommendation that he suspected Zack had put out for him.

"Alright then, we'll do normal people things tonight."


	6. Chapter 6  A Kiss for the Defeated

**Chapter 6 - A Kiss for the Defeated**  
Cloud came to the realization that attempting a normal dinner with someone might be a bad idea when he was halfway to Zack's room later that night. For the past long while Cloud's life had revolved around adjusting to his new life, and having his new life work him over quite roughly. Shinra training and missions kept him preoccupied, almost sidetracking him from his real purpose. When he came to the conclusion that Jenova was the cause of most problems, that Jenova was where he should start, Cloud found that removing Jenova would be much easier said than done.

And so his days were filled with training, classes, and Shinra, his nights spent restlessly plotting and remembering. Normality was definitely not Cloud's strong point. Still, he didn't let it talk him out of standing in front of Zack's door, knocking tentatively . It only took a moment and some scrambled noises from inside before Zack whipped the door open, grinning from ear to ear at the slim cadet standing before him. Stepping back quickly so Cloud could come in, Zack's grin didn't disappear. "Glad you didn't forget to come."

Cloud, belatedly wondering if he should have brought something, toed off his shoes at the door. "I wouldn't forget."

"You seem like someone who'd get distracted with something else though." Zack chuckled while leading Cloud into his quarters. It was Shinra regulation through and through, bigger then Cloud's cadet accommodations, but third classes still didn't warrant the more spacious lodgings of a first or second class SOLDIER. The hallway from the door lead straight into a living area and then to the bedroom door. A kitchen was through a doorway on the left after you came in, and the bathroom was beside the bedroom. The living area had a couch, a coffee table, and a television. Zack had a considerable amount of books and papers spread out over the coffee table, clothes and other items adorned other flat surfaces throughout the space. It was what you would expect, really. Lead into the kitchen, Zack revealed that dinner wasn't much more than takeout from the cafeteria, but Cloud figured it was the company, not the food, that had drawn him here in the first place.

"There's some salad and stuff from the cafeteria, but I ordered a pizza, I'm heating it up a bit now as it wasn't very hot when they delivered it." Zack explained, pointing to the microwave that was in the process of heating the pizza. "And soda! Hope you don't mind it."

"That's fine, I'm sorry I didn't bring anything, it didn't occur to me-"

"I'm supposed to be treating you!" Zack smiled, reacting when the microwave beeped to pull the pizza out of it, bringing it to the table that bore the rest of the food. "A bit better then the cafeteria." Zack claimed, and Cloud sat down as Zack did, accepting the piece of pizza that Zack handed him.

While Cloud had expected things to be terribly awkward, he had once again forgot to take into account Zack's gift of continual chatter. Even though they had just seen each other, Zack found all sorts of things to talk about, from mindless gossip to a few news items he'd seen on Midgar's news station. Nothing was particularly interesting, but it filled the silence as they ate, and Cloud supposed that's all that mattered.

After a while, Zack's focus changed to Cloud, attempting to draw him into the conversation. "So Nibelheim is a small town huh? Where did you learn to fight so well? Beating up monsters in the outskirts?" Zack grinned, although both Zack and Cloud knew that it would take much more than just killing the odd fuzzy woodland creature to really learn to fight. Cloud had never planned a suitable story, so he was glad his mouth was full when Zack asked this. Taking his time to chew, Cloud's racing mind came to a suitable conclusion by the time he swallowed.

"I had a mentor, he was a very strong warrior who lived in Nibelheim. I wanted to learn how to fight, so I asked him to train me, and he did." It was a simple story, Cloud figured he could smooth over the details later when he had more time to think about it. "The sword he fought with, his materia, when he died he passed it down to me. Everything he gave to me, I..." Cloud trailed off, wondering what the Cloud of his past would have said to him would he have trained him. "I'm very grateful."

Zack was listening intently while chewing on the crust of a pizza slice he had already devoured. "It's awesome to have someone to mentor you." Zack finally said, noticing how Cloud didn't seem to want to talk about the man any longer. "Sometimes it can be stressful to have someone breathing down your neck all the time, making you work harder than you usually would, but it really pays off in the long run." Cloud nodded into his soda, and Zack smiled. "Idunno what I'd do without Angeal, if he wasn't around I probably wouldn't be in SOLDIER already."

Cloud was using his fork to push the slightly wilted cafeteria salad from one side of his plate to the other. "I don't know much about Angeal, just that he's first class." He admitted. Cloud's previous life in Shinra had been long enough ago that he supposed he had an excuse for not remembering.

"Hah, he's _The_ General Hewley. You know that right?" Cloud hesitantly nodded, which made Zack narrow his eyes in suspicion that he was lying. Cloud knew that he had lost all the zeal he had for Shinra, for its manufactured heroes and the drive to become one of them that they force-fed their recruits. Perhaps there would have been a time when he dreamed of being someone like Angeal, revered the man for what he had accomplished, but Cloud considered it petty now, all things considered.

"Well," Zack began, not quite sure how to word it, "It's a great privilege to be trained by him. He's like, best friends with Sephiroth and Genesis. He's one of the top three. You should be, you know, awed." Zack grinned at Cloud's blank expression. Cloud paused for a moment, before attempting a suitably awed expression. The attempt brought a laugh out of Zack, if nothing else.

"Beyond that, he's an amazing fighter. He uses the same type of sword that you do. You know, the swords of the overly-compensating variety." Cloud huffed which amused Zack further. "You know you could probably learn a lot from him. We're even training tomorrow night, maybe you should drop by, I'm sure he wouldn't mind teaching someone who could actually lift Buster Sword."

Cloud was about to mention that First Sword was a light lighter than Buster Sword was, but phrasing it that way would have been quite unwise. "First Sword isn't really that heavy." He said instead. "But I'd never say no to training."

Zack stood up with a smile, quickly gathering up their used dishes and taking them to the sink. "It'll be nice to have someone to share the hell with, anyways! Maybe he'll ease up on me a bit if he's slave driving you too." Zack called from the kitchen, which made Cloud smirk.

After that, the rest of the night went easy. Zack pulled out a deck of cards, and challenged Cloud to a game that Cloud had never played before. Not minding how badly he got wiped the first few games, he started to catch on with some pointers from Zack, and managed to win a game when Zack wasn't really trying. It wasn't until Cloud looked up from his cards to notice the odd looks that Zack was giving him that he started to feel uncomfortable.

Their conversation started to lean towards more personal questions. When Zack asked if Cloud had a girlfriend, he didn't seem concerned when Cloud said he didn't, it almost seemed to encourage him, even. Still, nothing broke their string of card games until Cloud finally yawned, looking up at the clock and noting that it was later then he had expected. Strange how easily time passed when he was with Zack, unburdened by guilt and feelings of inadequacy.

Zack also noticed Cloud's yawn, and yawned himself as he mimicked Cloud, checking the clock on the wall. "Wow it's kind of late."

"I think I have a training session tomorrow morning." Cloud admitted, setting down his hand of cards after flipping them over. Zack did the same, and Cloud noticed the other's hand would have stomped his easily if Zack hadn't been playing gentle. "Kind of haven't prepared for it at all."

Zack chuckled, standing up from where he was kneeled on the floor, and offering a hand to help Cloud stand up as well. Cloud took it, and while he was straightening his clothes he didn't notice the rather lingering touch that Zack trailed across his side. Happy and starting to become tired, Cloud made his way to the door where he put on his shoes, Zack trailing behind. Shoes on, Cloud straightened, attempting a smile at the SOLDIER in front of him and succeeding. "I had a good time tonight, thanks for inviting me." Cloud said, glancing at his hands almost nervously. Zack just grinned and nodded.

"Me too, thanks for coming!"

Cloud was in the process of reaching for the door knob when Zack's reached over his shoulder to hold it closed. Curious, Cloud turned to see what Zack wanted, and was surprised when he turned into an incoming kiss. Zack's hands fell to Cloud's hips, straightening the smaller blond against him and pressing him back against the door while his lips claimed Cloud's. Cloud was stunned into immobility, taking a long few seconds to process, in which Zack had already slipped his tongue past parted dry lips to taste the warmth beyond.

Had anything like this happened between him and Zack before? No, Zack had always been close and friendly, yet wholly untouchable, someone to look up to, not someone to be kissed by. Things had changed in Zack's life, Cloud was sure. He was much more naive and unbothered by the things around him than the Zack that had protected Cloud to his dying breath. Perhaps more the hormonal teenager, as well.

There was a small grunt from Zack when the older boy opened his eyes, forehead pressed against the blonds, searching Cloud's eyes for a reaction. When all he found was partially bewildered expression, Zack breathed a laugh. "I like you. I like you as a friend." Cloud considered this and nodded, unsure of where Zack was headed with this but deciding honesty was the easiest answer to give, a little too dazed to do otherwise.

"Me too."

"I would enjoy liking you as something more though." Zack said, lifting up a hand to brush the back of his knuckles against Cloud's cheek. Cloud's questioning look didn't disappear, and finally Zack chuckled. For someone who seemed so mature, so ahead of the game in every aspect, Cloud was so transparently stupefied by what had just happened that Zack couldn't help but be amused. Releasing the smaller boy and backing away so that Cloud could open the door he was leaning against, Zack smiled. "Remember you can come by any time okay? If you ever need anything, I usually don't bother locking the door, so drop by any time you want to come to see me."

Cloud, grateful for some of the normality that suddenly seemed easier to deal with, nodded. "Alright, thank you, I will."

After exiting Zack's room, heat hit Cloud's face as he realized what had just transpired. Zack had just kissed him in the same way a guy would kiss a girl. Zack had just said that he would like to be more than just friends. Even his limited experience with the subject of romance made it easy to put two and two together. Was this a normal occurrence for people his age? Shaking his head, Cloud almost wanted to scold himself for not have figuring it out while it had actually was happening, though Zack pressed against a person made it easy to forget your common sense.

Cloud was on auto pilot when he made it back to his room and prepared himself for bed. The fact that he spent more time around test tubes then other youth during his more hormonal years made the situation a touch more surreal then it should have, but really, it wasn't a big deal. Cloud would just have to confirm what exactly Zack wanted out of him, and then he'd be able to decide if he was capable of giving it. Thoughts of his virtue or the fact that he knew nothing about what that really entailed failed to enter his mind. His hormonal youth far behind him, his ineptitude with matters of romance, and his lack of concern towards relationships in general made Cloud almost too far gone to care. Instead of stressing about it, Cloud decided that if Zack really wanted something from him, he wouldn't be shy about telling him what exactly it was, the same as he had done earlier that night.

Instead of worrying about matters further, Cloud reached into his night stand and pulled out several folded sheets of paper that he had printed off earlier that day. Clearing his mind with lists of basic military operations carried out in the Nibelheim area, Cloud focused on what was most important. Removing Jenova as a threat involved needing to know where Jenova was, and Jenova had been moved in between Nibelheim and Midgar more than once.

Basic missions carried out were available in an archive for public use as a basic library service. However this didn't cover any mission that Shinra considered the least bit confidential, and Cloud was unsurprised that the printed list only detailed the activities involving the construction and maintenance of Nibelheim mako reactor, and Shinra Manor. The reason the Manor was constructed was not publicised, neither were any of the more unsavoury uses of the Nibelheim reactors.

He needed far more detailed information than this, what Shinra released to the public was never on par with what they were actually doing. However accessing such information over Shinra's network required company cards with a much higher rank then what Cloud's bore. Of course, this problem presented a relatively easy solution, Cloud just had to get his hands on a company card that was higher in hierarchy. Formulating a loose plan that would get him into contact with such a thing, Cloud finally curled into bed satisfied that he had a course of action set.

And perhaps he would figure out things with Zack the next day during their training.

Cloud's plan to gain access to more information was delayed when had to run to his morning training class to be on time, not giving him time to institute the first stage of his plan. Though he had been looking forward to it, Cloud doubted if it was actually worth showing up, when most of the training session was nothing more than practicing basic combat stances and learning proper maintenance and care of Shinra distributed fire arms. Made more restless than anything by the class, Cloud was looking forward to an actual training session with Zack. He paid limited attention in class, to the point that when a professor asked him a question, Cloud had to get him to repeat it before he could answer.

When classes were over, Cloud was relieved, and headed straight for the training center after grabbing First Sword. He made a note to bring nothing but cure materia along with him, deciding that Angeal might not be as childishly impressed as Zack would be, and ask the wrong kind of questions.

After digesting what Zack had told him about Angeal the night before, Cloud considered that learning something from someone who had more experience on the battle field then in the classroom would be a good thing. Though by now Cloud wasn't sure there was anything he didn't know, he just had to get his body in shape to do it.

Angeal seemed to understand the need for a strong body to perform basic combat, as when Cloud entered the training center he found Zack on the floor doing push ups. And from the look of the SOLDIER, he'd been doing them for a while. Angeal didn't seemed bothered by his intrusion, and Zack lifted a hand to grin and wave, before returning to his push ups.

"Strife." Angeal finally acknowledged. "Push ups for the next five minutes." It was an order, and while Cloud had half a will to complain, he knew this also wasn't a mandatory class for cadets who didn't really want to be here doing it. This was a private training session that he had been invited to attend, and he would do what was required of him, or leave.

Moving to pull First Sword out of his sheath, Angeal interrupted. "Stop," Pointing to Zack, who Cloud belatedly noticed had his training sword sheathed at his back, Angeal smirked, "You train fully equipped to build endurance."

Cloud bit his lip to prevent himself from speaking his mind on what he thought of that policy, and Angeal wasn't hiding bothering to hide his amusement, knowing full well the challenges of lugging around a sword the size of First Sword. Pressing it back into its sheath, Cloud walked to where Zack was, dropped down and started his push ups without a word of complaint. He had wanted a challenge, and a challenge had been presented.

When the push ups were over, Angeal ordered suicide drills right after, and Cloud was starting to see why Zack complained about his training. Cloud was panting as hard as Zack by the time Angeal let them rest, and Zack finally managed a laugh when he saw the unhappy look on Cloud's face. "I warned you he was an ass, didn't I?"

Angeal chuckled, standing next to Zack and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Want to do some sit-ups, next?"

"Ass? I meant..astute! As in an astute teacher!" Cloud covered his mouth to hide his smirk.

Angeal just grinned, moving to pick up the VR helmets and handing one to both Zack and Cloud. Waiting until Zack put on his, Cloud pulled it over his head and waited for the training session to begin. A solo mission flashed across the screen, and Cloud unsheathed First Sword, mindlessly sliding one of the side pieces apart to dual wield as the mission description began and a whole new zone materialized around him.

It was a simple, easy mission, and Cloud figured that Angeal was warming them up more than anything. "Eliminate all targets," A feminine voice explained the mission, "And clear the enemy base, before your time limit of ten minute expires." The enemy base in question had a straight forward layout. There was a single entrance, with armed soldiers standing guard. There were many patrols around the outside, and Cloud considered his options. He could sneak through, or he could...

Not bothering with stealth, Cloud burst out of the starting safe zone and charged the first set of patrols. They both reacted to his presence, raising their guns to fire, but never made their first shots before Cloud was upon them. Spinning in place with a outstretched sword in each hand, Cloud exploited the first flaw in the simple AI. Never stand too close together.

The mission was almost painfully easy. The enemy AI was sluggish and sloppy, giving more than adequate time to exploit their weakness to having large amounts of steel shoved through their bodies. The final target to be eliminated came out after the last enemy soldier had fallen, a simple attack robot. Had Cloud brought materia he could have killed it with a couple of bolt spells, but as it was he instead circled the slow piece of machinery, which blindly tried to keep up to him, and as a result spent all it's time shooting at air, while Cloud slashed it apart at ease.

When _Mission Complete!_ flashed across his vision, Cloud pulled off the helmet while the virtual world around him began to dissipate. Zack was still fighting, but judging by his footwork, he was employing the same tactic at the last training robot that Cloud had been. Angeal remained silent, waiting until Zack pulled his helmet off a minute later.

"Warmed up?"

When both Zack and Cloud nodded, Angeal brightened. "Then time for the real thing."

They ran the next missions that Angeal opened together, working as a team and finishing them all, even as they got progressively harder, and Cloud started to regret not bringing more materia. After a particularly challenging course was completed, Zack checked his phone for the time, wincing when he saw how late it was. "I've got a class in five minutes." He said, glancing from Angeal to Cloud. "Should I skip it?"

"No." Angeal said sternly, patting Zack's head, much as one would pat a dogs. "You did good, training over." Zack ginned, putting his phone away.

"Sucks to be the kid sitting next to me, I don't have time for a shower!" Zack laughed, jogging towards the door before he turned on his heel to wave to Cloud. "Thanks for coming! I was right, it's easier when there's someone else being tortured next to you!" Zack laughed again, popping out of the room before Angeal could punish him for his cheekiness. Cloud, despite still being in range for such punishment, smiled in response, as did Angeal.

Cloud purposefully dragged his heels while tucking away the VR helmets that he and Zack had been using, and while reassembling First Sword to sheath it, waiting to see if Angeal would leave so he could continue training. Instead, Angeal stayed where he was, flicking through messages received on his phone, idly glancing up at Cloud now and then. Deciding that he could come back and train any time, Cloud gave up on waiting and started to leave.

He was on his way to the door, when Angeal stopped him. "Hold up, if you're not going to run any more VR, and you don't have any classes, I want to duel you."

Cloud paused, turning back to face Angeal. "I don't have any classes."

"Then let's see how good you really are." Angeal said, while picking up the practice sword that Zack had left behind. Cloud was wary, unsure of what Angeal's true intentions were. The man had been watching him train for a good deal of time, Cloud supposed he could just be curious. But the intense way Angeal was looking at him raised alarm bells in Cloud's head. Despite them, he nodded, drawing First Sword, following Angeal into the middle of the room, and falling into a ready position.

As Cloud had suspected, the first attack from Angeal is a simple testing blow, which Cloud easily countered. It was a show of impatience, that he's not so weak or untrained. In response, Angeal countered with a quick, upwards slash with enough force to nearly wrench First Sword from Cloud's hand. Taking the point, Cloud cancelled his offensive and fell back into a ready position.

Angeal's next series of attacks forced Cloud onto a continuous defence, not allowing him counters or offensives, instead testing Cloud's ability to hang onto his sword and deflect attacks in time. Shoved in his face in such a blatant manner, Cloud had to admit that First Sword had been a lot easier to handle when he'd been 50lbs heavier. His constant training had made him particularly skilled at cutting through training robots, but this was something different all together.

Cloud was actually enjoying it.

His enjoyment was starting to dwindle, however, when Angeal started hitting harder, faster, and using far more advanced moves then required for a basic duel. Angeal seemed to be unhappy with forcing Cloud into a nimble, evasive defence, and instead focused on disarming Cloud or catching him off guard. When Angeal feigned an attack to his left, Cloud didn't realize his mistake until it was too late to heave First Sword across his body, leaving his right side wide open for Angeal's body check that sent him to the ground.

Cloud counted to three before pushing himself up, and drawing his body back to a defensive stance. He was entirely unsure of what Angeal's motives were now, as it was definitely not a playful duel to test Cloud's skills. The man's eyes were intense, his expression stoic and serious. Whatever he was thinking about, whatever he was focusing on, it was far beyond analyzing Cloud's skill in battle. Angeal waited until Cloud had gathered himself, before setting up a brisk, and brutal charge that challenged Cloud's grip on First Sword and shoved the smaller body back a few paces.

The second attack came far swifter and harder then Cloud had expected or prepared for, forcing Cloud to his knees. Swiftly catching one of the levers on First Sword's hilt, he detached one of the lighter side blades, pulling it across his body to block the next attack with far more grace than he could have managed with First Sword alone.

Now with a blade in either hand, Cloud was given the advantage of lessened weight and an extra means of defence, making his job of fending off Angeal's relentless attacks a little easier. However as the fight stretched on, Angeal never backing down or stopping his steady onslaught, Cloud started to tire quickly. After a long training session, Angeal wasn't giving him near enough time to keep his breath.

Cloud longed for materia when an unexpected twist of Angeal's blade wrenched First Sword from his hand, leaving Cloud with just the lightweight blade to deflect the next string of attacks with. The next attacks pushed him further back, away from where First Sword had fallen, and not giving him a chance to pick it up again. Annoyed, his patience growing thin, Cloud used some of his new found speed, taking advantage of being weighed down less than he was with First Sword.

But Angeal's speed was still superior. A quick stab to Cloud's side brought Cloud's sword downward to deflect it, his grip lower on the handle of his sword. But before Cloud could even move, Angeal had spun with another attack, this time an upwards swoop. Cloud's grip failed, and his last means of defence went flying. The final hit of the combo was directed at an entirely disarmed Cloud, who was sluggish in jumping out of the way. Angeal twisted his hold on his sword at the last moment, hitting Cloud's side with the flat of his blade, still using enough force to knock Cloud to the ground, and ensure that he would be sporting a bruise the next day.

Cloud's string of patience snapped, and finally he snarled. "What the hell are you trying to prove?" This had gone from a test of skills to blatant bullying, and if Cloud had brought his materia he was sure he'd be returning the sentiment now.

"I could ask you the same." Angeal's expression hadn't changed, his eyes were still focused entirely on Cloud, his expression still stoic, though now a hidden anger was becoming quite visible to Cloud. The man rested the edge of his blade on Cloud's shoulder, deterring Cloud from trying to get back onto his feet and continuing the fight.

With a blind trust that Angeal didn't really want him dead, Cloud settled on a cool glare from his position. "I don't know what you mean."

"Why does Zack have dreams about you?"

Cloud's glare faltered for a moment, now understanding the source of Angeal's carefully controlled anger. Still, it was misdirected at him, and Cloud let his gaze harden. "Dreams are a normal part of life, what would I know about them?"

With a snarl, Angeal pressed his blade a little harder into Cloud's shoulder, demanding honesty with a very simple threat. "These aren't just dreams. And their commonality is that they are _all_ about you. What are they? What are you doing to him?"

Angeal's demands were drawing an equally offended anger from Cloud. While it seemed suspicious, there was nothing in Cloud's description that entailed influencing the dreams of those around him. If it was related, which it probably was, it would take him time to understand what was going on. Having someone stand there and demand answers on something they hadn't the first clue about... "How would I have control over anyone's dreams?"

"But you're hiding something." Angeal countered, refusing to back down. "You're hiding something, and potentially endangering Zack with it. He's been kind to you, why are you hurting him?"

Cloud visibly flinched, before angrily slapping away Angeal's sword, shoving himself to his feet quickly enough that Angeal couldn't knock him back down. "I'm not doing _anything_ to hurt Zack."

"Then what are you hiding from him?" Angeal lowered his sword, though he kept it at hand. His eyes were blazing now, there was no doubt that he was defensive of his puppy, and in return angry at Cloud, the one who perhaps knew the cause, especially as Cloud denied his obvious role. "Why do your eyes burn with mako, though you've never had a SOLDIER treatment? Why are your stats abnormally high, even without traces of steroids on your physical? Why are you able to wield a sword that's bigger then you are-" Angeal cut himself off, perhaps to circumvent some of his oncoming anger, perhaps because by now Cloud had a very good clue of what the other man was getting at.

Cloud's mouth opened to hiss a response, but when his brain couldn't come up with anything he shut it again, clenching his jaw instead. Angeal was serious about getting answers, holding his position between Cloud and the door. Coming here, was a mistake. Agreeing to stay for a duel as well, was a mistake. Cloud should have automatically assumed that allowing anyone close enough to him would come to this. Longing for a pause button as the seconds ticked by, Cloud fought against the alarm bells in his head that told him to kill the threat and run. Instead his eyes shifted from Angeal to search for the door, planning an escape route.

Angeal immediately noticed the change in Cloud's demeanour, knowing that he'd pushed too far and instead backed Cloud into a corner where he shut down. The shift from arrogant denial to near panic nearly crackled between them, and the large man sighed, letting his grip on the practice sword he was holding vanish, the sound of it clattering to the ground echoing throughout the room.

"We're trustworthy. You don't have to hide things from me, or from Zack. We wouldn't-"

"It's not like that." Cloud interrupted bluntly. Accepting Angeal's disengagement, Cloud moved to pick up his sword, reassembling it, all while making it a point not to show Angeal his back out of paranoid reflex. "I'm not hiding anything, I'm not a threat. Not to anyone, but _especially_ not to Zack." Backing towards the door, Cloud waited until he was far enough away, until he was sure that Angeal's relaxed and slightly defeated pose wasn't simply a trap, before he turned and headed for the door. "_What I'm hiding doesn't even exist anymore_." Cloud whispered to himself, before he walked through the door.

Angeal stood in the middle of the training center for a long while, silently wondering what Cloud had meant by that.


	7. Chapter 7  Laboratory Monotonous

**Chapter 7 - Laboratory Monotonous**  
Cloud got the impression that not many people volunteered for the Laboratory Assistance Program. While the halls of Shinra's main floor were often filled with lingering cadets or SOLDIERS, there was almost nobody around the volunteer window. As he approached it, he saw the multiple posters advertising recruitment, and signup sheets scattered across the counter.

There was a young lady leaning against the countertop, her posture one of someone who had been there for far too long with no one to talk to. Cadets weren't often interested in following scientists throughout their various experiments, finding new uses for herbs in potions and working on new antidotes. They strove to become SOLDIER, they trained and they practiced, and left that to those who wished to become scientists themselves. For the students who were not interested in fighting, who would prefer the labs of Shinra to the battlefields. And apparently, there were very few people with that mind set.

However, scientists were involved in some of the most dark and classified secrets in Shinra. And while Cloud doubted that volunteering as an aide in the simple laboratories, he might run into someone who had access to far more sensitive information, and the key card to prove it. Getting such a card would be the first step to finding information on Jenova or the current status of Hojo's experiments.

It took a moment for the clerk to notice he was there, her eyes half closed and unfocused as she dozed. When he cleared his throat however, she jumped up, alert and focused on the potential volunteer, a rarity that could not be squandered. "Hello!" She exclaimed, reaching out to shake Cloud's hand. "Are you here to volunteer for the Laboratory Assistance program? By volunteering you can aid Shinra in producing potions and antidotes that will save SOLDIER's lives on the battle field! With enough volunteer hour's you are well on your way towards a successful job application into the research-branch of Shinra."

And then Cloud grinned, releasing her hand as he nodded towards the recruitment sheets. "Yes, sign me up."

It was a simple process, and the clerk assured him that it would not take long for his application to process and his volunteer hours to begin. Yet even the smallest waiting period seemed like it was too long to Cloud. Restless and agitated since the encounter with Angeal, he felt the need to act, to move forward in his task. How long would it take before Angeal's suspicions made it to the higher ups in Shinra? How long before his unexplained quirk's found him either booted from Shinra, or worse, hunted by them? He had to get what information he could from the company before the time came when he was completely unable to.

As Cloud headed towards the elevator that would take him to cadet's quarters, he winced at the pain in his side. He was sporting an angry bruise that would be lingering for several days, and while Cloud doubted any ribs were broken, they were most definitely sore. Beyond that his entire body ached with the strain of the previous duel, showing Cloud just how weak his body still was, how much training he still needed before he obtained the strength he had once had. If he would ever be able to obtain that strength again.

But on top of the concerns it brought about Zack's overprotective mentor and his view's of Cloud's secrets, it also had informed Cloud of something more worrisome, Zack's dreams. While he had claimed that his friend's dreams were probably normal, he had a sinking feeling that they were anything but. His own dreams were nothing but memories of the past that no longer existed, and he assumed that they were the Planet's way of reminding him why he could not let up and get distracted. But for someone else to have such dreams was another thing entirely, and Cloud wondered just what Zack dreamt about, if they were indeed of the life that he would hopefully never experience.

HIs curiosity was getting the better of him as he entered the elevator, so he pressed the button to SOLDIER's quarters instead of his own. He was unable to dig deeper into Shinra at the moment, and he was too sore to do much training, but finding out more about Zack and his dreams would be enough to settle his urge to act. He had the morning off before classes resumed in the afternoon, and so it would give him enough time to talk to Zack.

Thinking about Zack led him to wondering what exactly his relationship was with the other man. They were proclaimed friend's, Zack had already announced this to him. But Zack had also said that he was interested in something else, and that something else was still somewhat elusive in nature to Cloud. He knew how hormonal teenagers could be, but he had never assumed that it was anything he would have to deal with, never thinking that he would be approached in such a way by someone like Zack.

Sighing Cloud waited until the elevator stopped at Zack's floor, trailing behind the few other SOLDIER that got off the elevator as well, not wanting to draw attention to himself or his destination. When he reached Zack's door, he fumbled in his mind for how he might approach his two topics of interest, while quietly knocking. He was standing for several long moments before he knocked again, a little louder, thinking that perhaps Zack was asleep or hadn't heard his him.

When there was still no response, Cloud let out a breath. He had assumed Zack would be in his room on a half day off, sleeping in and enjoying the lazy morning that was offered. But perhaps Zack had been called away to do something or had gone out with some of his friends.

Leaving the door to walk away, Cloud nearly jumped when he heard a noise from coming from within. A moan of pain, quiet and barely audible through the thick door, but Cloud knew he had heard it. Had Zack gotten hurt? Was he very sick or suffering in some way? If he was inside and unable to open his door - Cloud didn't want to think about that.

Wishing he had come armed, Cloud satisfied himself with drawing the small combat knife from his boot, just in case whoever had hurt Zack was still inside. Carefully touching the handle of the door he found it unlocked. He opened it as quietly as he could, and was pleased with the fact that his stealth was not ruined by a squeaky door as he slipped inside. Leaving the door open a crack behind him, Cloud quietly moved away from the door, before coming to a complete stop.

There were more sounds. Now that he was not standing on the other side of the door, they were not muffled enough to be unheard. Pants for breath, heady grunts, and wanton pleas drifted from deeper inside Zack's apartment, and Cloud's cheeks coloured quickly when he realized what he was hearing. There was nobody in pain in that room, they were very much the opposite. And very much enjoying it, by the sound of it.

Cloud wasn't sure when he began creeping forward, drawn by morbid curiosity perhaps, to the edge of the hallway, carefully peeking around the corner, praying he wouldn't be seen. He had been expecting another SOLDIER, perhaps even another cadet. Instead, he saw Angeal behind Zack. Angeal, half naked and overcome with lust, thrusting into Cloud's more than receptive friend. Zack was kneeling on the same couch Cloud had sat on a few nights before, pressed against the back of it with his back arched, while Angeal stood behind him, hands holding the brunet's hips in place while he bent over him, growling unheard words into Zack's ear while he pounded him.

Zack's expression was one of pure bliss, his head thrown back onto Angeal's shoulder, crying out with every thrust, bucking back to meet Angeal's strokes, and begging for more. One of Angeal's hands moved from Zack's hip to stroke up his front, finding his length and giving it several slow, teasing strokes, which brought noises out of Zack that made Cloud's cheeks color even more.

This was most definitely sex. Cloud seemed unable to move or process any thoughts as he watched rooted in place, his legs feeling like lead. This was most definitely sex, and this was what Zack had alluded to when he had told Cloud he'd like to be more than friends. It was a few more moments of delayed thoughts before it struck him that this was why Angeal was so protective over Zack, far more than just his mentor, far more than just a friend. Did he know what Zack had told Cloud? That he had kissed him? Was he angry at Cloud for it, or did he really just see Cloud as a threat, a danger to the SOLDIER he so intimately enjoyed?

These thoughts seemed to snap Cloud out of his shock, and he realized very quickly that he did not want to be here. Shame and embarrassment that he had been watching his friend's most intimate actions, and that he had not left as soon as he had confirmed Zack was alright coursed through him. And yet, even as he slipped out of Zack's room and returned his knife to his boot, he couldn't help his thoughts from wandering to what Zack had alluded at.

Why was he interested in Cloud? Angeal seemed far more capable then Cloud could ever imagine himself to be. Or perhaps Zack wanted something else, wanted to take Angeal's spot and put Cloud in his? His face was burning badly with embarrassment and Cloud found himself half running back to the elevator to get back to his room. He wanted to talk to Zack but this was definitely not the time. And as Cloud rushed into the elevator and pressed his back against the cool metal of its wall, thankful that there was nobody else in it, he wondered how long it would take before he would be able to wipe such graphic images from his mind.

Angeal brought a wet cloth from the bathroom, finding Zack sprawled across the couch in much the position he had left him. The dark haired boy had such a sleepily blissful expression that it brought a smile to Angeal's face. Maybe it was a boost to his ego, to know that he could so thoroughly tire out someone as energetic and ardent as Zack, but there was something satisfactory about it all the same.

Kneeling on the couch behind Zack, Angeal pressed his lips to the boy's neck in a gentle kiss, while sliding the warm cloth across first the boy's stomach, then to his thighs and rear, cleaning him of the evidence of their indecency. Zack mumbled something Angeal couldn't understand, eventually moving enough to turn and face Angeal. Sliding his arms around the larger man's neck, he found Angeal's lips with a heated kiss. He pulled back after a few moments, running a wet tongue across Angeal's lower lip in a tempting motion before leaning his forehead against Angeal's. "Thanks for coming." Zack breathed, pressing himself closer as Angeal leaned back into the couch, propping himself comfortably against the arm rest.

Zack settled against him, resting his head on the man's' shoulder and breathing warm breath into the crook of Angeal's neck. "More forceful than usual." When Angeal opened an eye to gauge Zack's expression, Zack grinned. "I like it when you're forceful. I like it when you hold me down, and -"

Angeal cut him off with a finger to his lips, quickly recognizing Zack's attempt to stir him into another round. "I think three is enough for the morning, you have classes in less than an hour." He said, running a hand through Zack's tousled hair. The boy responded with a contented sigh, resting his head back on Angeal's chest, nuzzling it softly. Much more the purring kitten after sex, than the energetic puppy.

"We'll get test results back during it too, so I guess I can't skip." Zack mumbled, watching Angeal lazily.

"How do you think you did?"

"It was easy, sword's training is my specialty, or so I've been told." There was innuendo behind that, a waggle of the eyebrows from Zack that made Angeal chuckle. "But I think the real question is, what got you in such a _forceful_ mood? That usually only happens when you're back from a mission, or under some stress, or just _really_ horn-"

"What made you invite Cloud to our training?"

"I..." Zack lifted his head to watch Angeal's reaction, as the man's voice seemed quite serious. "We had dinner the night before, we talked a lot and I figured he could probably use some people to train with. Why? I won't do it again if you don't think I should."

Angeal sighed, before finally pulling himself into a stronger sitting position. "What did you talk about at dinner?"

Zack leaned back, now sitting on Angeal's thighs as the other man sat at the couch. Despite their state of undress, Zack still gathered quickly that Angeal was serious. "Just casual stuff. We talked about mentors, though. He said that he was trained by a warrior who lived in Nibelheim before he died. He seemed sad, though. And I was thinking, that it would suck to lose someone that important." And as he said this, Zack leaned to press his forehead into Angeal's shoulder, to further show that it was the thought of losing Angeal that scared him. "I'm really lucky that I got you to train me, and I just thought that he might appreciate the chance to train with someone, even if you're not his old mentor?" After a pause, perhaps going over what he had just said in his mind, Zack shrugged. "I thought he seemed to enjoy it. He likes to train. But, why the interest?"

Angeal sighed at this, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. "After you left, I duelled him." He admitted, his hands going to Zack's hips and squeezing them reassuringly. "I didn't hurt him." He didn't even bother looking up or opening his eyes, just automatically assuming that it was what Zack was worried about. When the body under his hands relaxed, he was proven right. "He is very good. He surpasses everyone in his level. But still, don't you think there is something wrong? Can't you tell he's hiding something? I tried asking him but he wouldn't tell me anything." He was purposefully leaving out how upset Cloud had become when he had been pressed for answers, deciding Zack would be happier not knowing.

"I think we just need to get to know him better. Then maybe he'd open up to us? I'm sure that whatever he's not telling us, it's not sinister and it's not going to endanger us. He's got a good heart."

"What about the dreams you have about him?" Angeal asked, quiet and low toned.

"I..." Zack was taken slightly aback that Angeal would bring it up, with the clear implication that Cloud was behind it. "Well it's strange yes, but they're just dreams right? It's not like he has any control over them or is causing them. Maybe he knows _something_ about them, maybe he'd tell us if we were nice to him."

Considering this for a minute, Angeal finally chuckled, his hands moving from Zack's hips to wrap around his body, pulling him close for a hug, before he rested his chin on Zack's head. "It's sweet that you want to be nice to him, to get close to him. But don't let your crush fog your judgement, alright? Don't be so quick to try and seduce him that you let your guard down."

Zack chuckled at this, leaning back into Angeal's grasp and brushing his lips across a stubbled chin. "I couldn't rush into seducing him, even if I wanted. When we were having dinner I left a pretty broad hint, and you should have seen his face." He laughed fondly at the memory.

"A broad hint?"

"I kissed him. I kissed him and told him that I'd like to be more than just friends. He looked at me like I had told him the sky was yellow. But he didn't say no, either. It's like for the first time since I've met him, he was just a fifteen year old kid, all innocence and youth."

Angeal considered this, before he sighed. "His eyes are world weary. Like he's a battle worn soldier, looking back at his past. Not like a child with his whole future ahead of him."

"He's lonely, Angeal." Zack whispered, and Angeal could tell easily that it was important to Zack. His kind nature did not want to see someone suffer anything if he could do something about it. "I've seen a lot of cadets that are shy, don't have many friends, and are a bit lonely when they come here. But this is different, it's...deeper. He acts like he's the only person in the world. But he gets along with us, at least me." He gave Angeal a pointed look, as if he was suspecting that Angeal's duel and interrogation didn't go as good as he was making it out to have. "Maybe all he needs is a friend, someone to help him and keep him from becoming the big threat you make him out to be?"

Angeal considered what had happened the night before. Cloud was closed off and unwilling to open up to those around him, and like Zack said, lonely because of it. With the sheer power that the blond possessed, and the knowledge that he was hiding something, it was a constant worry that something could provoke Cloud, or push him over the edge. When Angeal had pushed him, he become defensive, angry, but he hadn't turned violent. But how much would it take, before he did? How many people would get hurt if that happened?

"He just needs a friend." Zack repeated, attempting to lure Angeal out of any accusing thoughts. "I really want to be that friend."

"Why?" Angeal finally sighed, running a hand through his hair to push it from his face. "There are a lot of people within Shinra that really need friend's. But you've never been so eager to possibly put yourself in danger to help them. Why is he so special?"

And even as he asked that question, he knew that neither he nor Zack would ever know the answer to that.

"He just is." Zack said after a long while, having no other explanation for it. And Angeal decided to leave it at that.

The next morning Cloud was surprised to see a letter under his dormitory door, stating simply that he had been approved for the Laboratory Assistance Program, and that he could start that day to begin his basic training. He had known they were probably desperate for volunteer's, but he didn't think it would be _this_ bad. Not one to question his luck, however, Cloud was more than willing to plan it into his day. A four hour break between lunch and his last class, Cloud decided that he would use that time to go to the lab. Perhaps he would be able to scout out any likely targets for his planned access card theft, or find out information about the highly acclaimed scientists within Shinra.

His focus on this wiped out most of his thoughts during the morning, his classes passing by in a haze and Cloud was glad that there was nothing important being said, as he hadn't heard a word of any of the professors. And finally, he had been able to let the thoughts of Zack, their tentative relationship, and Angeal's complications to slip to the back of his mind. There were things that were more important, things that he was happy to let occupy his thoughts, as it seemed everything else was designed simply to make him uncomfortable or embarrassed.

He ate lunch quickly and quietly in the corner of the cafeteria, trying hard not to attract the attention of those around him. For once he was hoping that Zack wouldn't show up, still uncertain of how he would manage to face his friend or what exactly he could say, concerned he might be too embarrassed when the sound of Zack's moans were so fresh on his mind.

Slipping from the cafeteria he made it to the laboratories without issue, showing his ID when asked by the clerk at the door. "Oh, wonderful, a new gofer! Things are so much easier when there's some eager hands around." She said cheerfully, opening the door and letting him in. Following her inside, he looked around to see that the laboratories were completely unremarkable. There was nothing in this lab to hint that Shinra's scientists did anything more than analyze chocobo drool for healing properties.

A bit of doubt ran through Cloud's mind when he was introduced to an aged scientist, the man dressed in a white lab coat, stooped over his cane as he moved from Petri dish to microscope, not noticing that Cloud was there with the clerk until she cleared her throat loudly and tapped him on the shoulder.

After a brief introduction, the man gave Cloud a sceptical look up and down, before he snorted out something that sounded a lot like _punk_ and turned back to his work. "You can get me a coffee, kid. No cream, two sugars." He said gruffly before resuming his research and forgetting about Cloud.

Oh yeah, he could see why cadet's didn't volunteer for this often. Suppressing a defeated sigh, he headed back to the cafeteria, positive this was going to be a long day.

For three hours, Cloud saw nothing but coffee, boring reports detailing the chemical composition of crushed bandersnatch claws, and various stationary items that the brave scientists of Laboratory Monotonous had run out of. He did have the opportunity to snatch a key card that had been left out in the open on a countertop, but as the owner was enthusiastically studying the effects mixing behemoth snot with battery fluid produced, Cloud doubted it would yield very high clearance.

It was getting late in the day, and Cloud seemed to have hit a lull in the requests of the various laboratory staff. So bored as could be, he sat at the counter of the elderly scientist he had been assigned, which he had since discovered was named Coots. Coots was effective at ignoring all others around him, and breaking microscopic slides, which he would then demand Cloud get more of from the storage cupboard that was only a dozen footsteps away.

When a buxom young woman came through the doors of the laboratory carrying a stack of files, however, Coots stood up straight and paid attention. Cloud quickly noted the sudden change in behaviour, as it was quite noticeable when the elderly man attempted to slick his receding hair back before attempting to get the young woman's attention.

She graciously acknowledged him, sweeping across the laboratory to lean across to address the man. "Ah, Coots. How have you made out today?" She practically purred, and Cloud noticed that Coot's eyes were bulging appreciatively at the nearly indecent ride of her skirt.

"Made some more progress since I was finally assigned a damn assistant, Supervisor." Coots said with a nod in Cloud's direction, his voice decidedly less gruff when addressing her. "Should be done in a few minutes."

This seemed to have drawn the woman's attention to Cloud, because the blond instantly felt her focus settle on him with no intentions of leaving. When he looked up, he found her staring at him with a look that spelt 'sexual harassment', and tried hard not to notice the way she had leaned forward across the counter in a way that displayed her rather ample cleavage. (Something that Coots was greatly appreciating.)

"I'm so very glad to hear it, Coots. Make sure you send your lovely assistant with the report _as soon_ as it's done." She said, voice sultry and flirtatious as she continued to watch Cloud with those predatory eyes. "I do hope you are enjoying your first day as a volunteer." She purred in Cloud's direction, but didn't wait for his response before she picked up her files and swept back to her office.

When all that remained of her was the lingering scent of her perfume, Cloud jabbed a thumb in the direction she had left. "Who was that?"

Coots expression had returned to its usual sour state when he looked at Cloud. "It's the supervisor of this lab, Amelia Scott. She's only the most beautiful scientist that Shinra has, and has friends in all the right places, if you catch my drift. Been promoted more times than you've shaved. Now get me an envelope so I can wrap up this report." He snapped, quickly turning back to his work.

A light blinked on in Cloud's mind, and he almost smiled at his luck as he went to retrieve an envelope from the storage cupboard. He had just met the scientist with the highest clearance in this entire laboratory, and she was obviously in lust with him. He wasn't quite sure how he could spin it to his advantage, but at least having a target made the dreary time spent in Lab Monotonous seem much more worthwhile.

He tried hard not to hover as Coots finished the report, signing it with a flourish obviously meant for the supervisor's delight. When it was enveloped, sealed, and handed to him, Cloud tried to plan out a course of action as he walked into her office.

All thoughts of how he would convince her to show him her access card vanished, for as he walked in he saw the card of his desire right there in plain sight, on the flat of the desk she was seated behind. The Planet must have been pulling some strings, because things were just working out too well for him.

Attempting the nervously shy look, Cloud approached the desk. His expression must have gained her approval, for she leaned forward to display cleavage once more, beckoning him closer with the curl of a well manicured finger. "Hello again, Blondie." She purred, and Cloud felt that her eyes were eating him alive.

"Hi." Cloud said, hoping his voice sounded awed and enthused enough. "Where should I put this?" He asked, holding out the report for her, but making sure it was far enough away that she didn't simply reach out and take it from him.

"Oh that," She said, apparently having already forgotten the purpose of Cloud's visit, "Just put it on that stack, there." She motioned to the stack of papers and reports on the edge of her desk, and Cloud seized the opportunity.

"Alright, thank you, I-oops!" With a nervous tremble he 'accidently' knocked his hand into the stack of files a little too hard, sending them scattering to the floor. "I'm sorry!" He exclaimed, trying to look flustered and embarrassed, and apparently scattering her desk across the floor was not a big enough turn off to stop her from appreciating his expression.

"Oh my, here let me help!" She said, quickly getting to her feet to bend to the floor, scooping up the documents. Perhaps Cloud was supposed to be enjoying the view she was so willingly presenting, but the thought was lost on him completely. As soon as he was out of her line of sight, he casually snatched the card from her desktop, stuffing it into his pocket along with the other he had snagged.

Before she noticed, he bent to the floor to help her gather up the papers he had spilt, and offered them to her as she straightened, a shy smile across his face.

"I'm sorry about that." He said quietly, before he stepped back, looking towards the door. "Coots said he needed me really soon." Now was the time to get out of there before things went south, or she noticed that her card was no longer there. "I'll see you around?"

She seemed satisfied that he was enthralled with her, for she nodded with a smile before motioning him to the door with a flourish. "See you about, Sweetie." She cooed as Cloud left the office. And as he returned to Coot's side to finish off the last hour of his time, figuring it would seem a lot less suspicious if she happened to notice her card was missing, he couldn't help but be hopeful of what he had just found.

He had borrowed a laptop from a cadet a few doors down, saying that his had just crashed and he needed to finish a report that night. The boy agreed easily, apparently Cloud had enough of a reputation throughout the other cadets that he didn't question him or demand anything in return. Figuring that using someone else's computer might help, he made his way to the Shinra library. Leaving as little of a trail as possible, he logged in there, using the access card of the stolen supervisor.

As he logged into the network, Cloud nearly snarled when a password prompt popped onto his screen. This he hadn't expected, and while it was easy enough to steal a card, Cloud was in no way trained enough on a computer to figure out how to bypass or determine a password. Instead he thought back to his adventures in Shinra so many years ago, trying some of the passwords that he and his friend's had discovered. It was a long shot, and he wasn't surprised when none of them proved valid. Leaning back in the small office chair, trying not to draw attention from the other SOLDIER and cadet's around him, he was hard pressed to hide his exasperation.

There was nothing else he could do, except try various words that seemed like they might make a simple password, hoping that it would fit the woman's profile. When he typed in 'password', and the computer accepted it, bringing him to 'Welcome, Amelia Scott. You have three unread messages.' Cloud snorted. What was even the point of having such a complex security system, when those who used it failed to utilize it?

Quickly browsing through the files that he had been looking through before, he was pleased to see that she did indeed have much higher clearance. But after a long time spent searching through each document, there was nothing related to Jenova or her location. He hadn't expected it, knowing that only people like Hojo would ever have access to that kind of information, but he had wanted _something_.

Going instead to Amelia Scott's personal files, he searched through letters and boring communications, most of them requests to take her to lunch or details of reports that had been sent back and forth. It wasn't until he came across a passworded folder buried in her private files, that Cloud's interest was piqued. Wondering what was inside, he plugged in 'password', and was unsurprised when it gave him access to the folder.

What he found stunned Cloud into silence. Hundreds of files, many of them detailing locations and methods of terrorists bombings throughout Shinra's less protected reactor's and bases. Maps detailing locations of weapons, ammunition, and sensitive Shinra documents. The curvaceous woman who was seducing her way through the hierarchy of Shinra's laboratories, was apparently a mole for a an anti-Shinra terrorist organization. Collecting intelligence that she was then passing on to her terrorist cell. Looking for more information, Cloud dug through the files, finding that they weren't AVALANCHE, but were sharing common goals and even some intel. Thinking hard, Cloud was sure he had heard of the organization before, but they had been shut down by Shinra before they had accomplished anything.

Judging by the way their mole protected their files, it was not hard to see why they had been caught.

One of the files caught Cloud interest, and opening it he discovered that it was a collection of information about convoys being sent in and out of Midgar, what they contained and whether they would be a useful target for hijacking. Quickly scanning the list to find convoys back and forth between Nibelheim, Cloud's heart started to beat a little faster when he found them - all marked top secret. Some the mole had marked as building materials, ammunition and weapons. But many of them she did not know what they were, simply marking them with several question marks, and stating that they were heavily guarded. There was a pattern between the dates that these unknown convoys were being set out, and Cloud decided this was the most he was going to get from this level of clearance.

By this point there weren't many other people in the library, so Cloud quickly printed off the documents he thought might be useful, the lists of convoys to and from Nibelheim being the main priority. Considering for a moment, he singled out the folder containing all of the moles terrorist-related information, and deleted it all before logging out and shutting down the borrowed laptop. She would probably be miffed, unhappy that all the information had been located. But perhaps wiping it out would mean that they wouldn't be caught and shut down as fast. Deciding that asking her for a thank you and returning her card was not going to work, he threw the card into the garbage and quickly left the library.

After returning the laptop to the cadet he had borrowed it from, graciously thanking the boy, Cloud returned to his room with documents in hand. Sitting down to read through them, he had barely started plotting a pattern to see where Jenova might be, when there was a knock on the door.

"Hey Cloud, it's me!" Zack shouted, and Cloud realized that the door wasn't locked when Zack opened it and let himself in. Cursing, Cloud stuffed the papers quickly under his mattress, before staring in horror when he realized that all the materia he owned and First Sword were scattered across his bed and floor. Gathering everything up and throwing it onto the bed, then pulling a blanket over it, he quickly exited his bedroom, nearly crashing into Zack when he turned.

"Sorry," He apologized, smiling at Zack who was holding something behind his back. "What are you doing here?" He knew it was rather late, perhaps nine or ten, not a time when most people made social calls.

Grinning, Zack whipped out a pizza box from behind his back. "Thought you could use a snack, because I didn't see you in the cafeteria for supper." Zack announced. "It's takeout, but it's better than nothing. Let's eat!"

Leading Cloud to the small table of Cloud's room, thankfully far away from his rather lumpy bed, he left no room for argument. Cloud's saving the world and stolen documents would have to wait.


	8. Chapter 8  Unrequited

**Chapter 8 - Unrequited**  
In the end, things like sex, dating, and relationships had no real effect on how things worked out. Cloud had once maintained a perfectly normal relationship with a woman, raised two children as his own, and managed to do so without experiencing anything related to sexual contact. And yet, his significant other had died no less quickly because of his love, his children had been picked off by his enemies regardless of what he did to prevent it, and any sexual prowess or ability hardly helped him extend his life on the battlefield, like physical training and skill did.

And yet with Zack setting up a simple meal of pizza, soda, and coleslaw, Cloud couldn't help that his thoughts wandered to Zack's advances, and his general relationship with the man. He supposed he had a proper reason to want to be near Zack - the man was having dreams about him, dreams that might have to do with Cloud's past and therefore it was Cloud's business to find out. But that wasn't all Cloud wanted to ask Zack about. He still wasn't sure what to make of Zack's kiss, or the proclamation that he wanted something more than friendship from Cloud, even though he was sporting a more than suitable partner for such activities already.

And that was when he started to regret his thirty years of abstinence and his perfectly platonic relationship with the only person he'd ever loved. Perhaps he would know how to address the situation if he had lived his life differently. Perhaps if he hadn't spent four years of his youth in a lab, being poked and prodded and experimented upon. Perhaps if his youth before that hadn't been filled with bullying and neglect and useless feelings of self pity and doubt. His life after the first calamity had been spent rebuilding, either suffering a disaster or recovering from it. He had taken care of his family, but there had been no time to care about personal relationships. He was completely unequipped to handle the situation.

But he wasn't going to run away, because this was Zack. Perhaps it wasn't the Zack who had given his last breath trying to save Cloud's life, but it was still the same soul, the same life that had stayed with Cloud to the death, that had given up everything so Cloud could continue living. No matter what, Cloud was going to stand by the man who had done that for him, to repay the debt that he had at one time been unable.

Even if that particular man, and hero in Cloud's life, was currently shoving pizza in his face.

They ate in silence for a while, Zack was apparently starving, devouring half the pizza by himself before Cloud finished his second slice. When Zack's mouth wasn't constantly full to the point of bursting, Cloud decided to bring up a subject he would rather have put off. If he didn't do it now, he probably wouldn't be able to later.

"Angeal told me, that you had dreams." Cloud said uncomfortably, spinning the glass of soda between his hands in an almost nervous fidget. When Zack looked up, not saying anything but tilting his head to the side, Cloud clarified. "About me."

Zack finished chewing, using the time to consider, before he nodded. "Yeah. We're a bit older, and it's...complicated. A lot of things happen in them." The serious expression on Zack's face told Cloud enough for him to assume what exactly happened in them. Confronting his friends, being captured along with Cloud, experimented on, escaping, becoming a fugitive from Shinra. Death. Zack shrugged. "It's alright if you don't want to talk about it, though."

Cloud knew that it wasn't alright, by the tenseness in Zack's pose he knew that the other man didn't enjoy not knowing, hated having things hidden from him. But not knowing why Zack was having these dreams to begin with, Cloud didn't know what he could possibly tell him to assure him it was alright. Not without telling him _everything_, which Cloud was sure he would never be able to do.

"I'm not a threat, Zack." Cloud whispered, still staring into the murky depths of the soda in his glass. "No matter what Angeal says, I would _never_ hurt you. None of it is important-"

While Zack seemed eased and became more relaxed at Cloud's plea, he interrupted Cloud's final statement. "Maybe you should let someone else decide if it's important or not." He said, his voice soft so as not to offend Cloud, but it still made the small blond stiffen uncomfortably. Knowing he would make no progress that way, and as he did not want to ruin their meal, Zack promptly changed the subject. "Do you have any upcoming missions scheduled yet?"

Cloud didn't respond, still focused on what Zack had said. He knew that Zack was not trying to push him into a corner, not trying to confront him the way Angeal had done. But he still felt guilt settle deep into his stomach for keeping Zack in the dark. Maybe it wasn't important to him, but maybe it was important to Zack. But just the thought of sharing what had happened, the terror of not being believed, of being laughed at or mocked, the agony of reliving what he had gone through, of burdening the only friend he had with a past that did not involve him in this life at all - it was all enough to keep Cloud's mouth firmly shut.

Seeing that Cloud wasn't to be distracted by idle chatter, Zack reached over the table, putting his hand on top of Cloud's, and giving it a reassuring squeeze to draw the blond's attention out of his thoughts. "Whenever you're ready to talk, I'll be ready to listen. You don't have to push yourself."

Cloud was sure that he would never be ready to talk, but not wanting to draw this conversation out more, he simply smiled weakly at Zack. "Alright, I promise."

Their chatter lightened after that. Zack shared with Cloud some of the idle gossip around Shinra that Cloud never heard about himself. Some part of him hoped that someday Zack might hear something about Jenova, but until then he was content to just listen to the other man talk. It wasn't until there was a lull in the conversation, before Cloud gathered his nerve to ask.

"Why did you kiss me, before?"

Zack was surprised to be asked such a question. He probably assumed that someone would already know the answer to it, which made Cloud shift uncomfortably under the dark haired man's gaze. After a few silent moments, Zack broke into a smile, looking Cloud up and down. "You just looked kissable, I guess."

How on earth he could look kissable was beyond Cloud. He had received kisses for doing something nice for someone, when sharing a joyous moment with someone close to him, but what could drive someone to kiss him out of the blue with no provocation? Zack seemed to have noticed his confused expression, and this time his smile was more than just amused and earnest, it seemed a lot more...sly.

"You're looking pretty kissable again right now." He said, his voice thicker and more sultry than Cloud was used to, and he knew that his cheeks were probably reddening. Cloud's mind sputtered to a halt, his body tensed and he found himself grasping at what to do. However Zack seemed to take this inaction as a rejection, because he promptly added. "It's alright if you're not into guys, I'm just not the greatest at controlling myself in...heated situations."

Wondering if this counted as a heated situation, or even what a heated situation would entail, Cloud barely noticed the 'in to guys' part of Zack's comment. Did it matter who he was in to? He knew that he had loved Tifa dearly, however nothing else had ever come up, how would he be able to classify himself as straight or gay? He hadn't had sex with Tifa, but it hadn't been because of lack of attraction for her, it had been his own dysfunctions and failings, his fear to add something unknown and unfamiliar to a relationship he was so afraid of losing or destroying. Gender hardly seemed to matter.

"I'm not..." Cloud started, wondering how to reassure Zack that he wasn't turning him down, but just didn't know what accepting his proposal entailed. It struck him that he should play it cool, like he knew what he was doing so as not to scare Zack off with his inexperience, but if he was so determined not to hide things he could manage to Zack, wouldn't this be one of them? "I'm just not familiar with...what you are wanting."

This seemed to wipe all rejection out of Zack's posture, for he immediately perked up, grinning absolutely devilishly at Cloud. "If you want to find out, I'm more than willing to show you." He said with an absolute _purr_ in his voice, something that Cloud found oddly appealing.

He was obviously propositioning him, obviously eager to replicate he and Angeal's activities with Cloud. Though that thought led to another quite quickly. Zack was active with Angeal, Angeal was not on the best of terms with Cloud. Surely the man finding out that Cloud was doing something like _that_ with Zack would just increase hostilities further. "What about Angeal?"

This didn't so much dissuade Zack as confuse him. "What about him?"

Cloud felt blood fill his cheeks as he considered his wording. "I know about you...and Angeal." Cloud blurted out, and he wasn't sure it was possible to be any more embarrassed, staring at the table as he was unwilling to meet Zack's gaze. "I went to visit you yesterday morning and...you and Angeal were..." Cloud fumbled to an abrupt halt, sure that it would be enough to explain what had happened. Taking a tentative glance up at Zack, he saw the other man's cheeks flushing this time.

"Oh, I see..." Zack blushed harder, and Cloud found himself somewhat relieved that he wasn't the only one embarrassed and fumbling at the moment. "Well yeah...we...well you already know. I guess I should have told you or something." Zack stumbled, and Cloud finally managed to find his voice again.

"No, it's fine, I mean. I don't care what or who you do." He bit back the embarrassment long enough to finish his sentence. "I just thought, he might be mad if he found out."

"Oh, he wouldn't mind." Zack said quickly, apparently glad to be out of the awkward and embarrassing admission. "We share everything, with partners, well, we don't really slut around a lot. But I mean, if there's someone we like, we just let the other know. Angeal already knows I like you."

Perhaps Angeal was nice enough to Zack about it, but Cloud was now even more suspicious that Angeal's hostilities were partly fuelled by some sort of jealous hate. Shrugging he decided not to dwell on the subject, far too out of his area of expertise to comment on someone's relationship. If it worked for them, then they were already leagues ahead of Cloud's depth of knowledge.

"Still, I'm not really...I don't know much about..." Why was finishing that sentence so awkward? Why was admitting that he was a virgin and completely uneducated in the field so hard?

Grinning, Zack stood up and moved to Cloud's chair, reached for his arm and raised him to a standing position. Cloud knew he was blushing like a fool when Zack pulled him close, pressed him against the wall near their table, and ducked his head close, lips a hair's breadth from Cloud's. "I told you I could teach you." Zack whispered then. His body pressed against Cloud's was driving away most of the blond's ability to think, the other man was so _warm_ and so _real_. Not just a ghost from his past, but a living, breathing person who was right _there_ and holding him close. It was both arousing and comforting, and Cloud decided that speech at this point was beyond him.

Instead he closed the small space between their lips, pressing them to Zack's clumsily, but it was all the larger boy needed. Zack's lips were softer than Cloud's, who's were slightly chapped. But they felt good pressed against them. Zack's hands had moved from Cloud's sides to his head, cupping each cheek and guiding him gently. Tilting his head to the side, he deepened the kiss, running his tongue across Cloud's lips before pushing deeper, seeking access. Cloud opened his mouth, sure he shouldn't be so surprised as Zack's tongue met his, rubbed against it and challenged it to action. Cloud responded, kissing back and mimicking Zack's movements, something that Zack responded to with a moan, pressing his body harder against Cloud's, rocking his hips excitedly and Cloud felt his cheeks flush a little deeper when he felt something solid rocking against him as well.

He had kissed Tifa before, solid kisses that she appreciated, responded to. But Cloud had never felt such heat in response, had never been quite as overwhelmed, and he knew that his control then had been greater, his determination not to tempt himself with something that could ruin them, firm. But Zack was leading this, someone that he trusted guiding him and showing him what he wanted, and somehow that made it easier for Cloud, easier to just relax and let the other boy hold him, kiss him, and probably do whatever he wanted to him.

When a loud ringing joined their heavy breathing and wet moans, Zack broke away to mutter some profanity that made Cloud smile. Zack seemed unwilling to pull completely away, only enough to fish into his pocket to pull out his phone. There was still a warm, solid hardness pressing into Cloud's hip, and resting his forehead on Cloud's neck as he found the number on the ringing phone. Apparently whoever it was seemed important, because Zack whined. Pressing a departing kiss to cloud's neck he pulled away to answer it. There was only a short order from the man on the other end, before Zack said, "Alright, I'm on my way." Before hanging up.

Cloud was still panting to regain his breath before Zack descended on him again, giving him a long, hard kiss before he pulled away. "I really got to go." He whispered against Cloud's lips, watching as the blond shivered against the contact. "We'll have to stop here for now, a good first lesson." He whispered with a smile, which Cloud returned with a blush. "We'll resume later." Zack said, before straightening his clothes, running a hand through his hair and obviously trying to regain his composure.

As Zack exited the room, Cloud was left hating Angeal, sure that it was he who had called Zack away, and interrupted their fun.

With a groan, Cloud considered looking over the documents, but quickly cast that thought aside, knowing he would not be able to concentrate in his debauched state. So instead he walked to his lumpy bed, pushing his materia and First Sword off the mattress, before climbing in and praying that sleep would find him quickly.

That night, Cloud didn't sleep well. The planet seemed to have sensed that, for a few shining moments, he had let his mind go completely off track, completely focused on Zack. Or perhaps it was simply stressing the urgency, now that he had gained some knowledge in his goal, now that he could find out where Jenova was, how often they were moving her, what damage had already been done with her cells.

_'Jenova needs to be destroyed. She cannot contaminate the lifestream further. No records can be left. Never again be reawakened by twisted humans.'_

Cloud found that he couldn't respond loud enough for them to hear him. Perhaps because he was asleep, because he was unfocused and weary and could not project his thoughts strongly enough for his own mind to fathom them.

_'Final Weapon was followed. Much more of the lifestream than intended was taken back in time. The Darkness as well, some of it travelled back. This world will end much sooner, should it not be stopped.'_

Should the contamination continue much longer, should records not be removed, The Planet would be far more susceptible to attempts to destroy it with its own contamination. Thoughts of Hojo, Deep Ground, and the unknown cult that had sparked the final calamities of the Planets life - Jenova had to be removed, and her infection stopped before these people once again led the Planet to its destruction. The Planet was running out of weapons, Omega had already been destroyed, and Final Weapon had been exactly as its name suggested - the last of The Planet's arsenal.

Cloud was the last weapon that The Planet had created, and they were determined that he remember this, haunting his dreams to remind him of why it was so important.

But how much damage had already been done? How much would have to be reversed? How many lives had he and his friend's touched in the past, how many wrongs had they righted? He was alone now, nobody behind him, no gang of motley heroes to save the world. How would he alone be able to accomplish so much?

_'Only the big things, are your concern, my love.'_ A voice that was different than the usual whisper The Planet took said, it's melodic breath soothing to him. _'You are to protect the lifestream from contamination, in the end - humanity must make its own decisions, care for itself.'_

So did it matter that Shinra was ran by a horrid man? Did it matter that they would destroy, murder, and slaughter thousands of innocent people, monopolize energy and wealth to put themselves even higher above the civilian population? No. In the end, all that mattered was that Shinra stopped polluting the lifestream, stopped stealing from it to fuel their everyday lives. But that contamination and leeching was slight in comparison, Cloud was sure that there was someone else out there who would fight for that cause, many people who would want Shinra to stop stealing from the lifestream, and stand against them.

Still overwhelmed by the prospect, Cloud finally sunk into a deeper sleep, away from the pestering words of The Planet that tormented him so. But even in his deepest dreams, he could not find rest from the hounding of his past. Instead he dreamed of what he had missed out on, what he hoped he could have forgotten.

_She had gotten too close, her body pressed against him too tempting, to terrifying, too comforting. Indulging would mean trying to move forward, something that would inevitably lead to pain. Too many things could go wrong, and he had invested far too much of himself in this love to lose it. If he did, it would break him, and he would never be able to recover from that again._

Pulling out of the kiss that had started out as platonic, comforting, he raised his hands against her shoulders, pressing her into the wall they were leaned against as he took a step away.

"I'm not ready." He admitted quietly, looking at the floor as he could not meet her gaze and admit his own weakness at the same time. "I'm not ready for this yet."

Tifa's eyes were kind when he met them, sad and tired, but kind. He knew how much he challenged her, knew how far he pushed her every day he stayed with her. But he couldn't imagine life without her, told her that whenever she felt tired out or worn down, and that seemed enough to keep her going.

Defeated in her attempts, when she reached to cup his face it was platonic, soothing and comforting in the touch's kindness. "You'll never be ready." She whispered, and though she sounded hurt, the words were not accusing. Silently avoiding her gaze, Cloud cast about for what to say. He could not simply walk away, could not simply leave. He needed her there by his side, even if not in his bed, needed her to trust him that she was in his heart and mind, even if he could not prove it physically.

"You know I care for you." He said quietly, and this seemed to soften her, voicing of his affections the greatest gratitude he could offer her. "You know it's not that I don't love you."

"I know." She whispered, "I understand." And Cloud knew that she was not lying. She had been with him for so long, she knew well of all his failings. Cloud had expected her to leave, expected her to become exasperated with his flaws. No woman should love a man who was too broken, too defeated to truly love her back. No woman should stay by that man's side, loyal and true to him to her dying breath. Not when there were so many who could love her so much better than he could, who could give her so much more.

And yet here she was, despite that. Why, Cloud could not understand, but he grew to love her more for it each day she smiled at his progress, each day she encouraged him to keep moving forward, to keep fighting everything he struggled against. How he could live without it, he did not know. How he could function without her love, her encouragement, a mystery, one that he never wanted to solve.

"You know me," she finally laughed, "Sometimes I just can't control myself." She whispered, pressing a soothing hand against his hair, running it through it in a way that hardly made the unruly spikes more presentable. And that was it, she was not broken as he was, she was a wonderful woman with needs and wants, and sometimes it bothered her how much she wanted Cloud. Sometimes she tried to show him, sometimes she had to check, just to see if he had changed.

"You are everything to me." He whispered back, allowing her to hug him, stroking her silky raven hair as he held her close.

"I know." She mumbled into his neck, before finally pulling away from the embrace and turning away from him. Cloud found his neck was wet, and he caught a bare glimpse of tears on her face before she turned away, a sight that made him weak with pain. "I feel the same."

And then she had left, leaving Cloud with his self loathing thoughts.

She had offered him everything, she had been exactly what he had needed for all those years. And now that he wished and longed for that comfort, that love, now that he _ached_ for that companionship, it was far too late to finally accept it.

Several days later the weather had changed from pleasantly warm summer days, to morbidly hot and sweltering. The air conditioners all through the Shinra building had been running at maximum for two days, supplying those inside with cool relief. But when one was training as hard as Cloud and Zack were, there just weren't enough air conditioners in the entire Shinra building to keep a body cool.

When the weekend came, Zack had asked Cloud to join him for a training session, saying that a week of classes was making him soft, and he needed a good hard training session to break him in again before Angeal got to him. Cloud had been happy to oblige. Three hours of hard training later, and Cloud could tell that Zack was regretting his choice in training partner. The blond was hot and tired, but was used enough to fighting in such conditions that continuing to push didn't bother him. But after the end of a particularly gruelling training mission, Zack protested loudly at the idea of starting another.

"I'm so fucking hot, I'm going to melt." Zack whined, casting a gaze across to the air conditioner and the several bottles of water that were sitting next to it. "I'm going to overheat and die if you push me any harder." He said accusingly, expecting the threat of his life to change Cloud's mind.

There wasn't going to be another opportunity to train with Zack's higher level missions until the next time they were together, and with a mission coming up, Cloud knew that he wasn't going to get such an opportunity again any time soon. "We can take a break." He said, figuring that after Zack cooled off, he would be more willing to continue training.

The dark haired SOLDIER gave him a long suffering sigh, before he nodded his agreement. "Fine, but you owe me, you're a bigger slave driver than Angeal." He whined.

They moved in front of the air conditioner, Zack nearly hugging it in his attempt to cool down. Finding a bottle of water, even Cloud could admit that drinking the icy liquid did wonders for his stamina, soothing his parched throat and settling his stomach. After a few blissful minutes of sitting in front of the air conditioner, Zack seemed to have regained some energy. He found a bottle of water and drained most of it in a single guzzle, before pouring the rest over his head. "It is so hot, it should be a crime." He mumbled, before taking a long look over at Cloud, who caught his gaze much like a spider catching a fly in its web. "Speaking of which." Zack grinned, before casually walking to Cloud, who felt even more like that trapped fly.

"Speaking of crimes, or heat?" Cloud asked warily, holding his water bottle in front of him, as if it would protect him from the oh so predatory Zack. Now with his hair dripping wet, and still shining with sweat from the work out, and sultry eyes that spoke of all sorts of indecent things, Cloud found himself doubting that just a water bottle would scorn off any advances. And when those eyes met his, he found himself wondering why he would want to, in the first place.

"We should go back to training," He said quietly, just as Zack moved into him, pushing him back against the wall and pressing their bodies together. "We should-" He was promptly cut off when Zack's lips met his, massaging and pressing, gentle and exploring. The kiss was enough to shatter any reason Cloud had for wanting to go back and train, this felt far more pleasurable. When Zack pulled away, kissing his way from Cloud's mouth, down his jaw to his neck, he grinned against hot skin.

"I think training can wait." Zack whispered, locking his mouth over Cloud's pulse, laving it with his tongue and drawing blood to the surface of Cloud's skin. Somewhere along the lines, Cloud lost grip on his water bottle, and it thumped to the ground as Zack pressed their bodies tighter. His hands were on Cloud's hips, offering leverage as he pulled them together, grinding into Cloud in a way that made the blond flush with embarrassment. Unsure of where to put his hands, he tentatively put them on Zack's shoulders, finding that it was comfortable, and allowed their chests to be flat together.

"What if...someone sees." Cloud whispered against Zack's neck, the other man's mouth preoccupied with nipping and kissing his shoulder, his hands starting to make a determined effort at pushing up the shirt of Cloud's uniform, accessing the skin beneath. "Someone...could walk in." He breathed, just before Zack claimed his mouth again, shoving his shirt upwards across his collar bones.

"They'll get an eyeful, then." Zack responded breathily, his voice husky and full with something even Cloud could identify as arousal. Things were moving fast, and Cloud realized belatedly that Zack was keeping this speed so Cloud didn't over think things, not giving him a chance to catch his control or become overly concerned with what was happening. Instead all he could do was respond to Zack's ministrations, panting heavily under his mouth, bucking his hips in rhythm with the other, sure by now that he was just as hard as Zack as they ground themselves together.

It was way too hot for this, and even with his shirt up, his body heat was overwhelming. Zack seemed to feel this on his skin, and was quickly trying to shed Cloud of his uniform. Lifting his arms up, he helped Zack pull his top off of him, exposing his chest to the coolness of the air conditioning, and the heat of Zack's body. Zack was lowering his head to run his mouth down Cloud's shoulder, his collar bone, then across his chest. Finally he stopped with a single pink nipple, rubbing his tongue across it to cause Cloud to involuntarily shiver, unsure of why his nipple was so sensitive to the touch.

Zack grazed it with teeth, nipping lightly before kissing it almost apologetically for the twinge of not quite pain it sent through Cloud's body. Cloud's breathing was laboured, and as Zack moved lower across his body, he let his fingers tangle in the other man's messy hair. As the other man sank to his knees, mouth moving down across Cloud's trembling stomach, the blond gasped and tried hard not to pull on the hair in his grasp. Zack's fingers had moved to the fly of his pants, unzipping and starting to pull them down his hips.

"Zack..." Cloud panted, as the dark haired man's tongue swirled into his belly button for a moment. As it travelled lower, his squirming got more insistent, and when Zack's hands pulled his pants and boxers down to his knees, burying his nose into tufts of pale pubic hair, Cloud found himself trembling. It wasn't until that dastardly tongue of his friend found its way to the tip of his length that he lost control.

"Zack!" He moaned, hands gripping tight onto the other man's shoulders, using them and the wall at his back to keep himself standing, as he was sure by now his knees were too weak to support his weight. "What are you...!" He couldn't speak after Zack's mouth worked its way down his length, engulfing it in a hot, wet heat that drove thought altogether out of Cloud's mind. This was why people didn't remain celibate for years, he gathered. The pure, primal pleasure that drove all worries and concerns from one's mind, if only for a moment.

Cloud looked down in time to meet Zack's eyes, the shining blue seeming to stare straight through him, and the absolute carnal desire made him groan in pleasure. This man _lusted_ for him, was absolutely and totally aroused by his presence, wanted to do things foreign and definitely dirty to Cloud.

When Zack, never breaking eye contact, completely engulfed his length, swallowing it to the back of his throat, Cloud moaned, trying to buck forward into that warmth, but finding his hips pinned against the wall by Zack's hands to prevent it. Up and down, that delicious mouth moved, stroking Cloud into sheer bliss. He threw his head back, knowing it hit the wall but not feeling any pain, his hips rocking against the other man's hands, his eyes closed tight as he tried to find some measure of control.

The more he tried to find control, the further away it seemed, and somewhere in that desperate chase, Cloud felt the pleasure build to its peak, and he knew he couldn't hold on any more. "Zack!" He cried as his body stiffened, jerking where he stood, tensed to the maximum but completely unaware.

It was several long moments before he found his mind again, pulling himself together as he panted hard, flushing with absolute embarrassment as he watched Zack wipe what could only be Cloud's cum from the corner of his mouth. Standing up, Zack promptly pressed their bodies together, wrapping an arm around Cloud's neck, and pulling him close for a kiss before he could completely regain himself.

Zack's mouth tasted with a bitterness that Cloud recognized as his own semen, something that brought color deeply to his face as he let Zack plunder his mouth. It wasn't until Zack pulled back that Cloud was allowed a chance to breathe, and focusing his eyes squarely on Zack, he tried to speak as well.

"That was..."

"Mind blowing was what I was going for." Zack whispered, finding Cloud's ear with his teeth and nipping it playfully. "Though, warn a guy next time."

Cloud coloured, realizing what Zack meant, realizing that he had been so caught up in trying to maintain control that he hadn't seen his orgasm coming at all. "Sorry." He muttered, hands going to Zack's biceps. "I've never...It was good." He admitted, nuzzling his nose into the crook of Zack's shoulder as a form of thanks. The other boy's hands had worked themselves down Cloud's back to his ass, kneading and massaging it.

"You're really cute like this." Zack grinned, rubbing his hips provocatively against Cloud's hip, showing that while Cloud had finished, Zack was still desperately aroused. "Flustered and off your game." He said as a response to Cloud's quizzical look. "Makes me feel like I'm actually older than you."

Cloud opened his mouth to say something. What, he wasn't sure. Perhaps to offer some relief to Zack, though he wasn't sure how. Perhaps to chastise him for discreetly making fun of his reaction to sex. But he didn't have to make up his mind, because just when he tried to speak, there was a ringing from the pocket of his pants that was hanging around his knees.

Zack practically snarled, still rutting against Cloud's hip, obviously needing the attention. Cloud considered ignoring it, before he remembered. "I'm supposed to be getting a call for a mission briefing." He mumbled, and as reality came crashing down he felt somewhat disappointed that they hadn't trained further, before he had ran out of time. Not that their alternative activities hadn't been immensely entertaining.

Zack's ill temper faded, and Cloud knew he understood that duty was important -he had already once interrupted their playtime for official business. "I guess you'd better get it then." Zack said, the huskiness in his voice still apparent as he pulled himself away from Cloud. The other boy was dishevelled and needy, and Cloud felt guilt start to settle in his stomach as he fished the phone out of his pocket, flipping it open and answering it.

Zack helped him pull up his pants, finding his shirt for him as Cloud conversed with the dispatcher. Of course he was needed right away, not giving him any time to finish up with Zack. Frustrated, Cloud hung up quickly and stuffed the phone into his pocket, looking at Zack who was attempting to straighten his clothes and hair.

"I'm really sorry-" Cloud began, but Zack only grinned, hugging Cloud close quickly.

"Don't worry, you can pay me back later." He whispered into Cloud's ear before giving it a kiss, then letting go and let the blond escape. "Hope they don't send you off on anything too risky." He said, drawing attention away from his arousal and Cloud's departure, which made it a little easier for Cloud to nod his agreement.

"See you around." He said, giving Zack a slight wave. "Thanks for the training, and...everything else." He said in a hurry, a blush staining his cheeks as he quickly spun around to hide it, exiting the training center quickly.

This left Zack, still in a terrible state. Doing a few squats in an attempt to burn off excess energy, Zack threw his head back and groaned. "Broken knee caps, dead kittens, ingrown toenails." Zack repeated as a mantra to himself, and when it had limited effect, he knew it was time for a cold shower.


	9. Chapter 9  Dinner and Interrogation

**Chapter 9 - Dinner and Interrogation**  
The conference room was as drab as Cloud remembered it. And as he sat down in one of the uncomfortable chairs to wait for his briefing, after quickly showering before running there, he found himself wishing he had spent a little more time with Zack before he had left. If he had known that they would be late in getting here, then he was sure he could have spared a few extra minutes.

However, just when his regretful thoughts were about to reach their peak, the door opened, and a well dressed man and woman entered. There were only few curt words of greeting before they launched into the presentation of his mission, and Cloud found himself completely underwhelmed with the task at hand.

Three Wutaian prisoners were currently being temporarily held in Corel Prison. Shinra now felt that the security of that prison had been compromised, and because of such, these prisoners were to be escorted to Costa Del Sol, where they would be shipped across to the prison in Junon for further interrogation. They were considered prisoners deserving of top level security, and so they were to be escorted by a handful of 3rd Class SOLDIER -and Cloud.

Cloud knew that he should have felt excited, as it was a special privilege to be assigned on a mission that was reserved for SOLDIER. Yet knowing that he would be unable to do any research into Shinra, unable to train, unable to move forward with his main goal, he couldn't help his annoyance. Then again, perhaps getting away from Zack and the heat that the man brought would be a good thing. A chance to cool his head, gather his thoughts, and regain his self control.

And yet, even as he was considering spending less time wrapped around Zack, guilt washed over him when he remembered the state he had left the other man in. And as he accepted the mission and signed several papers, he was already planning to go back to Zack's room to speak with him. Maybe to apologize, perhaps to explain that he was still unsure of where Zack wanted to take things. He had to say _something_ to the man before he left, so as he exited the briefing room, he found himself taking the elevator to SOLDIER's quarters.

Still unsure of what exactly he would say to the older SOLDIER, he was running possible conversations over in his head as he exited the elevator. Oblivious to his surroundings, he failed to notice when he nearly ran into the object of his attentions.

"Cloud!" Zack exclaimed, quickly pulling him away from the elevator door where he was holding up another SOLDIER wishing to exit. "What are you doing here?" Though by the excitement in his tone, it was obvious Zack knew he was the reason Cloud had come.

"Oh, I just wanted to...talk to you." Cloud said, suddenly realizing how pointless his actions were. Any SOLDIER could leave on a mission, knowing that any comrade would understand. And yet, here he was, regardless of such reasoning. "I leave on my mission tomorrow morning. I just wanted to say goodbye." He muttered quickly, trying to avoid any further embarrassment.

"Oh, I was just on my way to dinner with Angeal." Zack said with a pleasant smile. Cloud nodded his understanding, before turning away.

"Don't let me keep you. I just wanted to let you know that the mission will keep me away for a few days." He said quietly. "I'll see you when I get back?"

"Hey, wait." Zack said, grabbing Cloud's arm suddenly, grabbing his full attention. "Why don't you come have dinner with us?"

Supper involving Angeal did not seem like a very good idea, but when Cloud started to decline, Zack was already pulling into the elevator. "It'll be great!" Zack said happily, as if Cloud had just agreed. "The food is so much better than the slop they serve in the cafeteria. One good meal before your mission and you'll be set for any hell they throw at you!" Zack beamed with complete self-assurance.

Zack sounded so thrilled with the idea of having Cloud over for supper, that the blond couldn't really find it in himself to rip his arm away and run for it. Still, he was wary. Angeal was not on the best of terms, but at least if Zack was there the man would resist any temptation to dig into Cloud again. Or so he hoped.

He realized belatedly that he was still in the uniform he had worn to the mission briefing, and while he had showered quickly after training, he wondered if there was any sort of expectation as to what someone wore to dinner. Zack was wearing a simple black t-shirt and a pair of jeans, but the t-shirt just showed off how defined his torso was, and the jeans clung to him in all the right places. Cloud felt downright frumpy in comparison.

"Should I change?" He asked quietly, leaning closer to Zack when he spoke so that the others in the elevator would not overhear. They were already on their way up to the First's flats, which answered that question in itself, but he figured he should ask anyways.

"But your cadet uniform looks so good on you." Zack protested, loud enough to draw attention of those sharing the elevator, causing heat to fill Cloud's cheeks.

But it didn't matter, because the elevator stopped and they quickly got off. Zack grabbed Cloud's hand and led him down the hall, leaving no room for second thoughts. The difference between the cadet quarters and the SOLDIER quarters was stark enough, but First Class seemed to net you your own high class apartment at the top of the housing complex. A few people lingered in the hallways, looking far too clean and well dressed for Cloud's comfort, but they hardly seemed to notice Zack and his cadet friend.

It occurred to Cloud that this would be a good place to snag an access card, but he pushed that thought from his mind. First Class did not have access to Shinra's secrets. In fact, Shinra strove it's hardest to keep people like Sephiroth in the dark. No First Class would have access to information that could potentially harm the loyalty of some of Shinra's greatest tools and weapons.

When Zack didn't stop at any of the doors along the hallway, and instead lead them out into a stairwell, Cloud was wondering at how inconvenient it could be to gain access to living quarters. Zack seemed to catch this, which made him laugh. "Only Angeal has a card with clearance to his quarters. It's a flat - basically he has an entire floor to himself. Genesis and Sephiroth both get the same treatment. Part of being a general I guess. Elevators take you right up, stairs only take you to the front door."

"Must be nice at the top." Cloud muttered, which drew another laugh from Zack. Fortunately Angeal's apartment was only up one flight of stairs, and after punching a code into a keypad at the top, they entered a small landing with a finely crafted wooden door at the end of it.

Angeal opened the door on the second knock, smiling when he saw Zack he stepped aside to let him in. When he saw Cloud standing behind him, the blond wished he had refused to come when the smile left Angeal's features. The searching look Angeal gave him was terrifying of itself. The man was far too suspicious, seeing far too much as he looked at Cloud. And yet, he didn't slam the door in Cloud's face or ask him to leave, as Cloud assumed he would. Instead, he simply cast a look at Zack, saw the whining, pleading eyes that Zack gave him, and stood aside to let Cloud in. He was obviously not going to deny this request from his Puppy.

Dinner seemed to already be prepared, the smells from the kitchen incredible. Cloud found his stomach turning with the urge to fill it. The table had been set for two, but Angeal quickly rectified it by bringing out extra cutlery and a plate. He set a place for Cloud across the table from Zack.

They sat down to eat, and as the food was passed around, Cloud could feel Angeal's piercing gaze on him, scanning him for whatever Angeal thought he might find. Cloud thought perhaps that Zack had already told Angeal what had transpired that morning, but no lewd comments were made by either party, which made soothed Cloud's concern.

The food however, was the final nail in doubt's coffin. He was glad he came, if only for the food. Tifa's cooking was a lifetime away. Even in his past life he had missed out on it due to the war. But he remembered it tasting something like this, delicious and well made, albeit not as elaborately arranged as Angeal's meal was. The man's method of preparing and arranging food a form of art. A far cry from living off of hypers, which had been his reality for much too long. And Shinra's cafeteria food was not much better.

"This is really good." Cloud spoke quietly between bites. "I haven't eaten food like this in...a very long time."

"Angeal's amazing, isn't he?" Zack grinned, quite enjoying the pleased look on his mentor's face.

"The cafeteria has nothing on this." Cloud agreed, before settling into silence as he ate.

"Living off the cafeteria food is like missing out on half your life. You really need to start eating takeout, at least. But you'd gain so much weight if you ate food like this every day."

Angeal broke his silence. "Cafeteria food gives those in training enough energy to function, but not much else. People usually spend their salaries on real food."

Cloud remained silent as conversation between Angeal and Zack picked up as their stomach's started to fill. It struck Cloud that he had butt in on alone time that they probably enjoyed, but it wasn't long before Zack made an effort to drag him into the conversation.

"How did your mission briefing go? Get to do anything fun? Undercover work? Are you going to Wutai?"

"Nothing like that." Cloud said. He was that Shinra wouldn't put someone who wasn't SOLDIER on a mission that was so important or vital. "Just an armed escort. It'll be like a vacation from all the training I've been doing."

"Speaking of your training," Angeal mentioned lightly in the lull that followed, "Zack's VR room records have been skyrocketing lately. I'm assuming this is related to your training regime?"

Cloud tried not to get defensive, there was no malice or accusation in the man's tone. Obviously he just wanted to confirm that it wasn't just Zack's training that was piling up on the other man's records. "Uh, could be." Cloud said, not looking at Angeal, instead focusing on his napkin which he was folding and refolding nervously in his hands.

Angeal seemed to accept this as admittance enough, because he only smiled. "Well, don't push yourself too hard. A SOLDIER spends his whole life training, don't burn yourself out trying to do it all at once." Cloud had already spent one lifetime training, he was only trying to regain what he had lost. He was sure his body could take it, his mind certainly could, but he wasn't going to say anything to Angeal about that.

Their conversation steered to Zack's performance in his recently completed missions. Angeal took the time to compare Zack's runs with the ones that had obviously been Cloud. Pointing out what they could both improve, what they excelled at, what their weaknesses were and how to properly hide them. It struck Cloud that Angeal was no slouch in his determination to mentor Zack. He studied every mission Zack ran, knew his way of fighting intimately. Knew where he had improved and where his failings were. He was equally skilled in relaying it all back to Zack, encouraging him and teaching him at the same time.

"You were far above the expected average, in even your very first VR runs." Angeal said, turning his attention to Cloud for a moment, and suddenly the blond realized that Angeal had probably studied every run he had done in the VR room as well, something he wasn't sure he was happy about. "You must have had some kind of training before entering Shinra?"

Cloud immediately recognized the question for the trap it was. Cloud of the past had entered Shinra reporting no formal training, and that was not a story he could change. This made things a little more complicated, but...

"No, I had no formal training."

"But you had a mentor, who taught you what you know?"

Angeal had obviously been speaking to Zack, the conversation he and the young SOLDIER had was now fair game. Something told Cloud he was being set up. Alarm bells were ringing in his head, telling him to stop talking to the man and leave. But Angeal had him cornered with his polite inquiries, and Cloud knew he couldn't just get up and go without causing even more suspicion.

"Yes. " He answered simply, sure that Angeal had already heard everything he had told Zack. "A warrior in Nibelheim trained me."

"Your mother recently confirmed that there was no such man in Nibelheim, and that you received no such training." Cloud felt like he had been kicked in the face, his appetite disappeared and was replaced with nausea. It had been a mistake coming here, a mistake assuming that Angeal would not confront him with Zack present. Zack himself was pressed against the back of his chair, looking cautiously between Cloud and Angeal, almost holding his breath in trepidation. Cloud's hands were bunched into fists, the napkin he had been holding crushed tightly inside of one.

"Just what are you implying?" He snarled finally, hoping he did not sound as defensive as he felt.

"That you are lying about who you are. Why do your eyes glow with mako, when you've never been treated with it? I already confirmed with your mother that you never came into contact with any mako _spill_. Why are you so skilled with a sword that's twice your size, when you've had no training? Where do you come from? Who do you work for?"

"Angeal..." Zack whispered, perhaps as a warning, but both Cloud and Angeal ignored it. Cloud was angry, fuming even. Being called a liar and drilling him with questions was a good way to get under his skin in a hurry. But at the same time, that anger was tempered with the cold panic settling into his stomach. This man could ruin him. A few words to the higher ups in Shinra, and Cloud would find himself either kicked out or arrested before he could blink. He had come far enough now that he did not want to be forced to leave before he finished -Shinra was pivotal in finding and locating Jenova. Angeal believed that Cloud was a threat, suspected him of something terrible, and the blond was cornered under the older man's accusations.

"I'm not hiding anything important. I'm not a threat-"

"Bullshit!" Before he could finish, Angeal jumped to his feet, obviously angry. "Why should we trust a word you say, when you don't trust us enough to explain what's going on? Why should we believe you're not a threat, when you've yet to prove it?"

"I haven't done anything to hurt anybody." Cloud whispered, an almost desperate argument that if he was indeed a threat, wouldn't have hurt someone?

"Yet!" Angeal countered, "How long will that last?"

The man radiated absolute distrust, and Cloud was sure that no matter what he said, Angeal would not believe him. He was backed into a corner, and it was doing terrible things to his nervous system. When Angeal opened his mouth to throw more accusations, Cloud finally snapped.

Slamming his hands on the table he pushed himself to his feet, glaring daggers at the older SOLDIER. "If I was so dangerous, then why am I still here? Why haven't you reported me to Shinra? Because you've got no god damn proof! You know so much about my childhood, so when do you think I started planning all the sinister things you are accusing me of? What the hell do you think a fifteen year old cadet is capable of?"

Zack was cursing quietly under his breath, his gaze darting back and forth between the two very angry men who seemed more than capable of murder at that moment.

"I don't know _what_ you are capable of." Angeal, said dangerously. Somehow his voice was just as terrifying in that low, threatening tone than when he was shouting. "But your stats are all out of whack, your combat skills uncanny-you could hurt so many people so easily with those abilities. This on top of being profiled as overly stressed and possibly unstable, with no records as to what has caused any of it. If you are on some kind of home grown steroids than at least _say something._ Your compulsive lying and cover-ups have to stop."

He couldn't explain those things, there was no way he could tell the truth, and he was all out of excuses. He had no way to defend himself, and all the rage and anger he had felt, was draining away from him, replaced with a cold form of despair. His head was spinning with thoughts and he could hear the planet whispering to him, obviously concerned that he would break, but their voices were too garbled to make out, not providing him with any help at all. "I'm _not_ lying when I say I'm no threat, and I'm _not_ unstable or dangerous." Cloud whispered, realizing at this point he was shaking, and wanted to be anywhere but there. He found his gaze darting towards the door, unhappily noting how Angeal's intimidating form was standing between him and it.

Angeal seemed to have noticed that Cloud was shutting down with panic. Seeing how far he had pushed the small blond, how close to hysteria Cloud was, he backed off, relaxed, and sat down. "Please, sit and finish your meal." He said quietly, leaving Cloud the only one standing, shakily as he was. "We'll continue this some other time." It was both a promise and a threat, but Cloud already knew that he could never get into this situation again. There would be no other time, and as he stood, collecting his control, he was already planning on how to completely remove contact with Angeal from his life. The first step would be to get his own training card, independent of Zack's suspicious mentor and his interference.

Cloud had enough survival instincts to mark Angeal as a threat, a danger that had to be avoided. Cloud sat down, glad he did when his knees turned to rubber, removing running from the room as an option, despite how much he wanted to. Persecuted by those around him while he suffered the torment of complete isolation, of being the planets weapon, of being utterly alone, Cloud was sure he had ample reason to simply break down.

He refused to look up from his plate, even though the sight of food, previously so appealing, made him nauseous. Zack let out a loud relieved sigh, as if he thought perhaps things had diffused and ended well.

Cloud almost felt betrayed, disappointed that Zack had not stood up to defend him. Yet it was a strong reminder of the way things were. The Zack of his life had died protecting him, would have saved him from anything no matter how minor, or how serious. However this world's Zack belonged to Angeal, and that's where his loyalties would lay. Zack was interested in him, but it was for friendly, carnal pursuits. When Zack had satisfied these interests, he would return to Angeal, leaving Cloud's loyalties unreturned.

And perhaps that was why the Planet was so desperate to keep him on track whenever he became distracted. Knowing that in this world he would only find that he did not belong, and that his old life and his old friends were completely unobtainable. The only peace he could find would be after his task was complete, when he returned to the planet that he so obediently served.

Dully, he noticed that Zack and Angeal were now chatting amiably once more. "A month from now and we'll all be on holidays, huh?" Zack said cheerfully, trying hard to lighten the mood and shift their thoughts. "I could really use a break with all these tests and training."

This was news to Cloud, who hadn't known they had holidays coming up. Instead of saying anything, he instead planned on how he could use that time. How much he could accomplish while unhindered by Shinra's many requirements and activities.

"We're definitely going to Costa Del Sol, right? And the Golden Saucer!" And while Zack animatedly discussed these plans, Cloud did not feel sporting enough to add anything to the conversation. This wasn't his Zack, he reminded himself, because it was so easy to get confused. The same spirit, perhaps, but the Zack he longed for had died on a cliff facing Midgar, and all memory of him had died with the lifestream. Cloud smiled sadly, remembering Zack's final words to him. "You are the proof that I existed." If only Zack knew how true those words would become.

"You'll come with us too, right?" Zack said, finally nudging Cloud to get the blond's attention, dragging him from his thoughts. "Costa Del Sol is the perfect place for a vacation. You could definitely use it."

Cloud shrugged, unwilling to agree to any plans that involved Angeal. "I hadn't thought about it."

Angeal got up, gathering the dishes from the table. He seemed to make a great effort to ignore the way Cloud tensed when he took his plate, returning to the kitchen with the dirty dishes in tow. When Cloud looked up, he saw Zack watching him, an apologetic expression on his face.

"Angeal won't bother you any more, if you'd like to stay and play cards with us." Zack offered, transparently hopeful that Cloud would accept.

Despite that, Cloud shook his head in polite refusal. "I've ruined your evening enough, I won't intrude any longer." Perhaps sounding a little hollow, tired out as he spoke. Cloud was surprised when Zack jumped up to intercept him when he made a move to leave.

"No," Zack said softly, "Please stay." He ignored Cloud's tenseness as he reached to touch his cheek comfortingly. "I know Angeal went way too far, and I should have stopped him. But, I..." Zack trailed off, but Cloud already knew why. _Zack belonged to Angeal_. "Please, I don't want you to leave feeling so upset. I know you'll have fun if you stay."

Zack was leading him to the living room without even waiting for an answer, without letting Cloud pull away or act on his decision to leave early. There was something kind in Zack's insistence, so Cloud did not protest. Any ill will towards Zack was misplaced. He had done nothing wrong, simply acted the way his nature dictated. The fact that he was not Cloud's Zack was no fault of his, and Cloud projecting onto him had only been the blond's own weakness, nothing to do with Zack.

He had to learn to control himself better, to not get caught in longing for what he could not have. Perhaps ending contact with Zack would be the smartest, most efficient way to live his life. However, as he watched Zack's face light up when Angeal entered the room carrying several bottles of beer, Cloud knew that it was too late. He was too weak to distance himself from that light.

He still craved companionship, still fought against the loneliness that was constantly trying to overwhelm him. How long would he continue to struggle, before even that small part of him didn't care? Would he lose all his humanity? Become entirely The Planet's weapon with no real thoughts or emotions of his own? Even Cloud realized what a depressing future that was to look forward to.

Angeal approached Cloud where he stood again, this time holding out a drink to him in offering. Cloud managed not to flinch, his calm control returning, but was tense and terse as he declined. "No thanks, I don't drink." He moved to turn away, go to Zack, who was preparing a deck of cards at the coffee table, but was stopped when Angeal pressed the bottle to Cloud's chest.

"You need it."

Quietly, Cloud took the bottle, even though he had no intentions of drinking it. Keeping the peace, not starting a scene over something so stupid. Zack wanted them both to play nice.

And yet Angeal didn't seem to have gotten that memo. "There is no need to get so sulky because someone does not trust your word as absolute truth." The man muttered quietly before taking a seat on the couch. He was still heard, however. Zack's head snapped up to glare at Angeal. Cloud was seeing red at the unfairness in that statement. Opening his mouth with a snarl, his sullenness replaced by an anger that was coming far too easily that night. Everything he planned on saying was interrupted by Zack.

"Angeal, _stop baiting him._" Zack said, sounding exasperated. "You're not being fair. I _asked_ him to stay, but if you're so against being civil, then we'll leave."

It was a threat. A threat that Zack too would leave with Cloud, forcing Angeal alone for the night. Angeal seemed to take it seriously, because he let out a sigh.

"I'd rather he was pissed at me, than spending the entire night ignoring us while he broods." He tried to keep his tone light but couldn't help but sound fatigued. His words diffused Zack completely who simply shook his head.

Cloud was angry with himself for being so easily manipulated. There had been a time when he had been able to hide any weakness from an enemy, and now, so overwhelmed by those weaknesses he was as easy to read and play as a child. Zack grabbed two cushions from off the couch and tossed them across the coffee table. Cloud regained his composure, calming himself.

Zack flopped down onto one of the pillows, and Cloud quietly joined him on the other, both of them kneeling across from the couch where Angeal was seated. The cards were on the middle of the table, and Angeal picked them up, shuffling them with obvious skill.

Cloud was terrible at cards. He also hated beer, so Zack's assurance that he would enjoy himself had been rather unfounded. But the dark haired SOLDIER seemed thrilled at the idea of spending the night with his lover and his friend, and appeasing the fantasy that they could all get along wouldn't hurt for one night. Especially since Cloud was determined to squash it the next time Zack asked him to so much as look at Angeal.

"So," Angeal said, looking up from the now well shuffled deck, "Strip poker?" He was grinning wide, and Zack laughed. Zack was probably all for the idea, but the scathing glare that Cloud sent across the table contained enough disapproval for all three of them. "Next time, then." Angeal chuckled, "Gin it is."

Cloud had found that cards was a preferred pastime for many in SOLDIER, played during lengthy missions, or even boring classes. He had improved a little, playing against classmates who he had quickly found out did not show the mercy that Zack did while playing cards. But even then his improvements were minimal.

As the first hand played out it was obvious that Angeal also did not believe in mercy. The reason Zack had become so good was obvious. One was either good, or spent the entire night losing. Fortunately they were not playing with stakes, otherwise Cloud would have been cleaned out. However Angeal and Zack seemed to keep a point system between just the two of them, hinting that what those points were exchanged for were far dirtier than a game of strip poker.

A few hands in, Angeal got up to bring out more beer. Cloud's had disappeared when Zack saw it was clearly not going to be drank, and soon the new bottles were empty as well. Zack's strategies were deteriorating quickly, attesting to where most of the alcohol was going.

After a rather vicious trumping from Angeal, Cloud sighed and put down his cards. He was quite through with the game, and Zack laughed sounding just a little tipsy. Cloud nearly jumped out of his skin when Zack suddenly reached out and grabbed him, pulled his head close and kissed him. The taste of alcohol was strong on Zack's mouth, and while Cloud knew that liquor burned off fast in the system of anyone treated with mako, the brunet seemed legitimately tipsy even if the effect wouldn't last long.

Despite Cloud's tenseness, Zack merely held Cloud closer and deepened the kiss, massaging Cloud's lips with his own until the blond yielded and allowed access. Angeal was right there, yet Zack didn't seem to care in the least that he was making out with someone else. Sure that hostilities were about to go through the roof, Cloud put effort into pulling his head away from Zack, casting a panicked look in Angeal's direction.

To his surprise the other man seemed perfectly calm, leaning back relaxed against the couch, watching them with an interest that utterly astonished Cloud. He quickly returned his gaze to Zack, not willing to think of the implications of Angeal's heated gaze. Zack was grinning, already a little more sane as he reached for Cloud's shoulders again, pulling the blond from his knees to almost topple into Zack.

"You stiffed me this morning, you totally owe me." Zack whispered, a little too amused by the literalness of his words before he pulled Cloud into another kiss. When Angeal didn't move, just seemed content to watch the show from his place on the couch, Cloud managed to relax into Zack's hold.

The taste of alcohol wasn't as bad when it was mixed with Zack's usual flavour, Cloud decided. When Zack's tongue darted across flush lips, the blond tilted his head to suck it into his mouth, drawing a moan from Zack that made Cloud's cheek's flush. Zack's hands had moved from Cloud's shoulders to his waist, sliding under his shirt to run against the warm skin of Cloud's back, making the blond arch into Zack's hold as hands ran over ticklish, sensitive skin.

Their kiss broke and Zack moved his lips to Cloud's neck. He found the mark he had already left that morning and reclaimed it with several long strokes of his tongue. Doing his best to ignore Angeal's presence Cloud mimicked the actions, burying his nose in Zack's neck and inhaling his scent before kissing the other boy's ear gently.

Suddenly, Zack was fumbling with his hold on Cloud while he got to his feet, pulling Cloud hard against him and grinding their hips together. Cloud gasped against the sudden friction, all too aroused by the feeling, before Zack took a few steps back. Cloud barely noticed that they were standing in front of Angeal, before Zack carefully dropped down into Angeal's lap. The larger man's hands were instantly wrapped around Zack's chest and waist, mouth going to Zack's neck, squeezing the right places to make the smaller SOLDIER moan.

Zack still kept his grip on Cloud's arm, using Cloud's surprise to throw the blond off balance and causing him to tumble down awkwardly into Zack's lap. The brunet's lips were on him again before he could protest the change of position. Zack arranged Cloud's body so that his thighs were spread across Zack's lap, his knees butted into Angeal's, who had his legs spread wide in his relaxed sprawl, accommodating Zack between them.

Despite the fact that Zack's hands were still on him, pulling up his shirt, rubbing his skin in a way that was most pleasurable, Cloud was tense and nervous with a third, much less friendly man in the mix. When Zack broke their kiss, he gave Cloud a reassuring smile before sliding his mouth down Cloud's neck. Pressed against Zack's chest, Cloud could feel as Angeal's hands worked their way across Zack's front. One rubbed against a nipple, the other slid down Zack's stomach to his groin and rubbed him through the fabric of his jeans. Zack was responding eagerly as he bucked his hips into the contact. He moaned against Cloud's neck, his hands getting a little shakier as they slid down Cloud's sides.

It was erotic, Cloud was sure, to see the way Zack responded to Angeal. When the older SOLDIER ran a tongue obscenely over the rim of Zack's ear and pressed just the right way on Zack's still clothed groin, Zack bucked hard with a loud moan, almost thrashing against the hold that the older man had on him. Angeal's chuckle was audible, and boy in his grasp spat a few insults in response. It was amusing, and Cloud's expression must have betrayed his mirth, because Zack wrapped his arms around Cloud's shoulders and pulled him down for another kiss. "Not funny." Zack muttered sulkily against the blond's lips before taking them again.

Angeal's hands had withdrawn to Zack's sides, allowing the brunet to calm his arousal, so Cloud allowed Zack to press their bodies closer together. While they kissed, Zack's hands moved down to Cloud's hips and encouraged Cloud to grind against him, the blond awkwardly angling himself so that he could. The friction was arousing, intense, and Zack's hands remained on Cloud's hips to continue to guide his motions.

When a second, much larger pair of hands settled on Cloud's back, however, the blond jerked in surprise. Cloud pulled away to protest, but Zack lifted a finger to the blond's lips, giving him a look that was both comforting and pleading, before claiming the them again, trying hard to distract him with the kiss.

It was hard to be distracted. Angeal's mouth was still on Zack's neck and shoulder, but his hands were massaging across Cloud's back. They were gentle, they weren't aggressive or predatory and for that, Cloud was thankful. But it was still awkward, eerie, and he definitely did not enjoy or trust the idea of Angeal touching him. He liked Zack, he was comfortable with Zack, but Angeal was a completely different story.

It was just touching, he told himself, trying then to focus on Zack's mouth, his tongue, the hands encouraging him to continue rubbing their hips together. His focus allowed his body to relax, which Zack noticed right away and gave him a squeeze to encourage him to continue. Releasing Cloud's lips, Zack found the side of his neck previously ignored, claiming it with tongue, lips and teeth.

Cloud's eyes were closed as he enjoyed the ministrations, and was therefore surprised when he felt dry lips that were definitely not Zack's press against his already kiss-swollen ones. Eyes snapping open, he found Angeal's hands on his back soothing him much like one would sooth a skittish animal, while lips and a careful tongue worked over Cloud's mouth. Zack's ministrations were continuing on the side of his neck, and Cloud quickly became overwhelmed.

He was not used to intimacy, not with one person and definitely not with two. Angeal had accused and threatened him with the same mouth that were now pulling and sucking gently at Cloud's lower lip, and the blond wasn't sure if he was supposed to have forgotten that Angeal was the biggest threat to him and his safety. When a warm tongue dipped into his mouth, stroked across his tongue in a way that was far too relaxed, far too familiar for Cloud's taste, the blond abruptly pulled back.

It took some effort to scramble out of Zack's hold, pulling away strongly when hands tried to hold him close with their soothing nature. There was nothing soothing about it, nothing arousing about it anymore. He was fine with Zack, he adored Zack, he _enjoyed_ the way Zack touched him and made him feel. But there was nothing in him that felt that way for Angeal, nothing in him that could relax or even simply tolerate the contact. Angeal was a _threat_, even when he was flushed and aroused, still holding Zack and looking questioningly at Cloud, as if it was odd or unusual that the blond was responding in such a defensive way.

Was it? Were they used to adding a third person, expecting that that person would be so aroused by the idea that they would throw any doubts or insecurities out the window? Cloud found that he didn't care if it was strange or unexpected, there was no way he was ready for this, no way that he could trust Angeal to be anything but dangerous.

"It's late." Cloud said, and when Zack breathed out something that sounded a lot like a curse, and Angeal simply sighed, Cloud ran a hand through his hair, frustrated and nervous at the same time. "I have a mission tomorrow. I shouldn't do this." And he didn't wait to see their disappointed or annoyed expressions, didn't wait to hear Zack's apologies or Angeal's amusement. He was running away and he was alright with that, because he had burdens more important than this to bear, and this was just more proof that he was becoming less and less functional.

As the apartment door closed, Zack made no effort to stand up, simply slouching back against Angeal, sighing unhappily. Angeal just laughed as he too sank back into the couch, the laugh hollow and anything but amused.

"I was hoping that would work better." Zack sighed. "You could open him up and help him relax better than I ever could."

"Let me know beforehand, the next time you expect me to seduce someone." Angeal muttered, running a hand soothingly through Zack's hair. "So I don't spend the entire evening destroying all groundwork for trust and attraction with interrogations."

"Yeah, I..." Zack sighed. The alcohol had worn off completely now, "I wasn't really thinking."

Before Zack's line of thought could become too self condemning, Angeal quickly wrapped his arms around Zack, pulling him close and nuzzling his neck affectionately. "My fault. He just doesn't like me much." He whispered, and when Zack smiled his agreement weakly, he twisted Zack in his hold so that he could kiss him to distraction.

**To the Readers:**

I have decided to post this story on , and truly hope that you have enjoyed reading it! I will continue to update it here, but my writing journal is still available on my profile page for those who would like to read it there. If you have gotten this far, please feel free to share any comments you have, as the reader's encouragement has been what's kept me going on this fic for its overly long life. Chapter 10 is currently in editing and will come soon. :3


	10. Chapter 10 Connecting the Dots

**Authors Notes:** This chapter was brutal, and mercilessly long. But it was also pivotal, and I hope that it makes some connections and explains some plot developments. I'm thrilled with the amount of encouragement I've received, thank you so much for your comments. :) I apologize for any typos or grammatical errors that might be found, I was suffering from lack of sleep when I edited it.

It's time to start introducing Sephiroth's role. Next up, Aeris. Haha.

**Connecting the Dots**

Cloud had assumed that the Wutaian prisoners were dangerous and deadly to warrant an armed guard. But when he had arrived at the prison that they were currently being held in, he was surprised at just how pathetic they seemed. Two looked nearly dead, underfed and malnourished. Their mission leader assured them that it was simply because they refused to eat, starving themselves to prove their defiance of Shinra. They didn't mention much about the bruises and wounds found on all three, the obvious marks from their interrogations.

The third prisoner was a little healthier, perhaps the only one of the three that Cloud would had considered a warrior at any point in time. But by now he simply looked broken, tired and despairing as he ignored everything around him.

None of them looked like a threat, and Cloud wondered why Shinra was going to the lengths of assigning SOLDIER as escorts. Excessive as it seemed, however, Cloud knew better than to vocally question Shinra's orders. As pitiful as the prisoners looked, Shinra had deemed them dangerous, and dogs of Shinra were not to question this.

As they prepared the vehicle for transport, the other SOLDIER were quick to voice their skepticism. "Well this'll be a breeze, won't it?" A tall, redheaded SOLDIER said while hammering in a patch to the truck bed.

Cloud was spreading a new canvas over the frame of the truck's back with another lanky SOLDIER who laughed at the comment. "They're drugging those poor bastards for the entire trip. They'll be sleeping the whole time." The man said with a grin at Cloud as they worked. "They're taking it easy on the newbie. Watching over prisoners that couldn't lift a weapon, never mind know how to use it."

"One of them has been trained to fight." Cloud muttered, though he shrugged with doubt. They were right, the man would be too drugged to ever use any of the training he might have had.

"Good eye." The second class SOLDIER and acting team leader said through the back window of the cab. He was in the front, testing the radios and electronics for problems. "One of those 'poor bastards' took down a full platoon of infantrymen before SOLDIER showed up to capture him. He hasn't been starving himself like an idiot, he was even working out in his cell before they started strapping him down. They're drugging them to make sure he doesn't see an opportunity and take it."

"Well then, I'm glad that he's drugged." The smallest of the group said, shaking out and rolling up their bedrolls and tents.

"There's five of us." The second class said confidently, "Only one of them has seen battle, and we are trained SOLDIER...mostly." He added, glancing at Cloud. "Use your training and you'll be fine." This seemed to comfort the smallest SOLDIER, and ease everyone's mind. Throughout the morning they prepared the truck for the journey, repairing the back of it and ensuring everything was in working order.

The wilderness around Corel had recently been victim to a sudden upsurge in Wutaian activity, highly populated with Wutian guerrillas who were extremely active against any of Shinra's activity. The prison had been deemed insecure at the time being, and as these were important captives, they had to be moved to a more secure area as soon as possible. However helicopter flights had been repeatedly interrupted by missile attacks from high cover, and so land vehicle was chosen as the safest and most effective option of transportation.

The truck was fully equipped with jamming devices to keep them off of enemy radar, and intercepting radios to keep track of any chatter from the surrounding enemies. Topped off with a team of five members of an armed escort, and the whole operation looked to be a sure success. All was operated by the small SOLDIER, named Robby, who was highly trained in communication devices. He took the second seat in the cab, next to Chev, the redheaded SOLDIER who was renowned for being able to drive anything with wheels.

This left Nial, the lanky SOLDIER, and their leader, Ben, in the back with Cloud to watch the prisoners that were later brought out. As they were told, all three were in a drug induced sleep, placed at the front of the box on mats. Despite the drugs, they were all still bound with manacles, which seemed to be overkill as far as Cloud was concerned. Rolling out padding and blankets in the back of the truck bed, the three made themselves comfortable for the drive.

Going by truck meant hindered speed due to the rugged terrain. Most of the paths they took had only been recently cut into the undergrowth, fallen trees and rubble common. Despite this, the day was entirely uneventful. Riding with the tailgate down, the two SOLDIER and Cloud sat on it, kicking their feet as they drove. For a while they competed, tossing rocks that they grabbed off the path at wildlife that would burst startled from the undergrowth.

When Nial accidently hit a rather irritable malboro, which then dedicated itself to following them with alarming speed, they decided that their competition was not the best idea. Instead of being alarmed by the angry creature, Cloud instead reached easily for his fire materia. The others watched, both amused and impressed, as he repeatedly cast the powerful fire3 spells as they continued to drive, incinerating the poor beast until it counted it's losses and disappeared back into the vegetation.

They drove late into the night, until Chev complained loudly that he needed to sleep. They set up camp and Ben administered a shot of tranquilizers to each prisoner, confirming that they would stay under throughout the night. They pitched two tents, four of them pairing up, as Ben opted to sleep on a bedroll in the back of the truck to keep a close eye on the prisoners. They took turns on watch, Cloud being stuck with the last shift.

He slept lightly in the tent with a foreign body near him, so when he was woke for his shift he was ready for it. When he crawled from out of the tent the sun was still nowhere to be seen. Cloud found it hard to stifle the multitude of yawns that escaped him as he walked the perimeter of their camp. When he was satisfied that it was secure, he returned to the fire that had long gone out, no doubt the last SOLDIER who had fallen asleep and failed to keep it going.

By the time the sun started to rise Cloud had stoked the fire and used it to brew a pot of much needed coffee. Cup in hand, he checked the perimeter again, and then the prisoners to make sure they were still unconscious. Satisfied that everything was as it should be, Cloud settled back down by the fire. As daylight grew brighter the others started to wake up, quickly claiming their own cups of coffee and eating a simple breakfast before they broke camp to start their journey once again. But as they continued the already gloomy sky darkened further, and by mid morning it was raining a miserable downpour.

The day they had spent riding on the tailgate already forgotten, Cloud and the other two SOLDIER were now huddled back into the truck trying to escape the driving rain. Lighting a small lamp they huddled in a circle around it, their discomfort amplified by the many more bumps and jostles caused by extra ruts and potholes washed into the road by the rain. A deck of cards found its way out, and this time Cloud was happy for the distraction.

He was pleased further when he had the opportunity to use a few of the combos Angeal had trumped him so badly with a few nights past, even managing to win himself first watch from Nial. It would mean being awake longer than the others, but he would have the longest uninterrupted sleep of the night.

Any good mood vanished from all of them when the rained picked up even harder, and the truck ended stuck in a sinkhole of mud. Unhappily the three jumped from the back of the bed, joined by the short Robby from the cab who disappeared to his knees in the muck. It took a great effort of pushing and prying to eventually free the truck from the sinkhole. They hardly made any progress at all before they were stuck again, and the team resigned themselves to their very muddy fate.

The rest of the afternoon was spent pushing and pulling the truck through the waterlogged road. Completely covered in mud from head to toe, soaking wet and miserable, they were able to keep up by walking along side of the truck as it inched through the mud. Late in the day, Nial looked up from their position pushing on the back of the truck, glaring at the drugged but clean prisoners inside.

"Should be waking up and making _them push_." He muttered, and as miserable as he felt, Cloud found himself agreeing.

When darkness fell none of them had motivation to carry on any further, giving up and quitting for the day instead. They floundered in the rain, trying to find a place out of the mud to set up their tents, but gave up shortly. Not even bothering to start a fire they ate in a miserable silence piled into the back of the truck. None of them felt like playing cards, and so they turned in early. Chev and Robby climbed into the cab, possibly the only dry place available, though they complained about a couple of leaks in the roof that had been missed during their repairs.

Cold, dirty, and miserable, Cloud huddled in the back, not quite out of the pelt of the rain. Curled around his lantern, he checked the prisoners first, finding them all still out cold. It wouldn't be until the next day that they would be awoken to eat and drink, before they were once again put under. The next dose of tranquilizers would be administered that night by the third watch, which left Cloud with nothing to do during his shift other than to stare out into the wet, listening to the rain bounce off the top of the canvas roof.

It was entirely uneventful, which caused Cloud to wonder if there was anyone from Wutai that was loyal enough to their anti-Shinra causes to even be out in this weather. Checking his phone, he was more than relieved when the time flashed for the end of his shift. He didn't feel the least bit guilty as he shook Chev awake, ignoring the grumbles and mutters as they switched places. Thankful that the bedroll he was taking was further into the truck and out of the rain, Cloud attempted to use a blanket to dry himself off enough to curl into the bedroll. It was a failed attempt, but he knew he would have to sleep even if he was uncomfortable and cold. He had lived through worse.

He had never been a particularly hard sleeper, and considering the circumstances Cloud was not surprised that his sleep was light and easily interrupted. When watch shift changed again, Cloud kept quiet as the two men grumbled unhappily. After they settled down, he concentrated his attentions on the sound of the rain against the roof of the truck, and that lulled him into a light sleep.

He heard movement, and it took a moment for him to realize it wasn't in a dream. The quiet clink of chain, the soft choking noise and a gasp for breath brought Cloud from gently asleep to armed and dangerous in seconds. There wasn't room for First Sword in the back of the truck, so Cloud instead threw himself out of the bedroll in a lunge, tackling the source of the noise.

One of the prisoners was awake, Cloud saw the angry glint of eyes moments before he was cuffed about the head with the hard metal strap around the man's wrist. He had misjudged his tackle and landed mostly on Ben, who's life he had just saved. This allowed the prisoner to burst free from the tangle of bodies.

He swung at Cloud again using the chains of his manacles as a weapon, and Cloud ducked just in time to feel the hard metal graze his hair as it flew over his head. Ben was unable to move, his hands had gone to his highly bruised throat but he was still having trouble bringing in breath, and Cloud was sure that there had been some serious damage done.

He had no time to heal him, instead he tackled the Wutaian prisoner again, the momentum driving both of them out of the truck and into the mud. "Somebody help Ben!" Cloud shouted, and he heard Nial's bleary shouts in response, the man finally awake and hopefully helping their squad leader.

The Wutaian was on his feet before Cloud, and the blond recognized the disadvantage instantly as a heavy punch collided with his jaw as he struggled to regain his footing. He was thrown down to the ground, and the man was already running by the time Cloud got up. With a snarl he reached to his back, drawing First Sword.

Chev had burst from the cab of the truck by this point, kicking his way through the mud as he screamed. "Who the fuck forgot to drug that son of a bitch!" He shouted, clearly giving up hope of catching the man in the dark and the rain. Cloud was not so quick to give up. First Sword drawn he dove into the woods the man had charged into.

The man was still drugged, bleary, and not playing smart. His trail was easy to follow, and Cloud knew he was faster on his feet, unbound and free from the effects of days worth of powerful drugs in his system. It wasn't long before Cloud could see the back of the man as he scrambled through the growth.

"Stop where you are, or you will die where you stand!" Cloud shouted, his voice easily heard over the rain and the storm.

The man did stop, turning in place as he glared daggers at Cloud. Perhaps the sight of First Sword was enough to set him on edge, but he seemed to judge Cloud as an easy opponent, viewing the small blond as weak, untrained. The man would have been intimidating in size at one time, but a life of captivity had been a hard one, taking its toll on the man's strength. Considering the man was unarmed and bound, Cloud was sure of his victory.

When the man lunged for him, Cloud sidestepped with a speed that had obviously not been expected. Quicker yet was his response, a quick knock with the flat of his blade across the man's back, strong enough to knock him to the ground. Cloud was on him in moments. The man struggled beneath him, turning onto his back to try and fight him off, but Cloud pinned the man's chained above his head, slamming his knees into the man's shoulders to stop him from bucking him off.

"I got him!" Cloud shouted, still able to hear voices dimly behind him, knowing the others would hear and come to help. "He needs to be drugged!"

The man thrashed at that, struggling hard to kick Cloud off, and finally Cloud grew tired of holding him down. Releasing the man's hands long enough to pop a materia from Mystile's slot, he pressed it to the man's neck the same time dirty, tired hands found his. The materia sparked to life, and Cloud's gaze was challenging.

"It will take seconds for me to melt your head into the ground," Cloud whispered threateningly, and he knew that the heat from the Fire materia was burning the skin of the man's neck. "How long will it take for your pathetic grip to strangle me?"

And that was enough, the man's hands fell to his sides from Cloud's neck. While Cloud stopped the materia from making contact with the man's skin, he did not pull it away completely.

"Shinra wants me alive." The man declared, his gaze defiant, his hands still balled into fists at his sides as if preparing to attack again. "You can't kill me."

"Do not mistake me for one who cares for Shinra's desires." Cloud snarled, pressing fiery materia into the man's skin again, drawing a startled shout in response. It was enough pain that the man slumped underneath him in defeat.

"Then let me and my friends go." He whispered, suddenly pleading. Perhaps it was the sound of footsteps through the undergrowth, shouting out to Cloud, or the fact that he would soon be drugged again that had invoked a change of heart. "I know nothing of what Shinra wants from us, and my friends are only villagers, they've lived peacefully all their lives. We have nothing to do with Wutai! We are being tortured mercilessly, when we are not even enemies of Shinra." The man snarled.

"You are an enemy of Shinra. You have killed many of their army."

"In defence of my people and my town. Our village was burned for the ground on false accusations, merely to cover up evil things that Shinra did to the townspeople, to remove witnesses of their villainy. Do the right thing and let us free, we merely want our lives back again."

Cloud's head was hurting, The Planet whispering things to him suddenly, confirming the man's story, sending him images of Shinra's terrible acts -soldier's destroying a town, women and children murdered, raped. _It's not my problem. _Cloud thought, desperately, continuing to hold the man down, forcing his face into passive stone. He could not help this man, he could not jeopardize his standing with Shinra when much more important things were riding on it.

When the man found no sympathy on Cloud's face, his expression turned from pleading to angry, and Cloud found the outrage on his face calming for some reason. Perhaps it was easier to be the enemy, to be hated than to be relied on. He was not a hero of the people, it wasn't his job to right every wrong. Making the conscious decision to walk away from this, to leave things to play out as they pleased without his interference, was freeing in a way. Despite the protests from both The Planet and his conscience.

"You are a pathetic dog, doing Shinra's bidding." The man snarled as he struggled against Cloud's grip again. Lifting his head, he managed to spit in Cloud's face before the blond shoved him angrily back into the muddy ground. "You will rot in the depths of their corruption, and none will mourn for your loss."

It was a little more than the stream of curses Cloud expected, but he did not have to reply. By that time the other SOLDIER had made it to him, including Ben who was now standing, though there was visible bruising on his throat.

"Good work, Cloud." He said, before briskly dropping to his knees next to the prisoner, a needle in his hand. When the man started to fight, Cloud pressed the materia to him once more, and that was enough for the injection to go in smoothly. Soon the fighting stopped all together as the drugs kicked in.

"The other two were starting to wake up as well, but we put them under quickly. It seems that our third shift forgot to administer the tranquilizers." Nial who was standing behind Ben seemed rather put out, muttering his apologies at the ground, unwilling to meet anyone's gaze.

"I was half asleep myself." Ben admitted with a sigh as Cloud stood. They dragged the prisoner upright to move him back to the truck. "I didn't hear him move, and he nearly killed me for it. At least you heard and attacked." He said, looking at Cloud. "You saved my life, and stopped a dangerous man from escaping. Thank you."

Cloud shrugged, not sure if he had done the right thing or not but forcing himself not to care. He could not solve everyone's problems, he knew this. He had only one important mission, and everything else was beyond his grasp. Trying to help everything work out for the best would stretch himself too thin, when his sanity was already so dangerously pushed to begin with.

Knowing he would now be unable to sleep, too pumped with adrenaline and stress, Cloud volunteered to take the last watch. He sat on the tailgate, not caring about the rain anymore, First Sword drawn across his lap.

Perhaps Shinra was in the wrong, it wouldn't have been the first time. But it wasn't Cloud's responsibility to do anything about it, he had a different purpose. And as time went on, he was finding it hard to care about anything else.

The rest of the mission went much smoother after that. The rain cleared up later the next day, and while they still had to get out and push it out of the mud in some places, they were able to sit in the back and soak in the sun instead of wading through mud keeping up with the truck.

They had rolled out most of their bedrolls and blankets on the tailgate, as well as other various items they were trying to dry out in the sun. When they were sure the sun was out for good, they rolled back the canvas top of the truck a ways to let more sunlight into the box, sprawling out and enjoying themselves.

Ben had taken a while, but eventually forgave Nial. The night he had forgotten to drug the prisoners had been a rough day, and while disappointing it was easy to understand how he could have forgotten. It also helped that Ben himself had been sleeping on the watch. Cloud had been the one to stay up during the night, and despite the fact he had to drink a couple of hypers throughout the day after to get by, he managed. This was his element, he realized after a while. Being on the road, travelling, fighting. It reminded him of a different time, when he and his group of friends had been on a mission to save the world. Moving from place to place constantly, fighting their way through each day.

Those times seemed simpler now, even though they had been so chaotic back then. Perhaps because the enemy had been easier to distinguish, the target easier to access. Clouds mission now involved more than just fighting, and he didn't have the backup he once had.

By the time they had reached Costa Del Sol, everyone was in good spirits. They drove to the harbour and reported in, unloading the prisoners and arranging their transportation back to Junon. There was a couple hour layover while they waited for the ship to arrive, and they all quickly jumped on the opportunity to throw themselves at the beach, laying in the sun and just relaxing. Cloud had chosen to sit at a picnic table overlooking the sea while the other SOLDIER's flopped into the sand. A mixture of the sound of the waves and the warmth of the sun lulled him into an contented doze that he was not broken out of until it was time to leave.

Both the sail to Junon, and the helicopter ride back to Midgar contained the same easy spirits. They swapped stories, played cards, chatted about their lives. It was a comfortable atmosphere, and for the first time in a very long time, Cloud found himself happy, content.

When they arrived in Midgar they were offloaded at the Shinra building, and Cloud heard the friendly announcement echo through the halls that their squad had returned from a successful mission. The attendants at the doors were happy to greet them, leading them to where they would be debriefed. Cloud received special commendation for his alertness, which encouraged his mood further. All thoughts of what the prisoners were now experiencing in Midgar were far from Cloud's mind.

"So, do you guys want to go for lunch?" Chev asked as they exited the conference room.

"It's only ten, it's not even lunch time." Robby complained.

"I'm hungry!"

"You're always hungry."

"We deserve a good lunch, man." Chev declared, and the others seemed to have fallen into agreement. "There's this new pub on the plate, I hear it has the most amazing steak you'll ever eat."

Ben's stomach rumbled loudly at the thought, causing the others to snicker. "Alright, let's go then."

Cloud nodded his agreement, but just as they were about to leave the phone inside his pocket vibrated, still on silence from the conference. Answering it, he was surprised to hear Zack.

"Hey! I heard the announcement that you guys are back!" Zack said happily, on the other end. "Everything went well?"

"Yeah." Cloud agreed. "It was good."

"You sound good! Who would have thought a mission would make you happy. Then again..." Zack laughed. "So what are you up to?"

"Was going to have some lunch. Would you like to come?"

"I can't, I'm in training right now. Just taking a break to call. I'll be at it for a couple hours, if you'd like to have lunch then."

"Training?" Cloud couldn't help but remember their interrupted training session, and while some parts of it were enough to bring heat to his cheeks, he longed for the idea of training. He was in good spirits, his energy levels were high, and just coming back from a mission with limited action, he felt the need to blow off some steam.

Zack seemed to pick up on all of this, just from the tone of Cloud's voice. "Yeah, training. Want to come join in? I'll buy you lunch wherever you were planning on going after. Training center five."

"Alright." Cloud agreed, "I'll be there in a few."

Hanging up and turning to the SOLDIER who he was surprised to see were all watching him. He pocketed his phone and touched a hand to his hair. "Uh, can I rain check that lunch?"

Ben snorted. "Figures. Training the moment you get back from a mission? You're out of your mind." Still, he grinned and lightly punched Cloud's shoulder, a friendly gesture of camaraderie. "We'll have plenty of time for lunch. I'm sure we will be seeing a lot more of you around, what with the SOLDIER entrance exams coming up. You'll be one of us before you know it."

They all grinned and nodded their agreement, and Cloud left the hallway with a bare smile pulling at his lips. Comrades were something he had nearly forgotten. During the Last War, he had taken good care of his men, had fostered honour and loyalty among them. His soldiers fought to the death for what they believed in, and while these were different circumstances all together, it was still comforting to know that there were people in this world who he could fight with, who he could feel comfortable on the battlefield around.

The fact that they were part of Shinra, a company that had done so much to harm humanity, was just a quirk.

He didn't want to hold up Zack, and was eager to start training, so Cloud didn't bother dumping his gear in his room. Instead he made his way to the training center fully armed, First Sword fully assembled at his back, the sheath's pockets and mystile filled with materia.

As he swung open the door to the training center he was to meet Zack in, he was rather unpleasantly surprised to see Angeal standing with Zack, correcting his stance as he ran him through some complex disarming techniques, ones that the older man had used on Cloud the last time they'd trained together.

Zack stopped and turned to Cloud when he heard him come in, smiling brightly while he waved Cloud over. Angeal simply nodded to acknowledge the blond's presence. There was no hostility in his posture, and so Cloud walked to where they were standing. He was wary of Angeal, knew that the man wanted to interrogate him badly. But his confidence that he would refrain from doing so while training Zack was strong, the younger SOLDIER had invited him there, after all. Still, there was no harm in being cautious, and so he mimicked the polite nod in Angeal's direction. Quiet and courteous, perhaps then Angeal would start to believe that Cloud was truly not a threat.

Zack was grinning at him. "Well don't you just look like a hardcore SOLDIER." He said with both admiration and amusement, obviously referring to Cloud's attire.

"Didn't change. Just came from debriefing. Managed to shower back in Junon, was covered head to toe in mud."

"Rough mission?"

"Just rain, mostly. Went well. It felt good to be out there doing something." Because Cloud was a warrior, he felt better when he had a sword in his hand and blood on his mind. Dealing with people and normalcy could be left for someone else, all he needed was a reason to fight. Perhaps that's what Angeal saw in him, what the man was worried about.

Cloud knew he was in no danger, The Planet had an iron grip on him and gave him his sole reason to fight. That would be all he fought for, until his purpose was completed and his promised rest would come.

"You look good." Zack smiled, perhaps a little suggestive. Cloud was now able to tell when Zack was restraining himself, able to recognize the signs of Zack's mind approaching the gutter.

Angeal apparently knew how to recognize them as well. "If you're done chatting, back to training." He said, while picking up two VR helmets and tossing them to Cloud and Zack.

Catching his and plunking it onto his head, Cloud reached into his sheath to adjust his materia. He added cure and haste to an already loaded mystile, checking to make sure shell and wall were in First Swords hilt, as well. Cloud played a good support role with Zack. Though he lacked Zack's endurance and strength, he was better with magic and healing. Combined, they made a great team.

Looking up as he closed his sheath pocket, he caught the stern stare Angeal was giving him. Choosing to ignore it, Cloud dropped the visor down over his eyes, doing his best to avoid confrontation with Zack's mentor - lover. Hoping that Angeal would do the same, he drew First Sword and focused on the Welcome! screen flashing before his eyes.

Angeal selected their mission, and Cloud stiffened in surprise when a level 60 mission's details rolled across the screen. These were for high ranking SOLDIER, training strategy and teamwork as hard as combat skills, not for a 3rd Class and a cadet. Zack seemed to share his sentiment.

"Hey! That's a pretty tough one." Zack said, sounding slightly alarmed, his voice audible to Cloud even though he could not see him through the blue screen of the VR visor.

"If I didn't think you could handle it, I wouldn't suggest you try." Angeal answered easily, and Cloud found himself frowning. He knew Angeal pushed Zack hard in training, but obviously had never made him do a mission like this. Which meant Cloud was the difference, and this made the blond suspect Angeal was testing him. Perhaps the man had recognized Cloud's materia, or heard about his mission's progress. Was Angeal challenging him, to see if he knew how to use the equipment he possessed? Or was it something more dangerous - did Angeal already know, and was instead testing to see just how powerful Cloud was?

Cloud was sure that revealing any more strength than he already had would not go well. His course of action was clear.

"We can do it, Zack." Cloud said confidently, "You're SOLDIER, right?"

As the mission started, the virtual landscape started to generate around them. Zack appeared at Cloud's side, his sword drawn and at the ready. As mission instructions were repeated by an artificially feminine voice, Cloud reached for Mystile. Materia flared to life as he cast -protect, shell, and haste swirled around them as All materia pulsed.

"You can go full out." Cloud instructed once the mission's instructions were done. They were to infiltrate and recapture a war base that had been overthrown by enemy troops. Then, they were to defend that base against further attacks, stemming the flow of enemies by destroying a second base, located in a mountain range behind them. It as a complicated mission, requiring the need to practice and balance both offence, and defence. Cloud was grateful for the store of materia he had in his sheath, as he was sure it would come in handy. "I'll play support."

Their target base was backed by cliffs and mountainous terrain. A forest covered the west side of the base, and open meadow on the other. They were located on the far side of the field, and as Cloud adjusted his visor to scan and zoom function, he saw that the tall walls of the base were protected with turrets. It would be handy for defence when they had possession of the base, but a pain when trying to infiltrate. Destroying them was out of the question, because they would be so necessary later. Which left the forested side - they would have to enter from cover, without alerting the guards. Some of the trees were exceptionally tall, perhaps tall enough to help them clear the wall.

Exiting scan mode, Cloud looked across to Zack, who was looking rather overwhelmed. "This is going to be hard." Zack said. "How do we even take a base, never mind two, and defend...?" Despite the fact that it was more complicated than any training mission Zack had previously ran, he was scanning the area, trying to find a solution. It brought a pleased smile to Cloud's face, because this was the Zack he remembered. A leader and strategist, one who did not simply give up, and would find a way through any situation. Perhaps he was inexperienced now, but with more training and practice, it would come.

"There are two entrances." Cloud said, deciding to give a quick rundown to help Zack plan. "One is into the mountain, currently inaccessible." Zack was paying attention, listening intently. Cloud was pleased that Zack took him seriously, understanding that the blond knew what he was doing. "The other entrance is heavily guarded by turrets and who knows what else. We could destroy them, but that would weaken our own defences later." Zack nodded, though he was frowning.

"So how do we get in?"

"The west side is forested, right up to the wall. This will provide cover, and hopefully we will be able to use one of the taller trees to get over the wall. Once we are inside, we destroy any resistance. Surprise attack, close range combat, fast and hard. Defensive magic and buffs will help." Cloud explained, touching his materia. Zack was now grinning as their plan started to form.

"The attacks will come from the mountains, tunnels and pathways. All of it will be close quarters, dangerous terrain. Close range combat is our specialty. We let no one past, set up barriers and blockades. We storm the enemy base head on. Destroy everything, no holds barred. Destruction magic will help.

"Damn." Zack muttered, "I didn't know you were so good at analysis and strategizing, on top of everything else."

'War was my life', Cloud was tempted to say, but instead he only smiled with a flattered embarrassment. "I studied a lot."

Zack only grinned before he drew his sword, pointing it at the trees. "So, shall we begin?"

As he drew First Sword Cloud nodded, letting the tension of battle flow through him like the magic of the buffs he had cast. "Definitely."

Everything went according to plan. A particularly tall tree near the wall, when felled, provided a ramp into their target base. Cloud was careful about his own offensive, falling instead to Zack's back, carefully destroying anything that came too close. The buffs he cast protected them from the onslaught that threatened to overwhelm them, and a few well placed spells removed the threat of any enemies that tried to stay out of the melee.

The barriers Cloud cast on the mountain trails and turrets stopped any assault that managed to slip past their aggressive assault. A well timed berserk spell turned Zack into a well oiled killing machine, removing all hesitation and concern from the man's mind, allowing him to be overcome by the heat of battle. Quake crumbled the wall of the enemy base, and once they burst through the front lines of resistance, they were unstoppable as they stormed the area.

After the mission was complete, Zack threw off his helmet and tackled Cloud in an excited hug, before the blond could even finish removing his visor. "That was amazing!" Zack exclaimed, grabbing Cloud by the shoulders. "It was like, the best mission I've ever ran. Right, Angeal?"

Some of Zack's enthusiasm disappeared when he looked across to Angeal, and Cloud tentatively followed the SOLDIER's gaze. Angeal did not look happy, and his angry expression was clearly directed at Cloud. All at once, Cloud knew he had handled the situation wrong, had done nothing to alleviate Angeal's suspicion. The man had been testing him, trying to prove something, but Cloud had misjudged the man's intentions.

"It was well done." Angeal said, complimenting Zack. And by the steady, vicious gaze Angeal maintained, Cloud knew that it was _only_ Zack he was praising. "You fought well, stuck to the plan, and followed _expert_ guidance."

Cloud then knew what he had done wrong. Angeal had not been testing his strength, probably something the older man was already familiar with. He was testing Cloud's knowledge, his experience. Both were something steroids would have no effect on, something Cloud had so far kept hidden by keeping his head down and following orders.

But no cadet had the training or the experience to take the lead and execute strategies on the battle field. They did not have the ability to analyze their partner's strengths and weaknesses. Common infantrymen were not trained to use supportive magic in the way Cloud had. His course of action should have instead been to follow Zack's lead, allow the man to determine their course of action, and charge in fully offensive and allow them to be gunned down. Perhaps then Angeal would rest easy knowing Cloud was powerful, but harmless.

Instead, he had just demonstrated how capable he was, how dangerous he could be. He had proven he was anything but a normal cadet, and who knew what conclusion Angeal was drawing, now.

"I should go." Cloud said softly as Zack released him, the brunet sensing how tense the situation had become.

"No. You should start explaining." Angeal said, his words obviously an order. Angeal once again had moved between Cloud and the exit.

There was aggression in the man's posture, and without thinking his actions through, Cloud reached for First Sword in a purely defensive reflex. His actions were obviously misunderstood. Zack flinched away, stepping back and out of the line of fire. Angeal instantly drew the training sword at his side, and pointed it directly at Cloud.

"Do not draw that sword unless you plan on seeing it through to the end."

Cloud's hand jerked from the handle of his blade as if it had burned him, automatically putting both hands in the air to show he was not taking an offensive stand. "I don't want to fight you." Cloud said quietly, honestly, but Angeal did not lower his sword.

"Yes, you are not a threat, correct? Just a normal teenage cadet? There are SOLDIER captains that have been unable to complete that mission with a full team, due to lack of planning or foresight. Support squads, fully trained and equipped, only _dream_ of providing the level of aid you so effortlessly gave. But of course, you have had no formal training. And of course, there is _nothing_ threatening about your knowledge or skills."

Cloud was not sure what to say, his hands still hanging in the air while his brain scrambled for some kind of response. Angeal had a counter for anything he could respond with, an accusation prepared for any reply. He was at a loss for words as he simply stood there, blankly.

Angeal seemed to know he had Cloud in a corner, and so he advanced, moving towards Cloud with his sword still drawn, tilted in line with Cloud's throat. "You aren't going to waste my time with more denials and cover stories? So why not tell me the truth, then. How did you learn what you know?"

The truth to that question would be unbelievable. Years of fighting, years of pain and trials, victories and defeats. He learned to command an army who was ready to fight to the death, because there had been no one else left who could. He learned how to play all roles on the battlefield, to be a one man army, because in the end he had been the only one left.

"Necessity." Cloud whispered, knowing it was the truth. He had learned from pure necessity. But Angeal obviously did not accept this answer, his glare becoming more intense, and Cloud found he could no longer meet it as he shifted his gaze to the ground instead. "You would never understand."

"Try me." Angeal growled, and finally something within Cloud snapped.

"Just leave me alone!" Cloud snarled, and before he was aware of what his temper had done, First Sword was drawn and held out from him, pointed at Angeal in a way that mirrored the training sword the man still brandished. "I say that I am no threat, and I haven't been lying. I've done nothing to harm anyone that warrants your actions. Your suspicions are unfounded. Either find something tangible to accuse me of, or keep your ignorant ideas to yourself!"

There was nothing scared or defensive in either Cloud's tone or his posture. He was close to an edge that he could not cross, a point of no return. He was fed up and angry with the persecution. He knew that somewhere he _wanted _Angeal to attack him, to give him a _reason_ to respond violently. He knew something in his eyes was showing just a little bit of instability. Perhaps this was the closest he had ever come to simply losing it. The closest to becoming entirely the weapon The Planet had turned him into, simply a violent tool to be used wherever he was placed.

He hadn't expected the dangerous sort of amusement that crossed Angeal's features, and it was enough to throw him off guard, gave him a chance to regain his senses. "You think my suspicions are unfounded? You think I'm concerned you are some sort of threat to _Shinra_? You think I don't realize there is far more to it than that?" There was something in Angeal's words that struck fear into Cloud. How much did Angeal know? What if the man wasn't simply being protective? "Do not misunderstand. Just because I am unsure of what you are, does not mean I don't believe you are more than what you appear. I know you are dangerous, and a very _real_ threat to those who are close to me."

Cloud took a desperate look at Zack, who was standing against the training center wall, his eyes wide as he stared at the two of them with a fear that Cloud could understand, and hated to be the cause of. "I would _never_ hurt Zack." He whispered.

"He is not the only person in this world you threaten." Angeal said, his voice still low and oh so dangerous. "Perhaps not Zack, but what of Sephiroth?"

The question and the name behind it came from nowhere, threw Cloud completely off balance and unsure of how to respond. His mind was fully returned to him, crashing down around his ears and bringing with it confusion and panic all at once. "Sephiroth?" When Angeal remained transfixed, clearly not willing to elaborate, Cloud felt the aggression completely drain from him, First Sword lowered to the floor. "How do you think I am a threat to _Sephiroth_? I've never even met him."

He had hoped Angeal had simply been grasping at straws, even if he knew from the man's expression that such hope was completely unfounded. "Because General Sephiroth dreams every night of his death at your hands. He can describe to me _exactly_ what you look like, even though he has never seen you before. He can describe to the every detail the sword you carry, and all the ways you use it, despite the fact he's never seen you fight. But I have. I know there is no mistake."

Cloud was stunned, confused. Zack was having dreams, he knew this and he had assumed they were of the future Cloud had been sent to prevent. But Sephiroth? If the silver demon was having dreams of that future, then he would indeed have reason to be threatened by Cloud. Especially if those dreams omitted Sephiroth's insanity, the fact that Cloud had been not only fighting for his own life, but for the life of The Planet which Sephiroth had been so keen on destroying.

"They are dreams." Cloud found himself saying, "Only dreams."

"So it's a coincidence, that both me and Zack share this same type of dream? That we both dream of the same things?" Cloud could see the pain on Angeal's face, and when he glanced to the side, he saw the pain on Zack's as well. He knew little about what had happened between these two in the past. He knew that Angeal had not been around shortly after he had met Zack, knew that something had changed Zack's personality drastically in that time. But he could not bring himself to ask.

"Is it a coincidence too," Angeal continued, "That after my death in those dreams Zack carried on with Buster Sword? A sword and fighting style completely unique to us two? A coincidence that when he too, dies in these dreams, he gives that sword to you? And here you are, carrying it's equal, fighting with a style that only me and Zack would know - and I haven't even trained Zack in yet! Using the very same techniques in training sessions that you used to kill one of my best friends in those dreams!"

Cloud was shaking. What were these dreams? How did Angeal know so much, simply from piecing together the parts that had been related to him? Even if he had known about the dreams or how people were having them, how was Cloud supposed to explain it? How was he supposed to explain his own role in them, his presence in this world?

"They're dreams." Cloud whispered, imploring Angeal's sense of reason. "I can't control dreams. I don't know why you are having them, but that's all they are."

Angeal seemed unsure of what exactly he was accusing Cloud of. He knew the blond was involved, but Cloud was not giving him any ground. Cloud could use the irrational nature of his circumstances to disprove anything Angeal could piece together. It was unfair, he knew. Angeal was carrying the burden of knowing there was a connection, but being unable to understand it.

But Cloud had his own burdens, and people were better off not knowing that their dreams were anything more than that.

"You know." Angeal finally said. "You know everything, but you aren't telling."

"Both you, Zack, and Sephiroth are all still alive and well." Cloud pointed out. "I have not displayed suicidal tendencies that have caused me to make attempts on Sephiroth's life. You still have your sword. What is there to explain? They are only dreams."

"If they were only dreams, then I would not be looking at you right now." Angeal said quietly. "You would still be the boy Zack befriended in his dreams, the cadet in your records."

Cloud's head spun with the implications, the very intelligent conclusion. This man knew more than enough to be dangerous, knew more about Cloud than the blond imagined anyone from this life ever knowing. But Angeal was only making assumptions, he had nothing concrete and he could not prove anything. Cloud clung to that knowledge, fully aware it was the only way he would be able to escape the man's suspicions.

"Just what are you suggesting?"

There it was. Angeal was prepared to connect the dots, but not to guess what they meant. Any rationalization was impossible and unrealistic, and Angeal was not willing to believe that _this_ was what his reasoning was coming up with. "Why don't you tell me?"

Cloud drew himself to full height, unintimidating as it was, and sheathed First Sword at his back. "If you are concerned I might attack Sephiroth, you have my word I'm not stupid enough to try and assassinate a General of the Shinra army. I advise you tell him that they are just _dreams_, and not encourage the foolish notion that dreams have any impact on reality."

Angeal opened his mouth to argue, but Cloud held up a hand to cut him off. "They may be unusual, you may be able to make connections. But it _doesn't matter_. Reality is what you should focus on. And until you have something _real_ to accuse me of," Cloud sighed. "Just leave me alone, and I'll do the same to you and those close to you."

He wasn't sure if he would be able to keep that promise forever. He knew little about Sephiroth, but if the man once again became a threat to the planet, he would have to be removed. However until that happened, Cloud was not going to get involved.

And if he had to leave Zack behind as well, so be it. His focus had to be placed on his purpose, even if it meant sacrificing what little of his humanity he had regained and what pleasures he had found. He was no stranger to sacrifice.

Angeal did not move to block him as he exited the training center, and for that Cloud was grateful. It was harder to leave Zack, knowing that Angeal might now stop him from seeing the young man again, as the blond had offered. The pressure on his mind was great, The Planet's voices garbled and hard to make out as they tried to speak with him, but Cloud decided it was just as well. The Planet never had any comfort in their words.

As Cloud left, the two SOLDIER remaining looked at each other evenly.

"I believe he's not a threat to us." Zack declared after a long silence, moving towards Angeal. "Is it possible that you're just...reading too much into this?" He whispered, sounding almost hopeful in his wish that things were more simple than they appeared.

"No." Angeal said, shaking his head as he looped his arms around Zack's shoulders, pulling him into a comforting embrace. "I know I'm right." After another long silence, Angeal finally laughed. "I just don't know what I'm right about."


	11. Chapter 11 White Flowers

**Authors Notes:** Has it nearly been a year already? Haha. Well at least it wasn't a full year before I updated. I'll put effort to pick up the pace, but lets face it, I've made that promise before. My only consolation is that this was a long chapter, and that I'm looking forward to writing the next one.

**Chapter 11 - White Flowers**

When Cloud awoke the next day, he knew right away that he had slept late into the afternoon. He had never been one to sleep in; constantly in action his time was rarely so invaluable that he could spend it laying in bed. His body was stiff and his muscles ached in protest of being immobile so long, clearly unused to the situation.

The warmth of his blankets was a comfort, though. Curling deeper into them, he shut his eyes tightly, hoping that would make everything go away. He only cracked an eyelid to glance at the alarm clock on the metal framed end table next to his bed, which confirmed he had indeed slept through his morning classes.

It did not concern Cloud nearly as much as the scenarios running through his jumbled mind.

How long until Shinra troops slammed down his door and poured in to arrest him? Surely Angeal would have followed through on his threats and reported him by now. Despite having nothing to back his suspicions but dreams, the word of a First Class General would surely be enough to initiate Shinra's action. There were enough oddities in Cloud's files to at least warrant an investigation, enough to be arrested and questioned on his background.

It was a terrifying thought. His imagination was quick to fill in the blanks of what Shinra would do if he was found. Hojo's laboratories may have been from long ago in his past, but the memories were fiercely vivid. The dormant power inside of him, the mako energy empowered by the planet, topped off with the ability that Cloud had once wielded effortlessly even to his death - all of it would send Shinra's scientists reeling in delighted speculation. How baffled Hojo might be, should he find that in Cloud's every fibre lay fragments of Sephiroth cells that he had only recently begun to experiment with.

There was no way Shinra would take him. He knew he would have to run, despite the constant reminder of just how many soldiers Shinra had sent after him and Zack so many years ago. Hundreds of troopers, fully armed and equipped, simply to take down two young escapees who might tell their secrets. How many soldiers would Shinra send after someone they considered an actual threat?

Would he face all of Shinra? It was a cold irony, that the world and the people in it, those who he had been sent to save, would hunt him like a dangerous, feral animal.

Yet the thought of living on the run, fighting for his life every minute, never stopping, never living a normal life - all of it was familiar. He was used to the life of a warrior. Settling into this charade of normalcy was far more stressful than fighting ever had been.

Perhaps that was why he had never settled down before, never stopped fighting, never stopped running. He was afraid of this normality, so completely overwhelmed by it that it was easier to simply escape it and never even try.

As he organized his thoughts, compartmentalized his concerns, The Planet's orders were noticeably absent. Nothing to tell him, nothing to clarify the situation or offer comfort, no instructions or path to follow. Instead The Planet's voices were an uncoordinated murmur, a thousand different voices telling him a thousand different things, but unable to ever agree on what had to be conveyed.

When the noise in his head refused to clear, Cloud's frustrations finally forced him from bed into a mobile state. He would have been arrested by now, had Angeal reported him. Sitting in bed and struggling with his anxieties was getting him nowhere. He thought of visiting Zack to talk to him about what had happened. Perhaps he could find some closure on what Angeal had decided. Yet he had promised Angeal that he would stay away, in an attempt to get the SOLDIER off his back. Maybe that was why Angeal had not reported him - perhaps it was better to leave things as they were until he knew for sure.

So instead of seeking Zack, Cloud dressed to train. He needed quiet, and there was no better way to find it than fighting. Until The Planet decided what he should do, he would push his body to relieve his mind. The calm headspace from combat was too tempting to resist.

The common room of the dormitory was empty of any other cadets, something that pleased Cloud. Not that relations were strained with them, on the contrary, they had never bothered or even really spoken to him. He assumed that when he had first arrived, they had little to do with the small boy from a rural town. Now he was the rising star, an intimidating figure sitting above the rest of his class with an untouchable talent. Other cadets tried hard not to meet his gaze and all greetings were curt and short.

The hallway was also empty when he entered it, which Cloud did find strange. Usually filled with mingling cadets and staff, there wasn't a soul in the empty corridor. It wasn't until he entered the lobby that he discovered where everyone was. Bodies were packed to the doors of the side entrance he came through, completely blocking passage. Cadets, SOLDIER, and employees alike had stopped what they were doing to line the sides of the lobby, leaving a path from the main doors to the elevator.

Unsure of what was going on, Cloud joined the crowd. He wormed his way through the tall people at the back, squeezing to the front where he could see what the gathering was for. When he bumped into someone he excused himself, but when he glanced up he quickly recognized the bright red hair Chev, the SOLDIER he had been on mission with. The man's face brightened with recognition. "Hey, Cloud!"

Cloud nodded his greeting, before tilting his head towards the main entrance. "What's going on?"

"Mission just completed in Wutai, a big success. The squad just came home. All the SOLDIER have already gone through, but..." He grinned. "Well, everyone wants to see the Generals return."

Chev had no sooner spoken the words when the doors opened, causing the crowd to cheer and applaud. A man in a red coat that Cloud barely remembered as General Genesis Raphsodus walked proudly through the path to the elevators. At his side was a fearfully familiar face. Sephiroth.

Seeing the man again, alive and healthy, after so many years hit Cloud in the gut like a sucker punch. He had understood that Sephiroth would be alive in this world, was even recently reminded of that by Angeal's comments. Yet he was unprepared for the reality.

_Sephiroth is alive._

Memories resurfaced fast enough to make Cloud dizzy as he watched. Sephiroth's madness as he burned Nibelheim to the ground. The hatred in mako eyes when a young Cloud, such an insignificant opponent, dared to try and stop him. The mental torment of being unable to stop himself as he danced helpless in the man's control, unable to decipher his own thoughts from those of his sinister puppeteer. The constant struggle to maintain his mind and his confidence while he fought the man. The painful task of rebuilding his life in the aftermath of the cataclysm left in Sephiroth's wake.

The nagging knowledge that Sephiroth would never truly disappear until Cloud too was gone.

All of it rushed back and suffocated Cloud in a wave of despair. It hadn't even started yet, and he would have to face it all again? Cloud hardly noticed he was swaying slightly until Chev put a concerned hand on his shoulder to steady him. As Sephiroth drew level with Cloud's spot in the crowd, the blond's breath left his chest completely when the silver haired demon's head spun in his direction.

Despite being buried deep within a crowd of much larger people, something drew Sephiroth's gaze straight to Cloud, picking him out as if he was the only one there. The loathing in the man's fierce glare froze Cloud in place, as if nothing had changed. As if all those murderous battles and struggles weren't a lifetime away. The scathing hatred was as fresh and tangible in the man's eyes as if he had just climbed out of the lifestream.

The pressure in Cloud's head seemed to reach a peak, and it took him precious seconds to realize the dull roar he heard was that of The Planet, suddenly riled and protective of the fragile mind they had inherited. The implications were as terrifying as the man's glare - not only that Sephiroth's presence was enough to frenzy The Planet into a protective state, as if the connection Sephiroth had with his mind had not been severed despite all that had happened - but the fact that Cloud could not even feel his predecessor's presence in his head anymore, perhaps the biggest problem.

Cloud found himself reaching for his sword, but as much as he was ready for an attack, suddenly Sephiroth's attention was snapped away to the redhead beside him. Cloud could have sworn he saw the man blink a couple times in near confusion before he returned to his comrade's side, sparing only a sidelong glare in Cloud's direction he passed them by.

Cloud was left with undue concern. Angeal had said Sephiroth did not know Cloud existed, and the man was obviously not the same crazed weapon that Cloud had killed in times past. Yet why was a Sephiroth still sane and functional able to pick Cloud out of a crowd so easily? Still feel the same way towards him as he had in a past life, perhaps without even understanding why?

Cloud was broken from his stunned trance when Chev's grip on his shoulder reached painful levels - the man's white knuckle grip and bated breath proving to Cloud that he had not imagined Sephiroth's reaction.

"Dude..." Chev finally breathed. "Did you...see...?" As if needing confirmation that what had happened was real, Cloud's grim silence answered volumes. Chev finally removed his hand, turning to Cloud stiffly. "Was that at you? Did you kill his dog or something?"

Cloud laughed, a bitter strained noise that did nothing to ease the tension in his body. "I've never even seen him before." Cloud muttered honestly, finally trying to offer Chev a reassuring flash of teeth that barely counted as a smile. "Maybe someone behind us?"

Chev was relieved and calmed enough by that. "I hope so. I think I need to go change my drawers, it was like he was staring right at us, trying to kill us a thousand times with his eyes."

Cloud grunted as he watched the elevator ascend with its high ranking cargo. The crowd started to disperse, returning to their business now that their time to cheer on two of the Generals had passed. Suddenly his wish to take the elevator to the training rooms vanished. Sephiroth would only be returning to his routine, but Cloud did not want to risk running into the man in case he was laying in wait. Paranoia seemed warranted considering recent events.

"I have to go." He muttered to Chev, turning towards the stairs. "I'll see you around."

He didn't wait for a response; instead he started up the stairs with a new plan in mind. He needed support, answers, clarification. He did not know what kind of comfort he would find, or even if it could be offered any longer, but he needed to try. If naught else but to find closure for the loss of the only human relationship he had coming to this world.

Though he made the trip to Zack's room in record time, it seemed like eons for Cloud's overworked mind. His mind raced with possible explanations that he could present, but as soon as he was face to face with Zack's door, all his plans evaporated from his mind.

Cloud steeled himself and knocked anyways, knowing full well if he tried to recollect his thoughts he would end up leaving instead. Moments after the first knock the door opened. Zack seemed tired when he appeared in the doorway, but he beamed when he saw Cloud.

"Hey! Come in!" Zack said, quickly stepping to the side to let Cloud through. As soon as the blond made it through the door, Zack led them deeper into his apartment. "I was going to come and see you soon, I swear." Zack called quickly.

As Cloud followed him into the kitchen area, he was surprised to see a duffle bag on Zack's small kitchen table, already half packed. There was a multitude of other items scattered about the area, obviously still in the process of being packed. "I got called on a mission this morning, I leave this evening. I was going to come see you when I was done packing."

Cloud found himself nodding, waving it off dismissively. "I didn't think you'd be allowed."

Zack's expression hardened, and he turned from where he was pairing socks from a pile of clean laundry to face Cloud. "Angeal wouldn't stop me from seeing you." He said plainly. "I can decide for myself who I consider my friend." Something about Cloud's expression must have given away his relief at this, because Zack quickly softened.

He closed the space between him and the blond suddenly, then pulled Cloud into a kind embrace. He held Cloud close by wrapping strong arms around his shoulders. A combination of relief, comfort, and Zack's cologne quickly overwhelmed Cloud. He gave a sigh as he leaned into the larger boy, awkwardly touching Zack's elbows in a meek effort to return the embrace. "I'm not a threat." He whispered, words barely spoken. "I would never hurt you."

Zack hummed his agreement. "I know that. I think Angeal knows it too. He understands you wouldn't hurt me, he just..." Zack seemed to cast about for words for a moment, absently rubbing his hand across Cloud's back in a far too motherly manner. Cloud remained stiff in the other man's arms, but Zack did not seem to mind. Instead he rested his chin on top of Cloud's head, taking advantage of the difference in their heights. "Angeal's under a lot of pressure. Everyone turns to him with their problems, and they expect him to know what to do. And you...seem to be hiding the answers he's looking for."

"I don't understand what's going on. I don't know the answers." Cloud said quickly, honestly. People's dreams were not something he'd been informed of. Nothing The Planet had ever mentioned explained why those around him would be able to remember the past in any way. There was undeniable proof that it was happening, but Cloud only knew his own purpose. Everything else was a mystery to him. "But I wouldn't harm you. You'll never understand how much your safety means to me."

He let out a sigh, and finally relaxed just a little into Zack's touch. The man seemed to be thinking on what Cloud said, one hand absently lifting from Cloud's back to pet his hair before he finally spoke. "They're not just dreams, are they?"

The Planet was a swarm of voices, all of them speaking, but not clear enough to be of any help to Cloud. Without The Planets concise instructions to keep his silence, Cloud finally shook his head. "No, they're not just dreams."

Zack stepped back, his eyes falling to the floor as he pressed his hands to Cloud's shoulders. "Then I understand how you feel. I don't even understand why - but I feel the same way."

Cloud pulled away easily, and ran his fingers through his hair nervously, a sign of his stress. "I don't want to taint anyone with this. I didn't know about the dreams. I didn't know anything at all."

"Hey, it's alright." Zack said quickly as he reached out to touch Cloud's arm reassuringly. "We'll figure it out." When Cloud continued to stare away, a thin hand still gripping his hair, Zack moved close and gently pressed his lips to the blond's forehead. "You're not alone, alright? We can help you."

Cloud knew Zack was wrong, and that he was more alone than the SOLDIER could possibly imagine. Yet the words were reassuring in their own right, just a reminder of the simple kindnesses that he might still find in this world.

After a few long moments, Zack finally smiled and jerked his thumb to his duffel bag. "Gotta finish packing. I'll be gone for a couple of days." When Cloud nodded his understanding, Zack returned to his work, folding a pair of pants from the laundry pile. "You have SOLDIER entrance exams coming up soon, don't you? You'll be SOLDIER 3rd by the end of the month."

The confidence in Zack's tone was encouraging, even though Cloud was sure of his ability to make SOLDIER. The time that he had been too weak and fragile to make the cut was long since passed. He had fully surpassed the ability of SOLDIER at one point, and he would soon reach that point again with enough training.

He turned to leave, but before he made it out of the small kitchen area, a nagging question stopped him and he turned back to Zack. "So Angeal isn't going to report me to Shinra?"

Zack looked up, two pairs of mako eyes meeting before he shrugged. "I wouldn't worry about him setting Shinra after you, no." Cloud immediately understood what Zack meant. Angeal did not have to get the company involved to be a threat. "He's got a lot of reasons to dig at you, though. He's probably not going to just let it go."

Cloud turned away, staring hard at the floor. "I have nothing to tell him. I don't know the answers to the questions he's asking."

"You know some of them, though." Zack sighed. "You've obviously involved in...something." The silence that followed Zack's pause was accented by Cloud's stubborn refusal to admit anything, and Zack eventually laughed if only to break the tension. "What you tell anyone is up to you. Just know that we're here for you, and we'll listen if you ever want to talk, okay?"

Cloud gave an indecisive shrug in response, before he raised his hand in a wave goodbye. "Good luck on your mission." He offered with a tense smile as he left the room.

There was comfort there, but it wasn't enough to sooth Cloud's guilty mind or his frayed nerves.

There were other cadets in the common area of their dorm when Cloud returned to his room, but he ignored them as he made a beeline back to his small bedroom. Collapsing on the mattress, he wished that sleep would return to him and stop the thoughts that were trying to drive him crazy.

_He was facing a bright light, which was odd in itself. He spent so little time above the plate anymore, that he had almost forgotten what the sky was. But as he opened his eyes, he saw that it was only a small crack of sunlight, shining down throughout the rubble of a hole in a roof, many feet above him. Where was he?_

_As he sat up, to his surprise, a voice spoke behind him. "You okay?"_

_Her voice was soft, and gentle. A kind voice that brought warmth to a place that he knew had been damaged, somehow. Turning his head, he looked at her. Warm brown hair, beautiful green eyes and pale skin. She was a beauty to behold._

_"This is a church in the Sector 5 slums." She said, wisely warding off the question that was already on the tip of his tongue. "You suddenly fell on top of me, it gave me a real scare." _

_"...I came crashing down?" Cloud asked, his memories of what exactly had happened still a little shaky. Not that the feeling was unfamiliar to him, he often found himself unable to remember things. _

_"The roof and the flower bed must have broken your fall. You were really lucky." She sounded amazed that he wasn't hurt, that he was still moving and speaking coherently. It wasn't very surprising to Cloud though; it took a lot to hurt him, even a long fall he could survive. It was part of being an ex-SOLDIER._

_"Flower bed?" Cloud looked around, and finally took in his surroundings. He was sitting in a bed of flowers, such a rare sight since he had left Nibelheim. They were beautiful white lilies, basking in the light that came through the roof. It was a rare beauty, in this dull city. Quickly jumping to his feet, he brushed himself off and stepped away from the flowers, careful not to crush any more. "Sorry about that."_

_"That's all right. The flowers here are quite resilient because this is a sacred place. They say you can't grow grass and flowers in Midgar. But for some reason, the flowers have no trouble blooming here." She walked away from him, looking over her flowers with great affection. "I love it here." Turning her attention back to Cloud, her expression softened into one of kindness. "So we meet again. Do you remember me?"_

_Cloud did; as soon as she asked it all came back. Running through the streets of Midgar, trying to avoid the Shinra soldiers after him. She had been standing there perfectly calm in the storm that had so many people running. "Yeah, I remember you." He said softly. "You were selling flowers."_

_She turned to her flowers again, and finally Cloud cleared his throat, to bring her attention back to him. "Oh!" She said, as if just remembering. "We don't know each other's names, do we? I'm Aeris, the flower girl. Nice to meet you."_

Cloud jolted awake suddenly. The dream, no, _memories_ began to fade as soon as he awoke, slipping away even as he tried to grab onto them. _Aeris._ It was _her._ He had dreamed of her before, without even knowing who she was. In his dreams, she tended the flowers from the church in a field of white. She drove him away because he could not be beside her.

In his dreams, he had to leave her behind or else she would hurt as much as he.

She had been alive, he had met her in Midgar. Somehow Cloud knew that she had come to be an important part of his life - and yet he could barely grasp onto the memories of who she was, of what she looked like. It was as if there was a block in his mind, interference that stopped him from recollecting.

Gritting his teeth, Cloud stood up and prepared himself for an excursion. It would be more dangerous to go armed into Midgar's streets, so he only took a couple of materia as he slipped quietly from his bedroom. The clock flashed past midnight, nearly one in the morning, but he did not let that stop him as he snuck out of the Shinra building.

Whether or not he could remember who she was, he remembered where he met her. She would be alive and well, tending her flowers at the church in the slums. He would go there, and perhaps seeing her again would fill in the blanks that Cloud knew were important.

It was easy to slip from Shinra's land, and once he hit the plate there was little notice given to just another cadet on the town at night. He took the train down into the slums, keeping to himself and not drawing unwanted attention.

At this time of night, most honest and hard working people were sound asleep in their beds, which left the streets crawling with only the less upstanding citizens of the slums. Some not-too-sober people leaned on each other while they walked down the sidewalks, moving from one bar to another. In the shadows of the allies scuttled the filth of human society that one did better than to encounter.

Cloud kept his head down and walked in the shadows briskly. Without First Sword equipped he was not as armed as he would have liked, but that did not mean he was defenceless. Not that he wanted to have to pull one of the knives from their sheathes on any one, much preferring discretion as he made his way throughout the slums.

Getting off the main streets without incident, Cloud made his way deep into Sector 5, memories starting to flash as he moved through familiar terrain. Well, _somewhat_ familiar. Most of his memories were of Midgar destroyed, the church in his memories the only building in this sector left standing.

He came quite close before the looming stature of the old church started to stand out from the darkness. His heart rate increased, something Cloud couldn't ignore as he came closer. Walking up the steps, memories started to flash through his mind, and upon reaching the top of them Cloud's legs gave out under the sudden onslaught. His hands hit the pavement hard as he fell to his knees, but that wasn't what he saw or felt.

_It was a rare sight in Midgar. They had been commonplace in Nibelheim, but Cloud had learned that the pollution of Midgar, and the Plate especially were unforgiving for natural growth. Even grass was hard to come by, but yet, in this little church, the flowers thrived in purity completely oblivious to the contamination around them. Much like the girl who tended them._

_Guilt. Her blood was on his hands, he was held accountable for her death. No one would say it to his face - perhaps they weren't even thinking it. But the voice in his head would never let him forget it was his failing's that had brought his world to this place. Worse, that the sadness he felt was contrived in an effort for his body to feel __**something**__. As he sat in the flowers, cupping one of the large lily blooms in his hand, he watched the tears roll from his face to the petals with a strange sense of detachment. He would try to prove that voice wrong or die trying. Because if it was right, Cloud's existence was as much of a threat to the planet as His was._

_It was the water that cured the stigma. He had stayed here for almost a year, tending the flowers in her memory. He had been alone that entire time as he fought against it. Sometimes it had felt like Sephiroth's grasp over his mind was stronger than his own, and there had been so little he could do about it. But she was still there - watching over him. The water in the pool was her gift to those she left behind. Little by little, Cloud felt that knowledge start to close wounds he'd thought impossible to heal._

_He had brought some of her flowers to Zack's resting place, and now they grew in the sun next to Buster Sword's blade, where it was thrust into the ground. It was a pleasant thought, when he looked at them. A reminder that they were together in the lifestream, and that someday he would join them._

_Sometimes he would walk into the church after a long day, and for a few brilliant moments he would see her standing there, looking at her flowers with a kind fondness, appreciation that they were still there. She would look up at him, and smile, before she faded away. Cloud could never tell if it was truly her, or only his imagination, but the effect was the same. Sometimes he would find himself lost in a sea of white flowers. Sometimes alone with her, sometimes with Zack behind her. She would smile and talk to him. Calm him down, before returning him to his place in the world._

In his dreams, he would see her in a field of white flowers. But now she no longer smiled or cheered him up. He did not belong there anymore, and she would drive him out. And somehow, Cloud understood. Because she was dead. His connection to her had been strong enough to feel her in the lifestream, by her choice or his. The comfort had been that one day he would join her there. But that lifestream no longer existed.

The Planet would not let him have that peace until his task was complete.

Cloud's hands were cold against the concrete of the Church's steps, his knees sore from kneeling there so long. How long had he been lost in memories? His body protested as he forced himself to straighten, a grim determination settling around him. She had died, and he had been responsible. But he had been given another chance, to save her in this life.

There was something akin to hope in his heart as he opened the doorway to step into the church. But whatever he had expected, he did not find.

It was dark except where beams of moonlight shone into the front of the church. There was a feeling of wrongness in Cloud's gut as he walked deeper into the building. The pews were broken and dusty, it was clear no one had ever been in this building for years and years. When he reached the front, his heart sank deeper into his chest.

There were supposed to be flowers, _life,_ but there was nothing. She had tended flowers here long before Cloud had come to Midgar, so why was there _nothing_? Where the floorboards ended, broken into the ground, there was only cold black dirt, devoid of anything. This is where flowers had at one time grown, and yet...

Squatting next to the dirt, Cloud frowned when he spotted a dim color in the darkness. A single sprout, small and forlorn, had pushed up from the soil. It looked unhealthy, ready to die, and Cloud felt something shrivel inside of him the same way.

Cloud was unsure of his motivation, yet he found himself tending to that tiny sprout. He pulled a water bottle from his jacket to hydrate the parched thing, broke up the soil around it. He caught himself making plans to bring back fertilizer and gardening tools. Perhaps he could find other sprouts for sale above the plate, and plant them here. He was hard-pressed to understand the drive, but this was simply where her flowers were supposed to grow.

Did he hope she would return if there were flowers here? Cloud already knew what the answer would be, part of him had already conceded to that truth. She wasn't here, and she wouldn't come. Something had stopped this world from accepting an important part of Cloud's life back into it, and Cloud longed to know why.

The Planet was silent, refusing to give him the explanation he demanded. Or maybe there was something about this place that maintained the silence, the serenity that Cloud remembered.

Cloud realized the time when the sun began to rise, a few determined sunbeams managed to find their way down from the plate and poured through the hole in the roof of the church.

As he stood up, his resolve strengthened when he looked down at the little green sprout, struggling to survive. It had already started to look healthier, perking up from the water Cloud had given it. Perhaps there was something inside Cloud that identified with its plight. Abandoned and forgotten, but still struggling to live on against all odds.

If this plant died, what would it mean for him?

He left the church, but not for long. It was hard to find fertilizer under the plate, so Cloud ended up taking the train back up to find some. It would have been easier to simply put the sprout in a pot and take it with him, but that place was important. _That_ was where her flowers had to grow.

His escapades into gardening lasted into late morning, yet he felt the result well worth the effort. The soil was rich and soft with the fertilizer he had put around the sprout. He had purchased a large watering bulb and drove it into the soil, filled with water. Even if he did not make it back for a few days, the plant would survive off what he had provided.

Rats scuttled along the pews around him as Cloud left the patch of dirt behind, his boots making a dull thump on old wood as he walked. He stopped at the entrance, and looked back over his shoulder. As much as he willed the scene to be different, nothing had changed, and he forced himself to accept it.

As he left the church behind it was a struggle to not look back. This place was not what he remembered, with its healing water and bright flowers. The place that had been so important to him was now nothing, and it was hard for Cloud to face that. When he got far enough away, he left the protective barrier that had silenced the voices of The Planet. A muddle of whispers flooded his mind again, and in the chaos of voices he did not hear that melodic voice as it called out to him.

_'Cloud, I'm so sorry.'_

He had been sure that the world had returned to the way it was, that everything was as it had been. But something had changed in the scene of this world, beyond Cloud's place in it. What else would be different? What impact would it have on the course of events?

He had to find Jenova, destroy her and remove all traces of her existence from documentation. He knew his main targets, and without them much of the contamination of The Planet would be halted. It would end in conflict, much of the dangerous research had already commenced. Sephiroth had already been created, as the culmination of years of research and experiments. Even now, Hojo was trying to replicate Sephiroth's cells and functions in other people.

For now, at least, none of those attempts would be successful. Zack had been the first success.

But what would he do, after Jenova was eliminated? That was the reason he had been sent, but Shinra's use of mako might still drain The Planet's strength from the lifestream. There would be others to deal with that - but what if some in Shinra had regained memories through dreams, of what had happened as well? Cloud shuddered to think. What if someone like Rufus Shinra knew the direction the world would head?

And what of Aeris? Cloud remembered next to nothing about her, but her inexistence would have to have some effect on the world. There was no doubt in his mind that she had never been born in this world. One had to wonder how much of an impact a single life would have in the stream of things.

How much of it rested with Cloud? The Planet had focused him on Jenova's destruction, but was it possible that after it was done, The Planet would shift his focus to something else? It was painful to even consider.

Such thoughts were all that kept Cloud company on his way back to the Shinra building. In an effort to stop the descending chaos of his thoughts, he forced himself to catch the last class of the day instead. With SOLDIER exams looming at the end of the month, classes let out early in the afternoon to give cadets more time to focus on their training.

The entire class was devoted to grinding into them what they would need for their exams. Battle tactics, formations, and protocols were reviewed. Their instructor was sure to drill into them the need to train in their free time, in order to do well on the exams.

Cloud did not feel the need to review tactics and formations, so he opted for physical training instead. After stopping in his room to grab his sword and some materia, he headed for the training centre.

Despite having been awake for a long period of time, he did not feel the pulls of exhaustion as he logged into the battle menu from his phone. He was still using Zack's information -he would have his own as soon as he became SOLDIER- but Zack was still his only access to the database. He did not need to flick through options long, instead opting for the most difficult mission he could access.

As he put the VR helmet on, the mission began to construct itself in front of him. Pulling his sword from its sheath, Cloud threw himself into the fray without hesitation.

Enemy lines had been penetrated, brutally. Cloud had carved a path from the outer perimeter to the inside of the enemy base, leaving nothing but the bodies of soldiers and their attack robots behind him. Alarm's had been set off, flashing red and sounding alerts to all military personnel that there was an intruder that had to be dealt with; but the survivors were scattered and fell easily as they tried to stop him.

Several captains had barricaded themselves the control room that kept parts of the building locked down. They were preparing for Cloud's attack, and the blond was so overconfident to think that there would not be resistance. But he had planned ahead. When he breached a wall through sheer force and explosives that he had located, he did not charge in as they had expected. Instead he tossed a gas bomb into the room, and waited by the exit to catch them as they rushed to escape it's deadly fumes.

Just as the first enemy met Cloud's sword with a yell of surprise, everything froze and began to disintegrate. _Mission Aborted_ flashed in front of Cloud's eyes, and with a growl of dismay, Cloud quickly yanked the helmet off his head to see what had disrupted his training.

He didn't expect to see Angeal standing in front of him with PHS in hand, no doubt how he terminated the mission. Cloud's eyes were still blurry and crossed from refocusing on the real world, and he took a careful step backwards before he sheathed his sword and let the VR helmet fall to the floor.

Angeal barely spared Cloud a glance as he scrolled through his phone, which left the blond struggling to find the restraint he required to bite back several angry remarks. The last thing Cloud needed was to spark a confrontation. Cloud waited with a smooth façade of calm indifference while Angeal finished reviewing the mission he had cancelled, eventually focusing a steady gaze on Cloud.

"I have exams coming in a week." Cloud said carefully. "I need to train." If Angeal had finally chosen take offence at Cloud's use of Zack's training card, surely he could overlook it until exam's were over and Cloud had access to his own.

Angeal snorted, tapping his phone a couple of times before he flipped it to show Cloud the screen. It was a replay of Cloud's performance, in which Cloud charged a particularly challenging extermination robot with Braver and seared it clean in half. "This isn't training." Angeal remarked, before taking his phone back and continuing to review the cancelled mission. "It's…hacking metal to bits. You're not improving your skills or challenging yourself at all."

Cloud glared. He had been running one of the most difficult missions he could unlock with Zack's clearance, doing the best he could to pose a challenge with his training. _Keep it civil,_ he reminded himself, as Angeal continued. "I was watching your run for a while before I stopped it. It just seems like a waste of time if you aren't learning anything, just grinding numbers to make your profile more impressive."

"That's not—" Cloud stopped himself, narrowing his eyes at the obvious baiting. Angeal was intimately familiar with Zack's training, he _knew_ that it was a difficult mission and that Cloud wasn't just trying to look good. Cloud rolled his shoulders in an exasperated manner. "Then what would you suggest I do to _improve_?"

Angeal grinned as he scrolled through his phone, his expression far too delighted for Cloud's comfort. Without the use of the VR helmet, the training centre transformed. This was the way First's trained, which immediately alluded to the difficulty of the mission Angeal had chosen. No wonder he looked so happy.

It was rather simplistic, near the back of the room two large attack bots appeared, however they had been set to passive-mode by Angeal and did not initiate combat. Still, they were far more advanced than the ones used in the missions Cloud had been running.

"What, can't kill me in a fair fight so you're hoping to let some robots do it?" Cloud muttered. Mission instructions weren't transmitted, so he assumed instead that Angeal had cooked something unique up to _challenge_ him. Great.

"This isn't to demonstrate your swordsmanship. These robots are immune to all physical damage, only susceptible to lightning. You'll have to use magic to kill them." Cloud narrowed his eyes while he reached for his materia, but Angeal stopped him before he could find the right sphere. "You'll use this."

Angeal passed him a small materia, which Cloud immediately recognized as bolt. The obvious difference was that it was new and unleveled, whereas Cloud's usual bolt materia was mastered. Cloud's face must have betrayed his lack of amusement, because Angeal explained. "You won't always have mastered materia to fall back on."

"Yeah I'm sure I'll see you running around Wutai casting bolt1 to save the day." Cloud muttered, drawing a snort from Angeal in response.

"I don't need mastered materia to do damage. And neither should you. I've seen your stats. Your spells are impressive, sure. But with your stats and your materia, you should be hitting way harder than you do. Your magic use is weak." It was concerning, Cloud decided, that Angeal had put this much thought into his abilities. Yet he was also insulted that Angeal would pick apart his training that way, as if such a weakness warranted scrutiny.

Sparing a final glare at Angeal, Cloud pressed the materia into Mystile and wasted no time in charging the spell. Upon casting, the spell sizzled against the robots armor, doing little to impress Cloud. There was no effect, clearly showing that the robot was partially resistant to lightning as well. If Angeal's game was to belittle his abilities, he would get little response from Cloud. The blond's prides confidence had already been dragged through the mud.

In rapid succession he casted spell after spell, watching as they sizzled uselessly with no effect. When his mana was fully depleted, he pulled an ether from his sheath and glared at Angeal as he drank it. "Satisfied?"

Pointedly ignoring Cloud's irritation, Angeal breathed a sigh as he grabbed Cloud's arm. Before the blond could react, he plucked the materia from Mystile and pressed it into the handle of the training sword at his side. Cloud watched silently as Angeal stepped up to stand next to him.

"Anyone can use Materia, but few can fully harness it." Angeal said seriously, as he stretched his arm out in front of him. When he tightened his fist, a crackle of electricity sparked around his hand. Almost like a caress, the electricity danced about his fist and up his arm. Cloud tried hard not to be impressed as he watched it swirl across his shoulders, before it arced back to his fist with a loud crack. Casually, Angeal swung his fist through the air, almost tossing the magic towards the training robots in front of them.

Lightning exploded with energy as soon as it left his palm, bursting with great speed across the floor. Within seconds it exploded underneath the robot, blasting through its armor with a resounding bang, destroying it effortlessly. As it crumpled to the floor, Cloud let out a soft breath he hadn't realized he was holding on to.

"Bolt1, huh?" He was suddenly more interested in learning to utilize his magic.

"Some of your stats are as high as mine." Angeal said bluntly, turning to face Cloud. "You should hold yourself to a much higher standard than just SOLDIER. Being able to control and shape your spells takes a lot of training, and inherit abilities. Genesis, Sephiroth, and myself are the only SOLDIER who have perfected this form of combat." Electricity sparked as Angeal pulled the materia from the slot in his sword, passing it back to Cloud. "I have no doubt you hold the same capability."

Cloud rolled the materia in his hand, staring at it thoughtfully. Whether Angeal understood why, the man was right. The three General's were unique in their abilities due to the nature of their construction. Cloud shared the cells they had been created with - he could heal the same way, was resistant to harm, and had the same physical capabilities because of the experiments he had endured.

But there was more to him now, even more than before his death. The Planet had settled into his body, and infused him with mako direct from the lifestream. There was no reason he shouldn't be able to use that and excel with magic as much as he did with his sword.

Yet he depended on the strength of his materia instead, unable to power his spells any more than an average SOLDIER. He could not resist shooting Angeal a filthy glare as he pressed the materia back into Mystile. Had the man interrupted him to start a fight, interrogate him or had he mouthed off, Cloud would have simply brushed him off. Instead Angeal had shown the calculating knowledge and observance that made him an excellent mentor to Zack, and given Cloud something to seriously consider.

Awkward. Cloud wasn't sure how to respond to someone actually _teaching_ him something. Of course, after all that had happened so many years ago, Cloud was the only one of their kind left alive. In this time period, he was not a unique creature. These were the men that had predeceased him, of which he was only a sketchy copy. Whereas Cloud had been completely overwhelmed by his power and struggled to simply maintain his sanity, these men had spent their lives training to utilize every drop of their ability.

If the WRO had men like Angeal or Sephiroth on their side during the war, it was possible they wouldn't have lost. But Cloud, the weakest of their kind, had been the only one left. Even Zack had proven more capable of handling the power he had received, barely phased, with the will to fight against anything that challenged him. Frustrating then, that the biggest burden was put on the weakest link.

Angeal made no comment as Cloud considered this, staring blankly at the materia he had junctioned. The biggest problem was that Cloud did not even know where to begin. Perhaps controlling and empowering a spell was simply like flexing the right muscle at the proper time, but it was a muscle he did not even know he had.

A few moments of intense concentration proved he felt nothing from the materia except the base spell. With an angry glance in Angeal's direction, he found the man's gaze focused entirely upon him, displaying a vast amount of interest in Cloud's concentration.

Knowing he was being watched so closely made things worse. Perhaps he was simply unable to reach to his materia the same way the three general's could. It was possible the ability had never made it into the makeup of an unsuccessful clone.

With that angry thought, Cloud cast the spell, and was unsurprised when it bounced harmlessly off the robot. It seemed to be mocking Cloud from where it stood next to the smoking lump of scrap Angeal had turned its partner into.

"You're too tense." Angeal said, stepping behind Cloud. The blond tensed further at the close proximity, but Angeal disregarded this. "Magic is a flow through your body. It starts at the materia, then it follows your bodies energies. That connection is what allows you to control it. _Anyone_ can. But when you are as high strung as you, the energies in your body reflect it. They're chaotic and don't let the magic flow, so it stunts your spells."

When Angeal set large hands on his shoulders, Cloud jumped. "You aren't even trying to relax." The larger man grumbled, though there was amusement in his tone.

"I can't." Cloud said honestly. "I don't even know how."

When Angeal chuckled, the man was close enough Cloud felt warm breath against his hair. "You do it every time you enter combat. Tension leaves you and you _fly._ You focus only on battle, and forget everything else. Do that now."

The bliss of battle was a headspace Cloud loved. It was what he was designed for. His life was an overcomplicated mess, a constant struggle against everything threatening to overwhelm him. But combat was different. In a fight, his only goals were to stay alive, and eliminate the threat. Then, he did not have to worry about why he was fighting, his motives or reasons. None of that mattered until after the battle was over. The rush of the moment was what brought him peace.

The last months of his life had been nothing but fighting, and Cloud was fully aware that had it been any different, he would not have lasted so long. Without war to lose himself in, he would have fallen apart.

"I don't do it intentionally." Cloud frowned. "It just...happens."

"Then stop thinking about anything but your magic. Let it happen." Suddenly Angeal's hands were slowly rubbing Cloud's tense shoulders in a soothing manner, meant to calm. "You can feel the spell from your materia, otherwise you wouldn't be able to cast it. Just focus on where the materia connects with you, and don't worry about anything else."

Much easier said than done. Especially when Angeal did not stop rubbing his shoulders, something that felt a little too good to be appropriate. It was having the desired effect though - his shoulders loosened, and Cloud found himself leaning into the contact instead of jumping away.

As he relaxed, he attempted to sensitize his body to the connection of the materia, to feel where the foreign power source was being drawn. Yet all that did was bring his attention to another foreign connection being made - Angeal's hands. Perhaps he was a little touch starved, but the contact was intimate enough to be distracting.

It finally dawned on him. The closeness of Angeal's body as it nearly pressed against him, radiating warmth. The duck of the man's head so his lips were nearly brushing against Cloud's ear, hot breath tickling it easily. It was all meant to be seductive, and the reaction it stirred from Cloud's body was not conducive to relaxing.

There was a second when Cloud wondered how Zack responded to actions like this, but he brushed such thoughts off. Unable to contain the blush clawing his cheeks, he mumbled. "You're making it hard to concentrate."

Angeal grinned as he backed away enough to give Cloud some space, but he did not apologize. When Cloud reached for his spell again, he was flustered but not tense, and to his surprise he noticed a difference in how easy it was to call the power from the spell.

For the briefest moment as he casted, Cloud closed his eyes and simply _felt_ what Angeal told him was supposed to be there. As the materia flared to life and power coursed through him, Cloud could feel that it was indeed chaotic and uncontrollable. But he felt something else, if only for a second. The whisper of familiar voices, usually so foggy in his mind, were crystal clear as they called out to him from deep within his soul. So many spoke to him at once, calling out as they reached for him, and for that time there was nothing but comfort. Cloud knew that this was The Planet, as connected to his being as the materia was. Without thinking he reached for that comforting chorus of voice and thought, at the same time as he reached for the spell.

The result was explosive. The air itself was charged and sparked with electricity as the spell exploded from his hands, a twisting bolt of lightning that arced from his palm towards the robot. With a sizzling flash it's armor exploded from the strike, electricity crackling loud in the air as it rocked through its target. As it shorted, the robot crumpled to the floor to join the other, still spasming with the aftershocks of electricity.

It hadn't been an extravagant display, and it was leagues from the careful display of control Angeal had demonstrated. Instead, Cloud's palms were raw and perhaps a little burnt, and he was sure he'd never be capable of the control Angeal was, with the chaotic force his abilities seemed to be. But Shiva's shorts, it was effective. The Planet had given him power, a strength to fight for its cause. Cloud had simply never been able to use it until now.

Angeal was clapping as Cloud turned to look at him, the man obviously impressed. "Well, I guess that works." Cloud commented in an offhand manner, trying not to sound too pleased with himself or Angeal's advice.

"There's this rumour going around that I know what I'm talking about." Angeal said with a wave of his hand, studying Cloud for a moment. "It takes incredible training to be able to control that power, but it can be done." Chuckling suddenly, Angeal squinted at the scraps of burnt metal on the floor. "Genesis can pinpoint electricity to only a single circuit on these bots. He can fry their targeting system, so that they attack each other instead. He's always had a remarkable ability with magic." Scooping up the forgotten VR helmet from the floor, he tossed it to Cloud. "So, you ready for the real thing?"

Cloud nodded, but when he glanced at his materia, Angeal smirked. "You'll want your own materia for this one. Just a hint - you'll need Barrier. And put every bit of juice you have into it, because that's the only way it'll stop what's coming for you."

Cloud was almost giddy for the challenge and the chance to really practice, as he picked out his materia.

It had been the sixth missile that got him. Hi-tech stealthing missiles were not fair. Heat-seeking, homing, hi-tech stealthing missiles were even less fair. Angeal had not been kidding when he said that a beefed up barrier would be all that'd keep him alive. Even with his new ability, the barrier he had casted barely kept him together when the first one hit. There was no warning at all, the things were impossible to see with the Invisible spell fused into them, and there was little time to guess their course with the heat of battle upon him.

He hadn't even _seen_ the mech suits that the opponents wore before, and their AI was infallible. They worked as a perfect team, and try as he might Cloud was unable to separate them, instead having to fight them in a group, a much more dangerous task. He focused on one at a time, picking them off while he dodged attacks, keeping up Barrier to try and protect himself while he used his newfound abilities to cast devastating magic to hinder his opponents.

When one of the stealth missiles slammed into him, Cloud was sent sprawling, his Barrier breaking as he tried to scramble to his feet. He was immobilized for long few seconds as he casted cure3 to recover, and the mechsuits showed no mercy in exploiting that weakness. One swerved hard to throw him off, then grabbed him by his ankle and lifted him into the air while the second suit behind drew back for an attack at his prone form. Twisting in the air, Cloud slashed First Sword through the arm of the suit holding him, cutting it shear off and saving himself from the blow that skimmed above his head as he landed on the ground. He casted Ultima, pulling every drop of power that he could find within himself with it, and with a satisfying explosion the mech suits surrounding him were destroyed.

Then the missile hit. He had forgotten Barrier, and there was nothing he could do.

The screen flashed black in his visor, and Cloud came out of his daze on the training room floor as Angeal pulled off the VR helmet with one hand, offering him a Potion in the other. Despite the effects of the helmet leaving his body, Cloud chugged the potion greedily to ease the pains and aches shooting through him.

"Told you to keep Barrier up." Angeal said, holding out a hand to help Cloud up.

"That's so cheap making those missiles invisible." Cloud moaned, pulling himself to his feet using Angeal's offered hand.

"Sephiroth thought so too, This mission was based off of a raid he was sent on against an experimental arms centre in Wutai. The mech suits never made it into military production because he destroyed their prototypes, but Shinra likes to be prepared." As Cloud sheathed his sword, Angeal offered a smile. "You did better than most of the Firsts that run this. A bit more challenging than the missions you've been frequenting."

Cloud snorted. "You just wanted to see me get my ass kicked."

"There's that." Angeal admitted unabashedly. "That's enough for the day. You look exhausted." Cloud nodded as he pulled materia from Mystile and put it back into his sheath. When he was finished, the silence continued. As it grew uncomfortable, Cloud rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

Perhaps to diffuse the tension, Angeal turned to leave.

"Wait." Cloud spoke up, and Angeal stopped in his tracks. "Look, I know I haven't made the greatest impression." Angeal laughed in response as he turned to face Cloud in time to see the blond wince. "I've got a lot on my plate. Just trying to keep myself sane is a full time job, and I've never had much tolerance for people...butting in to my affairs." Perhaps he said the last bit with a little more vindication than necessary. Angeal's attention was on him fully, but the man said nothing. The silence was breeding awkwardness within Cloud, and he was crumbling under its weight.

"I don't understand why other people are getting involved. They're just dreams, I'm not the one behind them, I'm not causing them. I didn't even know they were happening."

He was tired. Physically exhausted from staying up so long, and the excruciating training, yes. But he was emotionally and mentally drained as well, and it showed in his voice, his posture, his expression. Angeal did not have to try hard to find it in him to believe Cloud, and after a few long moments his expression softened.

"Where are you eating tonight?"

There were a lot of responses to his admission that Cloud expected, but that was not one of them. He gaped for a few long moments as he processed the question. "The cafeteria, I guess?"

Angeal's expression was serious as he considered. "If you enjoyed my cooking last time, you could come and have a real supper with me, instead." He paused, no doubt to give Cloud a few moments to think back to the meal he'd had and consider, before he added his condition. "But if you decide to come, I want real answers. I want to know the truth."

Cloud scoffed despite himself. The man had no idea what he was asking. He had been able to connect the dots, sure, but he had been completely unwilling to draw the outlandish conclusion presented. Even if Cloud did tell him the truth, Angeal would assume he was lying.

"So you're bribing me with food now?"

"It's not a bribe." Angeal said seriously, despite Cloud's incredulous tone. He turned his back to the blond and walked towards the exit. "I'm offering you an opportunity you're not likely to get from anyone else." When he reached the door, he didn't look back, instead only offered a wave over his shoulder. "Whether you take the offer is up to you. I'm eating at seven."

It was presumptuous of Angeal to offer understanding when he did not even know what he was asking of Cloud. His situation was so outrageous, there was no chance that someone could believe what he could tell them. Even if they did believe him, how would telling someone make his burden any easier to bear? Cloud knew there was no way for someone to sympathize with his problems.

And yet some part of him yearned for what Angeal was offering, feeling no doubt exactly as Angeal assumed he would. Lost and lonely, he wished for the comfort of sharing the burden, of not being alone as he was consumed.

For sanities sake, would agreeing to answer Angeal's questions be worth it? If Angeal brushed them off as more lies, then Cloud would know for sure. He could push away lingering doubts that would haunt him otherwise. Or would it be too much, to share his situation and have it tossed aside as foolish lies?

It was late into the afternoon before Cloud made his decision.


End file.
